


10 Things I Hate About You

by brightwoods



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, But with the idea twisted to fit how I want, Elias has canon-compliant issues with alcohol, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), M/M, Modern Era, mundane AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 53,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27793600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightwoods/pseuds/brightwoods
Summary: Cordelia Carstairs isn't allowed to date until her older brother does. Alastair is in a secret relationship with Charles Fairchild, but can't tell anyone that he's dating him. So, at Charles' suggestion, and to give his sister any chance at dating, Alastair reluctantly decides to go on a date with someone else. It's supposed to be just one date and mean nothing, but things get complicated and Alastair starts to question his real relationship.
Relationships: Alastair Carstairs & Cordelia Carstairs, Alastair Carstairs/Thomas Lightwood, Cordelia Carstairs/James Herondale
Comments: 246
Kudos: 344





	1. Chapter 1

Alastair resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Sona asked his sister, “How are things going between you and James?”

Over the last few months, the dynamic between Cordelia and James had begun to change, much to Alastair’s dismay. She had been talking more and more about him and Alastair had hoped that her interest in one of his least favourite people would fade away on its own, but it had only seemed to grow as Sona’s curiosity about them grew too.

It wouldn’t surprise Alastair if his mother was already planning the wedding in her head. The idea of James Herondale marrying into his family made Alastair nauseous, but hopefully it would never come anywhere close to that.

“Well,” Cordelia said with a small smile. “Actually, he asked me on a date today.”

Sona beamed as if Cordelia had just announced that she had won the lottery and all of their money problems had disappeared just like that.

“Well, you’d better have told him no,” Elias grumbled. “You are _not_ going on any dates.”

“Layla is seventeen, dear,” Sona tried. “Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

“Alastair is older and he isn’t dating,” Elias pointed out, although that wasn’t exactly true. “Cordelia can date when he does. And no sooner.”

It went without saying that Elias assumed that wouldn’t be happening any time in the near future.

Cordelia’s face fell and Alastair gritted his teeth together.

While he couldn’t fathom what his sister could possibly see in James Herondale, he also didn’t like the idea of her being forbidden from dating because of him, especially when he hadn’t been planning on ever dating in any kind of public setting. He hated the idea of his sister being deprived of her happiness just because he couldn’t be part of a normal relationship.

* * *

The next night, when Alastair’s phone buzzed in his pocket, he had just finished cleaning up after his father so that Cordelia and the friend she had over wouldn’t notice the empty bottles and figure out what was going on. Elias had passed out at the desk in his home office once again, but at least this time he hadn’t been sick all over himself first.

Alastair pulled out his phone and saw that the message was Charles saying that he was out front, stopped a few houses down. Even though his mother was already in bed and Cordelia was busy upstairs with Lucie, Alastair was still careful to open and close the door slowly and silently as he snuck outside and over to Charles’ car.

The moment the car door closed behind him, Charles stepped on the gas.

“No one saw you?”

“We’re fine,” Alastair assured him.

“Good,” Charles said, although his shoulders remained tense. “My mother has a late meeting, my father’s locked himself in the basement trying to make his latest invention work, and Matthew is off god knows where so I don’t think anyone will question where I am.”

“It’s not like they would guess where you were, even if they wondered,” Alastair pointed out.

Charles grunted, but didn’t say another word as he drove. His body language only relaxed when he had parked in an unlit parking lot outside of town.

He unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned across the seat to kiss Alastair passionately. Alastair just let himself enjoy it for a moment, before he reluctantly pulled back.

“Does it bother you?” he asked. “That we have to sneak around like this?”

“Why?” Charles asked, narrowing his eyes as he studied Alastair’s face.

“It would be easier if we didn’t have to hide things all the time.”

“It wouldn’t be easier for me.” Charles pulled all the way back into his own seat. “You know I want to go into politics. It’s hard enough to get elected without anyone knowing about… This… And it wouldn’t make your life any easier for you either.”

Usually, Alastair would agree with him. He had the same fears of people finding out about their relationship, albeit for very different reasons. He didn’t want to ruin Charles’ future or his family’s reputation. He dedicated every day to trying to keep anything that could be used as ammunition against him or his family a secret. But, now, keeping his secret was getting in the way of his sister’s future. Plus, the promise rings Charles and Ariadne had been wearing lately made it a lot harder to try to convince himself that he was okay with Charles’ public relationship.

“I just-“

“Why are you pushing this?” Charles asked. “You knew this couldn’t be public. You wanted to keep it private too.”

Alastair sighed, then admitted, “My father banned Cordelia from dating until I do.”

“So? Have her lie and pretend you are dating someone,” Charles suggested.

_Pretend you are dating someone_. Alastair tried to brush the words off. He knew what they had and that Charles hadn’t really meant that they weren’t together, just that they weren’t dating publicly.

“She cares too much about our father’s approval,” Alastair insisted. “She wouldn’t go against what he wants. And there’s no way I could just lie about dating someone and not get questioned about it by my mother.”

“So go on a date,” Charles said. “Date someone publicly like I do with Ariadne. That’s better than anyone finding out about us.”

Alastair frowned. He didn’t want to go on a date with anyone else and he didn’t like knowing that Charles would be fine with it, even if he knew he wouldn’t feel anything for someone else.

“Maybe,” Alastair said, even though he couldn’t imagine himself ever dating a woman as a cover like Charles did. He just didn’t feel like fighting about Ariadne again.

Charles grinned and leaned in for another kiss.

Maybe it was better like this anyway. At least when Alastair had Charles to himself, Charles didn’t have to worry about what anyone else thought. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know how Charles would act if they were together around other people who knew.

* * *

When Charles dropped him off, Alastair crept back into the house silently, in case his father had woken up, but the main floor of the house was silent.

He hoped that Cordelia would still be awake and her annoying friend would be gone. He wanted to talk to her. He knew that he couldn’t tell her about who he was seeing, but he wanted to at least tell her that he was seeing someone and explain why he couldn’t tell their parents he was dating. Maybe she’d come up with a way to fix their father’s ultimatum. Probably not.

But at least he’d have someone he could talk to about whether he should play pretend for her sake or cover for her while she dated behind their parents’ back. It was hard to make a plan when he didn’t know what she would be willing to go along with.

The idea of telling her still terrified him, but he needed her to know and he wanted to tell her now, before he could get too nervous and back out of it yet again.

The light from her room was shining through the crack beneath the door and he wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed that she was still awake. Maybe a little of each.

He paused with his hand halfway to the door, trying to gather the nerve to knock.

He wondered if she would hate him when she found out the truth about him. He wondered if she would tell their parents. He wondered if she would be disgusted that she was related to him.

At least he would finally know once he told her.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out though.

Alastair let out a sigh and was just about to knock when he heard a voice from the other side of the door.

“I’m just saying it’s a real shame that you can’t go on a date with him,” Lucie Herondale sighed dramatically. “If things had worked out, we could have been real sisters.”

Alastair should have just turned and left, but his curiosity got the best of him and he found himself leaning closer to the door instead to try to hear how disappointed his sister was that she’d had to turn down James’ offer.

“It would have been a date, not a wedding,” Cordelia laughed.

“Yes, but dating could have led to marriage,” Lucie replied. “But now we’ll never know.” Alastair was just about to leave, when she added, “If you have to wait for Alastair to date someone, I don’t know that you’re ever going to get to go on a date.”

“I don’t know,” Cordelia responded. “Forever’s an awfully long time.”

“So you think he’s interested in someone?”

“Well, no,” Cordelia admitted. “Not that I know of, anyway.”

“No offence, but you know that he keeps to himself,” Lucie said, sounding a little hesitant about her wording. “And he’s kind of a jerk to everybody at school. It doesn’t seem like he’s interested in anyone and I can’t imagine anyone’s waiting for a chance to go on a date with someone who acts the way that he does.”

Alastair gritted his teeth. She wasn’t wrong. Even if he did decide to pretend to date a girl from school, he couldn’t imagine any of the girls would agree to go on a date with him. That was supposed to be a good thing, but now for his sister’s sake he couldn’t even go on one date with a girl, say it didn’t work out, and end things there.

He wondered if Cordelia had told James why she couldn’t go on a date with him. If so, he’d probably had a good laugh with Matthew at the idea of anybody ever wanting Alastair. Ironic, considering Alastair was with Matthew’s brother, but then it’s not like Matthew was ever going to find that out.

“You know, The Beautiful Cordelia would never let an obstacle like this get in her way,” Lucie insisted.

“Well then I’ll just have to keep living out my romantic life through your stories,” Cordelia said with a laugh.

Alastair pulled away from the door and headed for his room.

He’d heard more than enough.

* * *

At school the next day, everyone was talking about a party that had been announced for Friday night. No one invited Alastair, but he wasn’t bothered. He was relieved. Extra time outside of school surrounded by people he couldn’t stand sounded dreadful enough, but adding alcohol to the mix made it sound utterly insufferable.

As he headed over to the table he usually sat at with his friends Clive and Eustace, he passed Charles and Ariadne’s table. Charles didn’t even look at him when he passed, which was nothing out of the ordinary. Alastair overheard Charles’ friends talking about the party and he only became more certain he did not want to attend if Charles was going to be there with Ariadne. It was awful enough having to watch them together during the school day.

Even more insufferably, when he sat down to eat, Alastair’s own friends were discussing the party too.

“I’m not going,” he insisted.

“Why not?” Eustace asked.

“Why would either of you want to?” Alastair sneered.

Clive shrugged. “There’ll be girls and drinks. It will be fun.”

Alastair couldn’t tell his friend that he had no interest in girls or being around people who had been drinking, so he just grunted in response and shoved a bite of his lunch into his mouth so he wouldn’t be expected to say anything else.

He felt eyes on him and turned to find Thomas Lightwood watching him. Of all of James Herondale’s annoying group, Thomas was the one that pestered Alastair the most. James had eventually finally left him alone and started ignoring him back when their families used to go on vacation together. Christopher was so distracted most of the time that Alastair considered him a walking liability and wasn’t convinced that he was even aware of who was around him at any given time. Matthew was a pest, but for the most part they avoided each other, although sometimes Alastair couldn’t resist dropping a snarky comment and when they were stuck in each other’s presence, Matthew wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to act self-righteous while he whined about Alastair.

Thomas was different and Alastair didn’t know what to make of it. For some unfathomable reason, Thomas seemed to crave his attention, even though Alastair wanted nothing to do with him or his group of friends. He kept waiting for Thomas to snap out of it and realize that he wasn’t whatever Thomas was making him out to be in his head, but Thomas kept trying to talk to him and play nice when he wished he would just leave him alone. It was unnerving.

Back when Thomas had just been tiny little Thomas Lightwood, it had just annoyed Alastair when he’d chatter at him while the rest of his stupid little group glared at Alastair as if it was his fault that their friend was fixated on him. But Alastair didn’t know what to think since Thomas had come back after the summer break with more than half a foot on him and shoulders twice as broad as they used to be.

When he had first seen the change, he had thought he had been mistaken about it being Thomas. Now, he wasn’t sure what to say around him. He couldn’t make fun of him for being so small and sickly looking anymore.

He still hadn’t come up with a new insult that stuck quite as well.

* * *

“So…” Cordelia said during dinner that night. “There’s a get-together on Friday and Lucie’s going. And I would like to go with her.”

“A get-together?” Sona asked curiously.

“She means a party,” Elias said.

“Well, yes, but I’ll be with Lucie the whole time and you know how responsible she is,” Cordelia insisted. “And I promise I won’t stay out too late.”

Elias frowned. “No parties, you’re not old enough. And you’re not going with that boy.”

“How old do I have to be?” Cordelia asked.

“No dating until Alastair is and no parties Alastair isn’t going to,” Elias said.

Alastair had never asked to go to a party in his life. He complained about everyone at school and called all of the people who went to the parties idiots. Their father may as well have said Cordelia could die of old age while still too young to go to one.

“What if Alastair goes with her?” Sona suggested. “He can make sure she’s safe.”

Alastair frowned to himself, but didn’t object. He figured he owed Cordelia.

Elias grunted. “It doesn’t sound like the kind of thing he would want to go to.”

Alastair _didn’t_ want to go to the party and he didn’t particularly want Cordelia to go either, but his blood boiled at the fact that he was being used to punish her. And he hated that she would let their father enforce whatever hypocritical rules he wanted. Like Cordelia would be any worse off around high school drunks than staying home and risking finding out the truth that the father she looked up to so much was a drunk himself.

“Actually,” Alastair said. “I am going. So I guess that means Layla can too.”

Cordelia turned and looked at him in surprise. “You are?”

“I am,” he confirmed. “And I’m going with someone. So I guess that means you’re free to exercise poor taste with James there too.”

Elias poured himself another glass of wine.

“You’re going with someone?” Sona asked eagerly. “Oh that’s wonderful. Who is it?”

That was a great question. He had already dug himself into a hole and there was no way he was giving a name and having Cordelia say something at school.

“Someone from school,” Alastair shrugged. “I don’t feel like talking about it.”

He was lucky that his mother was so excited at the idea of Cordelia being able to go to the party with James. She spent the rest of the meal suggesting outfits for Cordelia to wear and Alastair got away with not having to explain himself. For now at least.

* * *

The next morning, Alastair resisted the urge to groan when he turned a corner to find James and his group of friends standing between him and his locker. He wondered if Cordelia had already told James that she could go to the party with him. He wondered if James knew it meant he was supposedly going with someone.

Alastair purposely shouldered his way past James, silently praying that none of them would ask him any questions or try to make any comments about him and his imaginary love life.

“Dick,” Matthew muttered as he passed by.

Alastair didn’t care. It suited him just fine if Matthew hated him and wanted nothing to do with him. At least if Matthew didn’t know about him and Charles, Alastair didn’t have to try to make an effort to get along with him. He was glad that Charles never invited him to anything where he would have to spend time with Matthew.

“I wasn’t aware that your group owned the hallway,” Alastair retorted as he unlocked his locker.

Matthew scoffed, then said to his friends, “Come on, let’s go somewhere where we don’t have to put up with snaky serpents.”

Alastair was relieved as he heard footsteps retreating, but when he finished grabbing his history textbook and shut his locker, he found Thomas still standing there.

“What do you want?” Alastair asked, a little more aggressively than was really necessary.

“I just thought we could head to class together,” Thomas said. “Since we’re both going to the same one anyway.”

“Why? Did you forget the way?” Alastair sneered, then he turned to walk to class alone but Thomas immediately fell into step beside him.

Alastair silently cursed Thomas’s growth-spurt for giving him legs long enough that he could keep up easily no matter how fast Alastair walked.

“That’s funny,” Thomas said, even though Alastair had said it to piss him off and make him go away. “Hey, so have you heard about that party thing on Friday?”

“I do have ears,” Alastair pointed out. “So yes, I have heard about it.”

“Are you going to it?” Thomas asked.

Alastair glanced at him for a moment and almost ran right into someone headed the opposite way. He desperately wanted to say _I’d rather be caught dead than hang out at a party filled with idiots like you and your friends,_ but he couldn’t. He’d already told his family that he would go with Cordelia. He’d already told his parents that he had a date to it. A date that didn’t exist.

Alastair stopped dead in his tracks as he realized the obvious answer. He needed someone to go with in the loosest definition of a date. He needed someone who would actually be willing to go with him. And here was Thomas Lightwood asking him if he was going. Thomas Lightwood who for years had maintained some strange interest in him.

This was a bad idea.

“Are _you_ going?” Alastair countered.

“Yes,” Thomas said. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Alastair didn’t let him.

“Great,” Alastair said. “You can take me.”

It was _almost_ worth it for the shocked look on Thomas’s face.

But then again, he had just asked another guy to a party with him. As a date. A date that he had told his whole family about. _And_ he’d asked the one person who might actually be interested in him when he was already in love with somebody else. He was doomed.

“Okay,” Thomas said finally, then a smile cracked across his face. “I’ll take you.”

“It isn’t a big deal,” Alastair insisted. “So don’t expect it to be. We’re just going to a party together.”

And that’s all it would be, he told himself. Alastair would go to the party. They’d sit near each other and make horrible small talk but that would be it. Nothing would happen and then it would be done.

“Alright,” Thomas agreed as he held the classroom door open for him. He didn’t seem bothered at all. In fact, he seemed a little amused. “We’re just going to a party together.”

Alastair hoped he was imagining a slight emphasis on the word together as he dodged Thomas and purposely chose a desk with no other empty ones near it so that Thomas couldn’t sit beside him. He needed time by himself to think about what he had just done. And what the hell he was going to tell his family.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: I am so so sorry that this update took so long. I know I said I was expecting to have it up weeks ago, but then lots of irl stuff came up and by the time it was over, writer's block had hit and it was a struggle to finish the chapter but I'm going to try to have the next one up quicker!**

Alastair’s luck ran out on Thursday evening when his mother once again asked about the date he was supposedly taking to the party.

“Lightwood asked me,” Alastair said because he knew she wasn’t going to give up and he knew that unfortunately, for Cordelia’s sake, he needed them to believe he had a date. He hoped his parents would assume he meant Anna Lightwood.

“When is she picking you up?” Elias asked.

Alastair stared down at his plate, pushing his food around with his fork as an excuse not to make eye contact. “I was planning to get a ride with Clive and Eustace.”

“I want to see your date,” Sona insisted.

Alastair made the mistake of looking up and found his father frowning.

“Taking someone as your date to a party usually involves going with them,” Elias said. “If you’re going, your date picks you up.”

Alastair’s stomach dropped and he hoped he was the only one aware of how hard his heart was beating.

He wanted to point out that he could pick up his date if Elias hadn’t totaled the family car in a drunk driving accident, but he couldn’t. Cordelia still believed that their father had been sick and fainted at the wheel and there was no way Alastair was going to be the one to break the truth to her after all he had done to protect her from it.

“Fine,” Alastair said. “I’ll get picked up for my date.”

For once, he was hoping that his father would be passed out drunk extra early. At least then maybe only Cordelia and their mother would find out that Alastair wasn’t interested in any ‘her’s.

Sona beamed and clapped her hands together, “Oh, perfect.”

“Cordelia’s date picks her up too,” Elias said. “I want to see him.”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” Cordelia said and Alastair wasn’t surprised. She always had been quick to appease their father.

* * *

The next morning, instead of avoiding the seat next to Thomas the way he had been all week, Alastair purposely slipped into the chair next to him.

Thomas glanced up with visible surprise and Alastair resisted the urge to mock him for it. He still needed Thomas to want to go on a date with him. Then again, maybe it would be better if Thomas stood him up.

“Good morning,” Thomas said.

“Give me your phone,” Alastair said, completely ignoring Thomas’s greeting.

Thomas didn’t even ask why or stop to consider before he pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it over. For all he knew, Alastair could have been planning to change all of his contact names or just keep his phone.

Instead, Alastair sent himself a text message from Thomas’s phone so that he would have his number, then added his own number to Thomas’s contact list.

When Alastair handed his phone back over, Thomas looked down at the new contact and smiled to himself as if it meant anything and wasn’t just Alastair finding a way to contact him later about his upcoming pickup hell without having to talk about it in front of anybody else.

Alastair hadn’t told anyone that he was going to the party with Thomas and so far it seemed like it hadn’t gotten out to the general population at school. He wanted to keep it that way as long as possible. Maybe, if he was lucky, no one would even realize that he and Thomas were going there on a date and not just as two people who coincidentally showed up at the same time or two friends, which would be a horrible association but at least he wouldn’t be outed by it.

“You’re picking me up tonight,” Alastair said. “I’ll text you the details later.”

* * *

For once, Alastair wasn’t relieved that his father had yet to pass out. Usually, he would have been thrilled that his father hadn’t drunk himself unconscious at this hour, but not when it meant that he would still be awake when Thomas arrived to pick him up.

Cordelia had left a while ago since Alastair had intentionally told Thomas to pick him up fifteen minutes after James was supposed to pick up Cordelia. He didn’t want her home for whatever his parents’ reaction would be to his date not being a girl. He had been hoping that only his mother would find out when Thomas showed up.

Sona and Elias both kept peeking past the curtains, just waiting for Alastair’s date to arrive. Alastair tried and probably failed to look casual as he hovered by the door, waiting to flee the moment that his so-called date arrived. It felt like there wasn’t enough air in the house. He wanted to message Thomas to cancel, but it was already too late for that with Cordelia on her date and besides, Thomas probably wouldn’t see the message until he was already there anyway.

Alastair pulled out his phone anyway and checked the time _again_ , then opened up his very short message thread with Thomas and typed two letters then deleted them, but didn’t lock his phone.

A knock on the door made him jump and he was in no way prepared to handle this, but he didn’t have any other option so he tugged the door open as fast as he could.

Thomas was grinning in the doorway and he opened his mouth to say something, but Alastair stepped out, practically walking right into Thomas, and slammed the door shut behind him.

He could feel eyes on him through the windows as he hooked his elbow through Thomas’s and started dragging him to his car. Thomas probably could have easily resisted if he wanted to, considering the absurd growth spurt he’d undergone but instead, he let Alastair walk him backward.

“We’re leaving. Now.” Alastair told him.

He resisted the urge to look back at which of his parents Thomas was waving at. He knew both must be looking and he didn’t want to see the looks on their faces. He just wanted to get out of there before they’d open the door and he’d have to listen to their reactions, especially in front of Thomas.

When they reached where Thomas had left his car on the street, he let go of Thomas and got into his passenger seat, closing the door much harder than was necessary. Thomas at least sensed his urgency and moved faster on his way to the driver’s side of his car.

Alastair glanced back at the house against his better judgment and took a shaky breath as his eyes met his mother’s confused gaze. He forced himself to look away before he would have to see his father’s reaction.

“Are you okay?” Thomas asked.

“Just drive,” Alastair insisted, still glaring straight ahead at the road to avoid making eye contact with anyone.

Thomas’s eyes stayed locked on his face for a moment longer before he started driving.

Alastair’s body relaxed a bit once they had turned off his road, but he still felt a pit of dread in his stomach. He would still have to go back there at the end of the night. And he still had to walk into this party with Thomas in front of everyone at the school. And in front of Cordelia. If he was lucky, maybe everyone else would assume that he had just caught a ride with Thomas in some heterosexual platonic way. But Cordelia would know the truth about him, even if she wouldn’t know the truth about who he was actually with. Suddenly, Alastair was glad that he had barely managed to get any of his dinner down. He felt nauseous enough as it was.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have come to the door,” Thomas said quietly.

Alastair took a deep breath. “They would have been staring at you through the window either way. They insisted on my date picking me up so they could see her. You weren’t exactly what they were expecting.”

“Oh,” Thomas said. “They didn’t know.”

“My mother was born in Iran,” Alastair said. “Where being gay is a crime that can be punishable by death. I figured it was better not to bring it up if I could avoid it.”

“But you changed your mind?” Thomas asked. “Or you just couldn’t avoid it anymore.”

Alastair shrugged. “It’s been getting more difficult to hide it lately. And at least the bandaid’s off now. Mostly.”

“Mostly?” Thomas asked.

“Cordelia knows I’m going with a Lightwood,” he said. “Just not which one.”

“Are you sure you want to go to this?” Thomas asked. “We could do something else instead. Without a bunch of people.”

Alastair was _certain_ he did not want to go to this party. But he’d already said he would and Cordelia would know who his ‘date’ was either way. Besides, he wanted to make sure that Cordelia was safe at the party. And that he would get home before her, or at least at the same time so that he could try to control what she would see of their father.

“I’m sure,” Alastair said.

* * *

The party was already crowded and obnoxiously loud when they arrived, so at least not everyone looked their way as they walked in together. Charles was sitting on a couch with Ariadne and some of his friends and Alastair caught him looking, but didn’t focus on him long enough to really judge his reaction. His eyes were busy looking for someone else.

Cordelia was laughing at something James had just said and it was a moment before she scanned the room and noticed her brother. She looked from him to Thomas and back at him, then waved. Alastair wasn’t sure what reaction he was anticipating from across the room, but that wasn’t it. He wasn’t entirely certain what it meant. He didn’t wave back.

“Do you want a drink?” Thomas asked. “I can go get you one.”

“No,” Alastair said, a little quicker than he had meant for it to come out. “I don’t drink.”

Thomas looked a little surprised but didn’t say anything about it. “Alright, no drinks then.”

Alastair tore his eyes from his sister and turned to face Thomas. “You’re not going to get one for yourself?”

“I drove,” Thomas pointed out.

“I could drive you home after if you drink,” Alastair pointed out, even though he was relieved that Thomas hadn't just gotten a drink anyway.

Thomas shrugged. “I don’t need one.”

“Alright,” Alastair said. Secretly, he was glad that he didn't have to worry about Thomas getting drunk.

Alastair couldn't tell if there were really a lot of eyes on him or if he was just paranoid because of who he had shown up with, but he wanted to find somewhere less crowded, so he ducked into the next room only to find just as many people. He didn’t really care if Thomas followed him or not. It would be easier on him if he could lose him in the crowd but, unfortunately, Thomas had no problem keeping up.

Eventually, Alastair gave up on trying to lose him and found a couch to sit down on. There was a couple making out on the other end, so he sat as far away from them as he could. Thomas sat down next to him, sitting unfortunately close in order to try not to touch the pair on the other end of the couch... or, at least Alastair _hoped_ that was the reason.

The music was unbearably loud and Alastair couldn’t have picked more annoying music if he had tried, but at least it meant he probably wouldn’t be expected to hold much of a conversation.

He spent a good ten minutes pretending he couldn’t hear most of what Thomas said until Thomas shifted even closer on the couch and leaned over to speak close to his ear so he could be heard.

“Do you want to dance?”

Alastair's body went stiff and he shifted a little further from Thomas, even though most of his left leg was hanging off of the couch now. “I don’t dance."

Thomas glanced around like he thought Alastair’s objection was more to the audience than the dancing. “Okay, what do you want to do then?”

Alastair debated saying he wanted to keep just sitting there, but that wasn’t true.

“Leave,” Alastair deadpanned.

“So let’s leave then,” Thomas agreed.

“No,” Alastair said.

“But you want to,” Thomas pointed out.

“Because I hate everyone here,” Alastair insisted.

“Everyone?” Thomas asked skeptically.

“Almost everyone,” Alastair admitted as he thought about Cordelia, off somewhere with her horrible date.

Thomas smiled as if he thought Alastair was talking about him. Alastair wanted to correct him, but he knew that wouldn’t go well for his cover. He just needed to make it through tonight and then he could avoid Thomas Lightwood for the rest of his life.

Thomas opened his mouth to say something, but Alastair cut him off before he could.

“I’ll be back,” Alastair said. If he was lucky, Thomas would just wait on the couch and he could dodge him until it was time to leave.

He didn’t bother to wait for Thomas to respond. He just got up and headed into the next room, searching for Cordelia to check how her date was going and if James was treating her alright. When she wasn’t there, he moved on to the next room, but instead of finding Cordelia, he found Clive and Eustace.

“There you are!” Clive said as he came over to him.

For a moment, Alastair was relieved to have the distraction, but that relief was short-lived.

“Is it true that you’re here with Thomas Lightwood?” Eustace asked with a loud laugh.

Alastair didn’t know what to say but, apparently, his hesitation was answer enough.

“That’s hilarious,” Clive insisted. “I can’t believe he fell for it in front of all of everyone.”

“What’s the plan?” Eustace asked. “When are you going to drop the bomb?”

Alastair furrowed his brow in confusion as he asked, “Drop what bomb?”

“That’s it’s a joke, _duh_ ,” Clive insisted.

“It _is_ a joke right?” Eustace added.

That comment should have felt like a gift. It was a potential out from this whole thing. A way to step back in the closet and protect himself from what anyone might say. It was also the most infuriating thing anyone had said to him all month.

His sexuality was a joke to his friends. They assumed that he must have come with Thomas to make fun of him. They thought it would be a hilarious prank to pretend to be gay in order to embarrass and out someone else for actually being gay if they dared to admit it. The thought of someone doing the same to Alastair made him feel physically ill.

Alastair had known the kind of people he was befriending from the start. He had chosen to strike first and mock others before anyone could mock him. He was used to that, but this was something different. In trying to protect himself, instead, he had ended up with the kind of friends who thought outing someone was a joke and it made him nauseous even looking at them.

He pushed past Clive, shoving him with his shoulder on the way by. He could faintly hear Eustace saying something about chilling out, but he didn’t stick around to hear the rest of it. He couldn’t stand being here anymore and he wanted to get outside.

Apparently, he chose the wrong path out though because on his way to the door he felt eyes on him and looked up to see Charles. He could practically hear Charles’ voice in his head telling him that this wouldn’t be happening if no one knew that he liked men. Even worse than the knowing look on Charles’ face was Ariadne sitting in his lap and whispering something into his ear. Alastair knew their relationship was a sham but that didn’t make it any less irritating to watch their PDA when Charles refused to even be seen around him.

Alastair tore his eyes from them and shoved his way out the back door, not stopping until he was halfway across the yard.

He sat down in the grass, relieved to have the relative quiet and finally be away from everyone else. Maybe he could just stay here for the rest of the party and only find Thomas when it was time to leave.

* * *

When he heard quiet footsteps on the grass behind him a while later, for a moment Alastair was stupid enough to consider that it might be Charles coming to check on him. Instead, it was Thomas who sat down beside him.

Alastair glanced over at him for a second, then away again.

“Did something happen in there?” Thomas asked.

“No, nothing,” Alastair lied.

“Is everything alright?” Thomas questioned.

Everything was going horribly and Alastair would be hard-pressed to think of somewhere he would like to be less but, obviously, he wasn’t going to admit that.

“Fine,” he lied.

“You don’t like parties,” Thomas guessed. “They’re not your kind of thing.”

Alastair shrugged. It didn't take a genius to figure that out.

“So then why did you come here tonight?”

“You asked me,” Alastair pointed out.

"No, I'm pretty sure I remember you asking me," Thomas said with a laugh.

"You're the one who asked me about the party. It's not my fault I got to the point that you've been dancing around for a while," Alastair pointed out. He didn't want to talk any more about Thomas's strange crush on them or how they had ended up here together, so he changed the subject before Thomas could say anything else. "Anyway, I thought this was a date. Aren’t you supposed to tell me about yourself or something?”

“What do you want to know?” Thomas asked. He shifted to rest his forearms on his knees and Alastair couldn’t help but notice their legs were a little closer now. At least outside and without anyone else sitting near them, that felt a little less suffocating

“What’s your favourite movie?” Alastair asked.

“I don’t really have one,” Thomas admitted.

Alastair watched him for a moment to see if he was joking, then asked, “How?”

Thomas shrugged. “I don’t watch many movies. I can take them or leave them.”

“Maybe you’re just not watching the right kind of movies then,” Alastair said.

“What kind do you like?” Thomas asked.

“Old ones.”

Thomas looked surprised for a moment then smiled. “Really?”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“I wouldn’t have guessed it.” Thomas shrugged. “Maybe you can suggest some good ones for me some time.”

“Maybe,” Alastair agreed.

For a moment, Alastair had almost forgotten about Clive and Eustace and about Charles and Ariadne. For a moment, Thomas seemed shockingly bearable away from his friends. That was, until Thomas’s annoying cousin, Christopher, came outside and Thomas’s attention snapped up to him.

Alastair quickly slipped back into a scowl as he glared over at Christopher.

“Matthew drank too much,” Christopher said, focusing entirely on Thomas and acting as if Alastair wasn’t there. “Anna disappeared with some girl twenty minutes ago and I can’t find James or Charles.”

Thomas was on his feet immediately. “Where?”

Against his better judgment, Alastair got up too and followed them both inside. He had no desire to help Matthew, but Charles was who knew where. Alastair told himself he was just doing it to help Charles.

* * *

At least by the time Alastair and Thomas managed to drag Matthew outside and find where his brother had parked, Christopher had managed to find Charles and James and bring them outside.

Charles scowled when he saw the condition his brother was in. He said nothing to any of them as he opened the passenger door for Matthew. Alastair helped Thomas fumble Matthew into the car and was relieved to finally be rid of him.

“Thanks,” Thomas said as Alastair put as much space between his body and Thomas’s as he could. Charles was the one who had told him to pretend to date someone else, but he still felt weird being around both.

Alastair wasn’t really sure why _Thomas_ of all people was thanking _him_. It seemed like Matthew should be thanking them for dragging his useless ass to the car or Charles should be thanking Thomas for lugging Matthew out here. But Charles didn’t thank anyone.

Charles just glared at Thomas, then looked right through Alastair and Christopher as he barked, “You saw nothing.”

Against his better instincts, Alastair warned, “Don’t let him fall asleep on his back.”

Charles acted as if Alastair hadn’t even spoken as he walked around his car and got in. He didn’t even glance their way before he started his car and drove off.

* * *

The one advantage of Matthew drinking so much that he had to be half-carried to his car was that once Christopher’s sister reappeared a few minutes later, everyone seemed ready to leave.

Anna hadn’t drunk quite as much as Matthew, but it was obvious why her brother got in the driver’s seat of her car instead of her.

When James stopped at his own car, Thomas’s car was still further down the street since they had arrived later.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Alastair asked as James unlocked his car.

“Driving home,” James said as if Alastair was stupid for asking.

“Have you been drinking?” Alastair asked.

“I’m fine,” James said. “I barely drank anything and that was over an hour ago.”

“You’re not driving my sister home when you’ve been drinking,” Alastair insisted.

Cordelia looked mortified, but Alastair didn’t really care. She didn’t know what had led to their father’s accident and the amount James drank or how long ago it was didn’t matter to Alastair. James had been drinking and there was no way he was going to let Cordelia get into his car with him.

“I can drive us all,” Thomas said. “I haven’t had anything to drink and I can bring James back for his car tomorrow.”

“Alright,” James agreed.

“Fine,” Cordelia said, sounding much more annoyed than her date had.

* * *

Thomas stopped his car at the end of Alastair and Cordelia’s driveway, a big change from Charles’ usual strategy of stopping down the street and having Alastair walk the rest of the way.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” James said to Cordelia.

Alastair waited as they got out and watched them for a moment before he turned to look at Thomas.

“Should I walk you?” Thomas asked. “Or is it better for you if I stay in the car?”

The idea of being walked to the door horrified Alastair, but it also almost would have been nice to have the option if it weren’t for his parents… and if Charles was the one making the offer instead.

“Stay here,” Alastair told him.

“Alright,” Thomas said. Something in the way he was looking at him unnerved Alastair a little.

He felt like he should say something before getting out, so Alastair admitted, “You weren’t the worst person at that horrible party.”

Thomas beamed as if Alastair had paid him some huge compliment.

“I liked going with you too.”

“I don’t remember saying that I liked anything,” Alastair pointed out.

Thomas laughed, as if it was a joke.

Alastair checked to make sure that he wouldn’t be interrupting anything between his sister and James, then opened the passenger door.

“Good night, Alastair,” Thomas said.

“Good night,” Alastair said before heading up his driveway, leaving the door open behind him since James was on his way back to the car.

Alastair walked slowly, trying to stretch the distance of his driveway out to buy himself a little more time before he would have to face whatever might be waiting for him inside his house. He was a little relieved that Cordelia was waiting for him instead of just going in, so she wouldn’t have to face their father without him if Elias was still conscious.

He heard the car door close behind him and he expected to hear Thomas drive off, but he didn’t. When he made it to the door step, he looked back and saw Thomas and James watching like they were waiting to make sure he and Cordelia made it inside alright and somehow wouldn’t get lost within three steps of their front door. Charles dropped him off further away and he never stuck around to check if Alastair still remembered the way to his own home.

Alastair took a deep breath to brace himself, hoping that Thomas wouldn’t be able to tell what he was doing from a distance in the dark, and then he opened the door and led Cordelia inside.

He was relieved to find the inside dark and silent. He hoped it would stay that way.

“You head upstairs,” he told his sister. “I’m going to go check on Father.”

He left her at the foot of the stairs before she could say anything, but she headed upstairs without argument.

* * *

Alastair was relieved to finally be alone again and he was glad that the house was quiet. Sona had probably gone to bed a while ago and Alastair found Elias passed out in his office again. He cleaned up the bottles and made sure his father was resting at a safe angle, then headed upstairs to his room as quietly as he could.

Cordelia’s light was the only one still on, but thankfully her door remained closed as he headed past it and into his own room. He shut the door behind him and flopped down on his back on his bed, then pulled out his phone to read a message Charles had sent while he had been busy downstairs.

_Lightwood? Really?_

Alastair wasn’t all that thrilled with his choice either.

_It doesn’t matter. He means nothing to me. He’s just the annoying puppy that follows me around. He’s an easy target to string along so Cordelia is allowed to date._

_A girl would have been much easier._

Alastair wondered if pretending to be in a serious relationship with a girl was really that easy for Charles.

_He asked me._

Well, technically, Thomas had just asked him if he was going to the party, but still. Thomas had brought it up and he was the only one who seemed remotely interested in him at school.

_You opened up a door that would have been better closed when you said yes._

_No one knows about you. I can handle myself._

_You can do better than him._

_I already do. It’s after the party, do you still want to meet up?_

_Can’t. Have to keep an eye on Matthew._

Alastair sighed heavily as he set his phone down on his chest. He hadn’t thought it was possible to be more annoyed with Matthew Fairchild tonight.

After a long pause, he sent a message back.

_How about tomorrow?_

_I’m not sure. I have plans with Ariadne but I’ll let you know if I have any free time after._

Alastair sighed heavily, even before Charles’ follow up message.

_I have to go keep Matthew from getting himself caught._

_Good night. I love you._

_Good night._

Alastair wasn’t surprised Charles hadn’t sent an I love you back. He tended to avoid saying anything like that over text where someone might see it.

He set his phone aside and was debating getting up to turn his light off when there was a quiet knock on his door.

He got out of bed and opened the door, relieved that it was just Cordelia, but nervous nonetheless.

“What do you want?” He asked with a frown.

“Can I come in?” She asked.

Alastair didn’t answer, but he moved out of the way to let her in. She shut the door behind herself. That wasn’t a good sign.

He was expecting her to question him or tell him how horrified she was that he had taken a guy with him to the party, but Alastair was taken completely off guard when his sister hugged him. For a moment, he just stood there totally stiff, but then he awkwardly loosely wrapped his arms around her.

“You know I love you no matter what, right?” Cordelia asked as she pulled back. “It doesn’t matter to me who you like.”

“Oh.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Thomas seems nice,” she continued. “I wouldn’t have thought to picture him for you before, but I think he could be good for you.”

“I don’t know,” Alastair said as he sat down on his bed. “Tonight wasn’t a big deal.”

He wished he could have this conversation with her about the guy that he was _actually_ interested in.

“Okay,” Cordelia said. “But I think you should give him a chance. You two must at least like each other somewhat since you went together. You deserve to be happy. Maybe you can be happy with him.”

Alastair didn’t know what to say to that, so he shifted the conversation instead. “They both saw him when he picked me up. I don’t know what either of them thinks of it.”

“I don’t see how it should change anything about them caring about you,” she said. She got that stubborn look on her face that usually just irritated him as she added, “I have your back. If either of them tries to say anything negative about it, I’ll put an end to it.”

“Really?” Alastair said skeptically. “ _You_ think that you’d argue with Father over _anything?_ ”

The thought of it made him want to laugh. Cordelia always went along with whatever their father said as if she was rendered incapable of her own thought the instant he opened his mouth.

“I would if he was hurting you for being yourself,” she insisted.

Something about the determination in her voice made him think that maybe she was telling the truth. Maybe, this stressful night had been worth it, after all, to help her out. And at least he knew he had one family member who accepted him as he was.


	3. Chapter 3

Alastair checked his reflection in the mirror and cringed at what he saw. There was a bruise already forming along his left cheekbone. Thankfully, Cordelia was not home to see what had happened, but she wouldn’t be out with friends forever. If she saw the bruise, she would definitely ask about it and there was no way Alastair was letting her find out and have her illusions about their father come crashing down. That meant he only had one choice.

He still wasn’t sure what his mother thought of him being picked up for a date by Thomas the night before and he was terrified to find out, but he needed her help so he went and found her in her bedroom.

Sona frowned when she saw his face. She reached out to touch his cheek, then pulled her hand back as if she was afraid to make it hurt worse.

“Cordelia can’t see it,” Alastair said. His heart pounded in his chest as he waited for his mother’s reaction.

“Come in here,” Sona said and she turned to lead him into the washroom attached to her and Elias’s bedroom.

He followed and closed the door behind them, then sat down on the lid of the toilet and waited as she gathered the makeup she would need to make his bruise disappear.

“Show me how to do it,” Alastair said.

Sona worked gently, explaining her steps along the way, and Alastair tried to lock it into his memory so that he could repeat them on his own when the makeup faded. When she was finished, Sona paused a moment to check her work, then kissed him on the top of his head.

Alastair was overwhelmed by how relieved he was for that sign of affection. His mother hadn’t said anything about what she had found out about him, but she still loved him.

“Good as new,” she said as she took a step back to let him get up. They both knew it wasn’t true, but it was nice to pretend.

Alastair checked the mirror and admired his mother’s handiwork.

“Thank you.”

“Take the makeup with you,” she said. “Layla will wonder about it if you always come to my room for it.”

* * *

It was dark out by the time Charles finally texted.

_I’m finished with Ariadne_

For a moment, Alastair let himself pretend those words meant what he wanted them to mean and not just that his plans with her for the day had finally ended. His daydream was quickly interrupted though when he got another text.

_The house is empty. I can pick you up in less than 5 minutes_

Cordelia was home and their father was already passed out for the night so he figured it should be safe to go and finally get the time alone with Charles that Matthew Fairchild had so rudely robbed him of the previous night.

_I’ll be waiting_

Alastair double-checked his reflection to make sure the makeup was holding up then, as quietly as he could, he left his bedroom and headed down the hall. He paused halfway down the stairs and listened to make sure no one was near the front door before he tiptoed out of the house, softly closing the door behind him. He didn’t want anyone realizing he had left at all.

He was halfway down the driveway when his phone buzzed in his pocket. For a moment, he thought that Charles was messaging that he was waiting down the street, but when he checked his phone it said that he had a new text message from Thomas Lightwood.

Alastair had previews of messages turned off on his phone so that no one could accidentally see something that they shouldn’t when Charles messaged him. That meant that he couldn’t see what Thomas had sent and he didn’t bother checking. He just cleared the notification and stuck the phone back in his pocket as he headed down the sidewalk to wait for Charles.

* * *

At first, things went well.

On the way back to his house, Charles didn’t ask about how anyone had taken him coming out and he didn’t mention the party.

It wasn’t until they were in his room and Alastair moved to kiss him that Charles took a step back and said, “Seriously though? _Thomas Lightwood?_ ”

Alastair had thought they had already been through this last night.

“Seriously though? Ariadne Bridgestock?” Alastair countered against his better judgment. They’d had this argument before and he knew it wouldn’t go well to relive it.

“That’s different,” Charles said. “She means nothing to me.”

“And _he_ means nothing to me,” Alastair insisted. “Nothing happened. I don’t care about him. I’m in love with _you_.”

Alastair was relieved when Charles accepted the answer and kissed him hard instead of arguing.

* * *

Alastair should have known that finally getting real alone time where they weren’t crammed in Charles’ car in the middle of an abandoned parking lot was too good to be true. Everything was going great until there was the sound of a car in the driveway and Charles half fell/half jumped off of the bed in his rush to roll away from him and check the window.

“It’s Matthew,” Charles said as he peeked through the blinds.

“I’m going to kill him,” Alastair groaned as he reached to grab his shirt. He could not believe that Matthew was cock-blocking him for the second night in a row.

“You need to leave,” Charles said. “Out the window.”

“Excuse me?” Alastair asked. “Why can’t I just use the front door?”

“He’d see you,” Charles pointed out.

“So? We can say we were working on some partner project for school if you’re so worried,” Alastair said as he stood up and pulled his shirt back on.

“No,” Charles said, his voice bitter now. “Maybe we could if you hadn’t gone to the party with Lightwood. But you did.”

“So?” Alastair asked. “It’s not like you being seen with me means there’s anything going on between us. If anything, me going with Thomas makes it less likely for someone to think that there’s someone going on between me and anyone else.”

“Either way, I don’t want to be associated with your kind.”

Alastair took a step back like he had been slapped.

“ _My_ kind?” He asked in disbelief. “Last time I checked, my kind is your kind too.”

“I don’t need to advertise it,” Charles retorted and Alastair could practically hear the unspoken _unlike you_. “If you’re not going to leave, at least get in there so he doesn’t see you.”

Charles pointed at his closet and Alastair might have laughed at the irony if he wasn’t so furious.

“The closet?” Alastair asked. “Are you seriously asking me to hide in your closet? You know what, the window’s fine. I don’t want to be here anymore anyway.”

Part of him expected Charles to apologize or at least say something to try to soften the blows of the argument, but Charles just opened the window for him.

Alastair paused for a moment, searching for the right words to say to fix whatever this mess was, but nothing came to mind so he turned and climbed out of the window instead, relieved for the trellis that kept him from falling and breaking any bones.

* * *

Alastair crept along the side of the house mentally cursing Matthew, then he stopped abruptly and leaned against the wall when he reached the corner and saw that Matthew was still in the driveway and he wasn’t alone. James, Christopher, and Thomas were all getting out of the car behind him.

Thomas pulled his phone out of his pocket and for one horrible moment, Alastair was certain that Thomas was going to message him and make his phone vibrate loudly against the wall and that he was going to have to try to come up with some wild excuse for why he had been found lurking outside of Charles’ house in the dark.

“You’d better not be messaging Alastair again,” Matthew complained.

Thomas stuck his phone back in his pocket without having unlocked it. “I’m not. He still hasn’t answered me.”

“What did you expect out of somebody like him?” Matthew questioned. “I don’t understand what you see in him. At least James shows taste with the Carstairs he chose.”

Alastair resisted the urge to gag at the thought of Matthew finding his sister attractive.

“There’s more to him,” Thomas insisted, but Alastair didn’t get to hear what Thomas supposedly thought he knew about him before the group was inside the Fairchild house and out of hearing range.

Alastair waited longer than he needed to after the door closed to make sure that none of them would come back before he left his hiding spot and headed down the road. He stopped around the corner and sat down on the sidewalk to check his phone. The only new message was from Thomas still.

He wondered if Charles would message him or come give him a ride home, but several minutes passed and no message or car came.

Alastair could have messaged him and asked, but he was still annoyed and he wasn’t going to be the one to message first, especially when part of him was afraid that Charles would say no. So he stuck his phone back in his pocket and stood up to walk home in the dark.

* * *

When he finally made it home, Cordelia was in the living room reading a book and glanced up at the sound of the door.

“Where were you?” She asked.

“None of your business,” he dismissed her and headed toward the stairs.

“What happened to your face?”

Alastair froze in his tracks and his stomach dropped. The makeup must have smudged off while Charles was touching his face or while they were kissing. That meant the odds that Charles had also seen the bruise were pretty high, although he had not commented on it or asked about it. Maybe, if Alastair was lucky, Charles had been too busy practically pushing him out the window to even notice.

“I got in a fight,” he said, relieved that his coming home with the bruise at least meant she wouldn’t suspect that he had gotten it at home.

“With who?” She asked.

“Mind your own business,” he said coldly.

“Was it because of the party? Tell me who it was and I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” He snarled. “I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself without my little sister interfering.”

“I didn’t say-”

“Leave me alone,” Alastair said as he headed up the stairs again. “This doesn’t concern you.”

* * *

Alastair was relieved when she didn’t follow him upstairs and he was able to lie down without her crashing into his room to question him some more about his imaginary fight. Unfortunately, being alone also meant that he had nothing to distract him from thinking about his very real argument with Charles.

He laid there for a few minutes then grabbed the book off of his bedside table and tried reading, but he was too distracted and he ended up setting it back down again, frustrated after a few pages that he read but didn’t absorb.

He pulled his phone out again to check if Charles had messaged and he had somehow missed the vibration. Charles hadn’t, but Thomas’s message was still waiting unread. Alastair remembered Matthew complaining at the idea of Thomas messaging him and thought about how Matthew was the reason he was stuck in his room alone and annoyed for the second night in a row.

Alastair opened the message.

_How are things going with your family since they found out?_

He was surprised Thomas had bothered asking. Charles hadn’t, but then again, Charles wasn’t the one that had been there when they’d seen him leave for a date with a guy instead of the girl they had been anticipating.

_They’re going fine_

Alastair was a little embarrassed on Thomas’s behalf at how immediately his response came.

_How are you doing with them knowing?_

He had no interest in discussing anything about his parents with Thomas.

_I just said it’s going fine_

_That doesn’t necessarily mean you feel fine about it_. _I asked how you were feeling, not how things are going with them again_

_I’m perfect_

_Is this the part where I’m supposed to agree with you?_

Alastair probably should have ended the conversation at that shift in Thomas’s tone. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t. Maybe it was the thought of Matthew Fairchild being ignored while watching Thomas message him.

_I’ve been ignoring your compliments for years, what makes you think I would fish for one now?_

_I don’t see you ignoring them or telling me to shut up now either_

_Shut up, Thomas_

_Thomas? That’s new_

_I can’t call you puny anymore, can I?_

_I guess you’ll have to come up with something new_

_I’ll get back to you on that_

_I’ll eagerly await your decision_

Alastair hesitated at that for a moment.

_What are you up to now? Don’t you have something better to do than pester me?_

_Am I pestering you?_

Alastair couldn’t tell if he was asking out of concern or if he was flirting and trying to make him say that he didn’t really mind. He didn’t know which option was worse.

_You’re ignoring the question_

_So are you. And I’m hanging out with Kit and James and Matthew_

_That sounds horrible. You should probably pay attention to them_

_Christopher’s talking Henry’s ear off about the logistics of some invention idea I can’t follow and I bowed out of James and Matthew’s debate about where we should go after about 10 minutes ago_

_That all sounds incredibly dull and irritating_

_It’s not_

_So then why aren’t you paying attention to them? Am I so infinitely interesting to you?_

_Maybe_

That was definitely not the blunt response Alastair had been going for.

_I guess I must have to be considering the company you choose to keep_

_What are you doing?_

_Something much more interesting than messaging you_

_And what’s that?_

_Nothing_

_Oh, so nothing’s more interesting than me?_

Alastair wanted to send a snarky remark back, but he didn’t want to continue the conversation and he didn’t want to send anything that could be perceived as flirting so instead, he sent back _Good night, puny_

_Good night, Alastair_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: Two quick notes:  
>  1) Alastair has no idea that Matthew is bi during this chapter  
> 2) When it talks about football, I mean soccer, not American football**

“I can call Lucie and tell her that I’m walking to school with you instead today,” Cordelia offered on Monday morning.

“Why would you do that?” Alastair asked coldly.

“To be there for you,” she responded as if it was perfectly obvious. “If you’re worried about today-”

“I’m gay, not incapable of walking by myself,” he retorted.

“I know that,” she said. “I thought you might like the company for a change.”

“Not _your_ company,” he insisted. “Walk with Lucie. I don’t want to be seen with you.”

Suddenly starting walking to school with her would be like putting on a giant flashing sign that said no one but his little sister was willing to talk to him. Alastair didn’t need to draw any more attention to himself the first day back after the party. He just wanted to go to school and pretend like nothing had happened or changed.

Besides, it would be easier to wait around and kill time with Cordelia already gone. He didn’t want to have any extra time to kill before school.

* * *

Alastair’s plan of leaving extra late to avoid everyone worked out perfectly. He entered his first class as the bell rang. Thomas was already there, along with most of their classmates, so it was easy to sit at the open desk closest to the door and avoid him.

Thomas smiled and waved as he sat down. Alastair pretended he didn’t notice and leaned back in his chair in a forced pose that he hoped came across as casual and relaxed as he was going for.

He hadn’t messaged Thomas on Sunday and he was relieved when Thomas hadn’t tried to message him either. He didn’t want Thomas to get some false idea that they were dating now. That was part of why he was planning to put as much distance between himself and Thomas as possible today.

Charles hadn’t messaged him yesterday either and Alastair wasn’t sure whether he was relieved or annoyed. He had almost messaged him first a few times, but each time he pulled out his phone to do just that, he would remember the things Charles had said and the fact that he hadn’t even bothered to text to see if he got home without getting caught and he had put his phone away again.

Alastair was dreading the idea of running into Charles, even though it wasn’t like Charles spoke to him or acknowledged his existence at school, even in the one class they shared after lunch. Part of him hoped that he would see him and get some kind of hint of insight at how he was feeling after their argument. That was probably wishful thinking though. Besides, right now all he should be worrying about was getting through the rest of the day.

* * *

The cafeteria was the place Alastair was dreading the most, but he knew that he couldn’t just skip lunch. He had appearances to keep up, especially the appearance that he couldn’t care less what anyone might think or say about him, regardless of how untrue it was.

So when lunchtime came, he lingered at his locker for a few minutes to gather his nerve, then headed to the cafeteria, book in hand. He doubted he’d be able to eat if he got food, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d chosen to forgo eating at school. When their money troubles got particularly bad, Alastair would skip lunch and insist it was because he wasn’t hungry instead of admitting the fact that he wasn’t sure they could afford to feed Cordelia and him.

Clive and Eustace were already sitting at their usual table and Alastair _could_ go try to sit with them and see how they would react. That would be the best way to act as if nothing had changed, but he still remembered their laughter from the party and their assumption that he had gone with Thomas as a joke. He’d known the kind of people they were when he had befriended them. It was _why_ he had befriended them in the first place, but right now he was still far too irritated with them to sit with either.

So, instead, he forced himself to walk right past their table with his chin held high on his way over to an empty table against the wall opposite from the door he had entered through. When he reached it, he sat down and leaned back against the wall, then opened his book to pretend he was completely unaware of the room around him.

A text message ruined his concentration after a few seconds. He tried to ignore it, but he needed to know if it was Charles, so he pulled his phone out and shot his sister a glare across the cafeteria after he saw her name on his screen. She just stared back at him, so he opened her message.

_Are they who you got in a fight with?_

Alastair rolled his eyes to himself.

_No_

_Then who?_

_Still none of your business._

He set his phone down and went back to pretending to read, but his phone buzzed again.

_You can come sit with us_

Cordelia’s usual table was made up of Lucie, James, Matthew, Thomas, Christopher, and sometimes Anna Lightwood. Alastair couldn’t think of something he would want to do less than go pity sit at their table and put up with their attitudes about him.

_I’d rather die than sit with them_

_I can come sit with you then_

_No._

_You don’t have to sit by yourself_

_I’m aware. I want to sit by myself. I can’t stand the idea of sitting with you. Stop trying to weasel your way into my life and get your own_

When she didn’t respond again right away, he chanced a glance in her direction and saw that she looked hurt, but at least she was leaving him alone now. She was better off sitting with her friends anyway instead of coming to sit with him and he didn’t want her pity.

Alastair went back to his book, but he was rudely interrupted a couple of minutes later by the sound of someone setting their lunch down on his table.

When he glared up and saw that it was Thomas, he furrowed his brows some more for good measure.

“Go away,” he said with a dismissive wave of one hand, forcing his eyes to focus back down on the page in front of him.

“Why?”

“I’m reading,” Alastair insisted.

Thomas sat down across from him and his legs had become so long since his growth spurt that Alastair could feel one of Thomas’s knees brush against one of his own.

“You can read with me here,” Thomas said, despite how much of a distraction he was already proving to be.

“Did my sister put you up to this?” Alastair asked.

“No,” Thomas said, sounding a little confused. “Why would she have?”

“Apparently, she’s very concerned about me sitting alone,” Alastair said in a derisive tone. “As if I didn’t choose it for myself.”

Alastair had no idea what had happened on the page he was on, but he turned the page for good measure anyway so that Thomas wouldn’t think he was paying too much attention to him. Maybe, if Alastair was really lucky he would take the hint and stop talking.

“She didn’t mention anything to me,” Thomas said. “Maybe, I just wanted to sit with you.”

Alastair resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m reading,” he said again, a little more insistently this time.

“And that’s why you’re sitting here?” Thomas asked.

“Yes,” Alastair lied as he turned another page.

“You can’t read at your usual table?”

“No,” he said. “Clive and Eustace are too loud.”

“I’ve seen you read at their table,” Thomas pointed out.

Alastair didn’t understand why he had felt the need to ask the question if he already knew the answer.

“You pay far too much attention to me,” Alastair told him.

“You sound like Matthew,” Thomas said.

“Oh, so you pay far too much attention to him too?” Alastair asked, playing dumb and trying to shift the conversation.

“You know what I meant,” Thomas said. “So why are you really sitting here?”

Alastair turned another page and considered for a moment, eyes still focused solely on the book, then he admitted dismissively, “They’re dicks.”

“But you already knew that,” Thomas countered.

Alastair glanced away from his book and arched a brow at him.

“So what’s different today?” Thomas pressed on.

“They made a joke,” Alastair said. “I didn’t find it particularly funny.”

Thomas frowned. “About you?”

“No,” Alastair said with a shrug. “About you.”

Thomas looked surprised. “So you were standing up for me,” he said with a grin that Alastair had to roll his eyes at.

“You wish,” he retorted, then set his book down on the table, leaving it splayed open to mark his page, and leaned halfway across the table as he added, “There’s only one person I care enough about to stand up for at my own expense and it definitely isn’t you.”

“So then why are you sitting over here avoiding your friends?”

“I outed myself to the entire school and they assumed it must be a joke,” Alastair said. “My sexuality is not a joke. And I’m not interested in spending time with anyone who thinks I’d out yours for one.”

“You didn’t out me,” Thomas pointed out. “And it’s not like I’ve been subtle about my sexuality.”

Alastair arched a brow as he asked, “You mean with the following me around and making up any excuse you could think of to talk to me, no matter how many times your friends dragged you away like I could poison you with one look?”

“Maybe,” Thomas admitted.

Alastair got a small sense of satisfaction as Thomas looked down, eyes leaving his gaze.

“But that’s not what I meant,” Thomas added, risking looking up again now. “I meant: isn’t it strange that I never contribute a single thing when my friends talk about women and that when asked I always say none have caught my eye?”

Alastair laughed. He had shrugged off conversations about women in the same way, except he had done it to try to hide his sexuality.

“Is that so strange with the limited options around here?” He asked.

Alastair felt eyes on him and realized only half the width of the table separated him from Thomas so he leaned back as he looked around to find both Fairchild’s eyes on him. Matthew’s glare was less subtle than his brother’s.

Alastair quickly wiped the amusement from his face and hardened his features.

“Maybe that’s not so strange on its own,” Thomas said, apparently oblivious to the attention their table was getting. “But what a coincidence that when I’m asked what kind of woman I’m interested in I say ‘none’, yet when Matthew goes on and on about his thing for blonds, I tell him that I don’t understand his preference when dark hair is so much more striking.”

“You do realize I’m blond, don’t you?” Alastair pointed out, hoping to get under his skin and watch him squirm.

“You weren’t when I first noticed you,” Thomas said, his cheeks turning faintly pink.

_Oh_.

There was a lot Alastair couldn’t change about his appearance to blend in with his white classmates, but his hair was the one part of him he could make lighter to try to not stick out quite as much in a school full of people that had welcomed him by taunting him for every difference they could find.

“I thought my sister was Matthew’s type,” Alastair said to try to change the subject. It was only after the words had left his mouth that he realized that he had made a mistake and brought up something that he only knew from what he had overheard outside of Charles’ house.

Thomas didn’t seem to notice though.

“I don’t think so,” Thomas said. “And even if she was, it’s not like he would pursue her when he knows how James feels.”

“Yes, _how James feels_ ,” Alastair said in a tone of disgust. “How unfortunate.”

“Do you really dislike him as much as you claim to?” Thomas asked.

“Do you really want the answer to that question?” Alastair countered. “Maybe you should run along back to your table. Everything would be so much easier and everyone would get along so much better if you stuck with your own group.”

“I don’t scare off that easily,” Thomas said.

“Who says I’m trying to scare you off?” Alastair asked.

Thomas studied his face for a moment and Alastair silently prayed that the makeup was still covering up the bruise on his cheek.

“Do I really annoy you as much as you pretend I do?” Thomas asked.

Yes would have been the easier answer. It was what he should have said. Maybe Thomas would have been hurt and finally left him alone. Certainly, things would be less complicated if he did.

Instead, he said, “Away from your friends, you're admittedly almost tolerable.”

Thomas smiled brightly.

“I said _almost_ tolerable,” Alastair insisted, already regretting what he had admitted. “Don’t prove me wrong already.”

“You’re pretty tolerable away from your friends too,” Thomas said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alastair asked.

“You’re different around them,” Thomas said. “Not yourself.”

“Who’s to say that I’m not the most real me around them and not myself around you without them?” Alastair asked.

“If that was true, you wouldn’t be offended that they thought you were only pretending to want to spend time with me,” Thomas pointed out.

Alastair felt a pit of guilt in his stomach. Wasn’t that exactly what he was doing?

He picked his book up off of the table and leaned back against the wall again.

“I’m reading, Lightwood,” he said. “If you plan on staying here, I suggest you stop talking.”

To Alastair’s surprise, Thomas actually did stay quiet. Alastair couldn’t concentrate anyway, but he pretended until the warning bell rang and he could leave for his next class.

* * *

Alastair’s next class was chemistry. The one class he shared with Charles which was inconveniently also the class taught by Charles’ father. Charles never so much as glanced in his direction in class, lest his father somehow see it and magically figure everything out.

Alastair didn’t understand what Charles was so worried about though. Henry Fairchild was so flighty that it wouldn’t surprise Alastair if Charles could skip a week of classes before his father noticed.

In his rush to get away from Thomas, Alastair somehow ended up one of the first ones to the classroom.

Charles was one of the last in the room and he only had two spots to choose between, but much to Alastair’s surprise, he headed for the spot at the back of the room beside him instead of the one at the very front. The tables only sat two, so there was a gap between their table and the next.

Alastair stared at him dumbly, unsure what the protocol was now that Charles had approached him in class. Charles stared straight forward as if he was totally unaware that Alastair was there. Alastair followed his lead and turned to the front of the room, waiting for class to start and wondering what this meant. Was this Charles sitting with him to make up for the comment he had made about not wanting to be associated with someone like him? He felt his anger dissipate a little at the idea.

After class, Charles packed his things up slowly. If anyone noticed, they probably assumed that he was staying back to talk to his father about something. Alastair took his time gathering his things too.

When there was no one else in the area around them, Charles asked, “Are you still in a mood about Saturday?“

“I don’t know,” Alastair said because he didn’t really care for the term _in a mood about_ _Saturday_ and he’d had an entire class to consider, but he still wasn’t entirely certain if he was still annoyed after Charles had sat with him or not.

Charles glanced around to make sure that no one was close enough to hear still, then said, “Let’s just forget about it.”

“Maybe,” Alastair said. The idea of forgetting about it did sound appealing, especially if things were different than they had been on Saturday.

Charles waited a moment, but when Alastair didn’t say anything else, he said, “We can talk about it later.”

“Okay,” Alastair said.

“I have debate team after school,” Charles said. “So tonight or tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

Charles grabbed his last textbook off of the table and headed for the door. Alastair took a deep breath and then left for his next class.

* * *

After school, Alastair had another text message from Cordelia.

_I’m going to study with Lucie so you don’t need to wait for me. Not that you care_

She was annoyed with him, but that was a good thing if it meant she would give him space, especially when it meant that she wasn’t going home so he could avoid going home for a while himself. Still, he sent back a message to be safe.

_Message me when you know what time you’re coming home_

He was on his way to go waste some time in the school library when Anna Lightwood stepped right into his path.

“Are you coming to the meeting?” She asked.

“Meeting?” He echoed.

“The GSA is meeting now,” she said. “If you want to check it out.”

Alastair vaguely wondered if Thomas had put her up to inviting him.

“Not a chance,” he told her.

She looked confused by his reaction.

“Speaking from experience, it can be pretty helpful,” she said. “Especially when you’re first out.”

Charles’ words from the other night echoed in his head. _I don’t need to advertise it._

Alastair had never even _planned_ on being out. It had just kind of happened and only for his sister’s benefit. He wasn’t interested in making a big deal of his sexuality and he certainly wasn’t looking to discuss it with a room full of people he wouldn’t talk to otherwise.

“I’m busy,” Alastair lied.

“Alright,” she said. “Well, it’s a standing offer. If you’re ever not busy.”

He didn’t foresee that ever happening.

* * *

When Alastair finally made it to the library, he avoided the librarian even more than usual. He didn’t so much as glance in Jem’s direction on his way to a table in the back corner of the library.

Jem might be his cousin, but Alastair already didn’t want anything to do with on a normal day. He didn’t want to know if Jem had heard about his sexuality in the hallways or from his parents. The idea of Jem trying to offer unsolicited ‘help’ or advice made his skin crawl.

Before Alastair had been born, Jem had been the son that his father had never had. Now, he was probably the son that Elias wished he had gotten instead. Alastair didn’t want anything to do with him from that alone, but Jem thinking his father was some incredible hero only made Alastair trust him even less.

Fortunately, Jem left him alone today instead of trying to strike up a conversation he clearly wasn’t interested in.

Not so fortunately, James and Lucie’s father showed up and sat on Jem’s desk 10 minutes later and it instantly became impossible for Alastair to concentrate on his homework anymore.

Will Herondale was one of the English teachers at the school and Alastair was lucky enough to not be stuck in his class, but unfortunately, he still had to put up with him in the library far more often than could possibly be necessary. Will was Jem’s best friend and that meant that instead of telling him to stop being so unbearably loud and chatty in the library where people were only supposed to whisper, Jem shirked his librarian duties and joined in.

Alastair glared at them both across the library, but neither one of them took the hint. After a few minutes of trying and failing to keep working, Alastair slammed his binder closed and huffed out of the library to go find somewhere, anywhere else to finish his homework and waste some time.

* * *

There was absolutely no way he was going to go kill time in the GSA meeting, so he headed outside and was forced to make do at the top of the bleachers where he had a nice vantage point to see Charles’ car and be able to tell when he left debate club.

It took a moment before he realized that Thomas was a part of the team practicing because _of_ _course,_ he was. Alastair hadn’t even realized that he was still on the football team. He had assumed that he would have quit years ago, considering he was way smaller than all of the other players and had lived on the bench because of it. That certainly wasn’t the case anymore. He was one of the biggest players on the team and he played a lot better than Alastair remembered he used to back when he used to bother Thomas about being just the water boy far too small to be let on the field for more than a few minutes per game.

When Thomas caught him watching the practice and smiled, Alastair turned his attention back to his homework. He finished it all before the practice ended, but Charles’ car was still there and he still didn’t want to go home and face his father, so he packed his things up and settled for pretending to sleep on the bleachers until his phone buzzed in his pocket as the team was cleaning up.

He sat up to check his message. It was from Charles. Debate club had ended at the same time as the practice.

_Can we do tomorrow?_

Alastair turned toward the parking lot. Charles was holding the passenger door of his car open for Ariadne.

_Okay_

Alastair resisted the urge to sigh as he got up off of the bleachers.

“Hey,” Thomas said, coming over to him, visibly covered in sweat.

“I see they let you on the field now,” Alastair said. “Or is that only at practices?”

“Come to a game and maybe you’ll find out,” Thomas suggested.

“I think I’m fine living with the mystery,” Alastair countered.

“You prefer watching the practices?” Thomas asked.

“I wasn’t here to watch any practice,” Alastair insisted. “I was here because Jem and his friend were acting like children in the library and somehow they are louder and more annoying than an entire sports team. I just needed somewhere quieter to finish my homework.”

“It looks like you’re finished now,” Thomas pointed out.

“So?” Alastair asked.

“So what are you doing now?” Thomas asked.

“Currently?” Alastair asked. “Wondering how it’s possible for one person to sweat so much.”

Thomas laughed. “Do you want to get coffee or something?”

“With you?”

“That is why I’m asking, yes,” Thomas said. “Babs has the car so we’d have to walk, but if you want to…”

Alastair considered for a long moment.

“Fine, but this doesn’t mean anything,” he said. “It’s just coffee.”

“Alright.”

“And you have to shower first,” Alastair added.

Thomas laughed. “I think I can handle that.”

“I’ll wait here,” Alastair said.

“I figured,” Thomas said with an amused look on his face.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Alastair said.

“Like what?” Thomas asked.

“Just go shower before I change my mind.”

* * *

Alastair waited back on the bleachers until Thomas came back a few minutes later, back out of his uniform and with his hair still wet.

“Ready?” Thomas asked.

“Yes,” Alastair said as he got back up off of the bleachers.

They walked in silence at first. Alastair found it a little strange walking with him in broad daylight.

“So, your sister has the car,” Alastair said.

“Yes,” Thomas said. “And?”

“Nothing,” Alastair said. “I’m just surprised you’re allowed to walk all by yourself.”

When Thomas had been younger, he hadn’t been able to walk from his classroom to the front of the school without one of his sisters by his side.

“I’m not a child anymore,” Thomas said. “And she and Eugenia always worried way more than they needed to anyway.”

“Clearly,” Alastair said.

“I don’t think they could imagine giving me the space you give your sister,” Thomas said. “Even with me perfectly healthy for years, they still worry way too much.”

“You think I don’t worry about my sister?” Alastair asked.

“Not in the same way that my sisters worry about me,” Thomas said. “Since we were young, they’ve acted like it’s been their responsibility to keep me safe.”

Alastair didn’t correct him with the fact that he knew exactly what that responsibility felt like.

“And that bothers you?” He asked.

“It used to,” Thomas said. “A lot. It was smothering.”

“Cordelia acts like it’s a personal attack that I don’t involve her in every piece of my life like when we were children,” Alastair said. “Maybe siblings are designed to always be dissatisfied with the amount of attention they get from each other, one way or the other.”

“Maybe,” Thomas agreed.

“Does your sister still call you Tommy?” Alastair asked.

“Why?” Thomas asked. “Is that the new name you’ve come up with to call me?”

“You wish,” Alastair said. “I just wondered if that ended with your growth spurt.”

“It did not,” Thomas said as he pulled the door of the coffee shop open to let Alastair enter first. For some reason, Alastair thought of Charles holding the car door open for Ariadne.

Even more jolting than Thomas holding the door was him paying for both of their coffees.

“I can afford my own coffee,” Alastair insisted as they sat down at one of the tall tables.

“I know,” Thomas said. “I wanted to buy it. If it concerns you, you can pay next time.”

“Ah, so this is a scheme to get me to agree to a next time,” Alastair said.

“Or, you can take the free coffee with no obligation to see me again,” Thomas added.

Alastair almost said _That’s all it takes to get rid of you? Letting you pay for one coffee?_ but something held him back.

They were silent for a moment, then Alastair asked, “Did you send your cousin to talk to me?”

Thomas’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Kit? No. What did he say?”

“Not him,” Alastair said. “Never mind.”

It was a relief to know that Anna hadn’t approached him at her cousin’s request at least. Alastair still had no intention of attending any meetings, but it was nice to know that she probably approached anyone who had recently come out at school with the same offer.

“Anna?” Thomas asked. “What did she want?”

“Nothing that matters,” Alastair said.

“Alright,” Thomas said, although he sounded a little confused.

“You always call him Kit,” Alastair pointed out.

“And you call your cousin Jem,” Thomas countered. “It’s a nickname.”

“Everyone calls him Jem,” Alastair said. “It’s not like I’m close with him.”

“You’re not?”

“We don’t have much to talk about,” Alastair said. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it was much easier than telling the truth.

“I can’t imagine not having cousins that I’m close to,” Thomas said. “Especially your only cousin.”

Alastair shrugged. “We used to travel a lot. It didn’t make for a lot of time to get close to anyone or stay that way.”

“You don’t anymore though,” Thomas said. “Maybe it’s worth the effort now.”

Alastair couldn’t tell if Thomas was talking about Jem anymore or not. He didn’t have to find out though because his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and found a message from Cordelia.

_I’ll be home in half an hour_

“I have to go,” Alastair said. “My mother needs me at home.”

“Alright,” Thomas said and he stood up from the table with his coffee cup in hand. “I’ll walk you.”

“You already drove me home Friday,” Alastair pointed out.

“I don’t mind,” Thomas said.

Alastair didn’t want Thomas coming to his house again so he said, “I’ll walk you this time.”

“Alright,” Thomas said with a smile. “I can live with that.”

On the way out, Alastair was the one who held the door instead, if only so Thomas wouldn’t hold it for him again.

* * *

The walk back to Thomas’s place didn’t take long. Alastair stopped at the end of the driveway, silently praying that Thomas remembered this wasn’t a date and wouldn’t try anything.

Thomas stopped too and turned to face Alastair.

“Thanks for walking me.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Alastair said.

Suddenly, Thomas’s cheeks flushed pink and for a moment Alastair didn’t realize what was happening. Then, he turned to face the house and saw both of Thomas’s parents squished together, peering out one of the windows at them. He was surprised that they were smiling instead of glaring at them.

“Well, I guess now we’re even on parents watching us,” Alastair said.

“Sorry,” Thomas said. “I know this was supposed to be just coffee, but they, uh- know about Friday, so…”

_Perfect_. Of course, Thomas had told his parents about the date Alastair had pretended to go on with him. At least they had taken it better than Alastair’s own, but now Thomas’s parents expected some kind of relationship to come of this and he had definitely made a mistake by walking Thomas home.

That was a whole new layer of guilt that Alastair hadn’t even considered before. He had known this had the potential to go very wrong for Thomas, but he hadn’t considered Thomas’s family ever being a part of things. This felt like a clear sign that he should stop spending time with Thomas before anyone else got too much of the wrong idea.

Alastair glanced at his watch. “I really need to go… And it looks like you should probably get inside anyway.”

“Alright,” Thomas said. “This was fun. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

Alastair had barely gotten the word out before he left, not bothering to wait for Thomas to go inside first.


	5. Chapter 5

Thomas showed up at Alastair’s lunch table again the next day. Apparently, he hadn’t taken the hint from Alastair choosing a desk as far from him as possible again in class that morning.

Alastair didn’t let himself look up from his book this time.

“I’m just reading, not talking to you if you sit there again,” Alastair insisted. “You’re not going to distract me today.”

“Alright,” Thomas agreed.

Unfortunately, he didn’t get up and move to his usual table because of it. He was proving difficult to get rid of easily. Which was very unfortunate when Alastair had no interest in becoming like Charles and maintaining a fake relationship outside of his real one. He especially had no intention of being even worse than Charles with Ariadne and leading on someone who had no idea he was not single or interested.

Thomas was silent for a few minutes, then he asked, “You know you have to stop reading to eat, right?”

“Says who?” Alastair asked.

He kept the book in front of his face with one hand and grabbed his apple with the other, taking a big bite without his eyes leaving the page. It was a struggle to maintain his focus while he could feel Thomas’s eyes on him.

“Is this because of my parents yesterday?” Thomas asked after a few minutes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alastair said.

He didn’t point out that he had already ignored Thomas with the same strategy at lunch yesterday, before he’d found out that Thomas’s parents thought there was something going on between them. That wouldn’t help him get Thomas to leave him alone for his own good.

Thomas tried to talk to him a few more times during lunch but eventually, he gave up when Alastair pretended as if he hadn’t heard a sound.

* * *

After school, Alastair walked to Charles’ house to meet him like Charles had messaged him to. Alastair was surprised they were meeting there so early after school, but Charles had insisted that his parents would still be working and Matthew would be busy with James.

Alastair hesitated at the door for a moment, unsure whether to knock, but he didn’t have to decide because Charles must have been watching for him and opened the door to let him inside.

“So,” Alastair said. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Saturday,” Charles said. “You left angry.”

“When you threw me out,” Alastair pointed out.

“Because Matthew came home,” Charles defended. “I was annoyed about that too. I didn’t know he’d be back so soon.”

“So you made me use the window.”

“This has always been a secret,” Charles pointed out. “I don’t know why that’s suddenly a surprise.”

It hadn’t always been a secret that he had needed to climb out of windows for, but Alastair didn’t point that out. He didn’t want to add to the argument.

“You know that’s not the part I left angry about anyway,” Alastair said. “It’s what you said about ‘my kind’.”

“I was worried about getting caught,” Charles said. “I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying. I was worried about what other people would say if they knew.”

Alastair considered. He knew how terrified Charles was of anyone finding out about his sexuality. He supposed it was different if Charles was worried about that being said about himself than if it was what he thought of Alastair.

“And you’re willing to associate with me and my kind now?” Alastair asked.

“I invited you here, didn’t I?” Charles asked. “It was a stupid conversation. Let’s just pretend it never happened. It wouldn’t have it weren’t for Matthew. He’s the real problem.”

“Maybe, you’re right,” Alastair agreed. “He’d better not come home early again today too.”

“If he does, I’m going to have to convince my parents to have the locks changed on him,” Charles insisted.

Alastair laughed. “Good luck with that.”

* * *

When Alastair got home, Cordelia came into his room and sat down on the edge of his bed.

“Where were you?” She asked.

“None of your business,” he said.

“Were you with Thomas?” She asked.

Alastair shrugged noncommittally. It would be easier if she thought he was with Thomas than if she kept asking him questions, but he didn’t want to lie and have her figure out later that Thomas was somewhere else during the time they supposedly spent together.

“It seems like things are going well between the two of you,” she commented.

“Nothing’s going on between us,” Alastair argued.

“You’ve been sitting together at lunch every day since the party,” she pointed out.

“It’s been two days,” Alastair countered. “And he’s the one that’s been coming to sit with me.”

“So you don’t like him?” She asked in a confused tone.

He shrugged and said, “I don’t know.”

He figured that was the easiest answer, given what she knew.

“What does that mean?” Cordelia asked. When he didn’t say anything she added, “I don’t understand why you won’t talk to me about anything, especially when I know now. It’s not like you have to hide things from me anymore.”

“Maybe, I just don’t want to talk to you,” he insisted.

“Fine then,” she said.

It was bittersweet having her give up and leave the room. He was glad she hadn’t found anything out, but he hated that he had to keep so many secrets from her still, especially when she was certain that there was no possible reason he could need to keep anything secret from her anymore.

* * *

The next day at lunch, Alastair expected Thomas to show up again. He had the perfect scowl for the occasion ready to go at a moment’s notice, but when it was ten minutes into lunch and Thomas still hadn’t materialized at his table, Alastair started to suspect that he was not going to show up there at all.

He glanced over at his sister’s table, expecting to see Thomas sitting with his friends, but instead he saw only Cordelia, Lucie, James, Anna, and Matthew there. Thomas and Christopher were both mysteriously absent.

Alastair tried not to let himself wonder what the cousins were up to without the other half of their group, but his mind kept wandering back to it. He knew he could message Thomas and probably get an answer, but that would be counterproductive to the signal he was trying to send that he was not interested in Thomas at all. He didn’t need Thomas knowing that he had noticed his absence and reading far too much into it.

Alastair only became properly distracted from the mystery at hand when he got a message from Charles.

_Meet at class early?_

Alastair smiled faintly to himself as he sent a message back.

_See you there_

Things were going much better since their talk the evening before and Alastair was relieved that he actually felt excited at the idea of seeing Charles again instead of nervous the way that he had usually felt lately.

* * *

Alastair left the cafeteria five minutes before the warning bell and headed to the chemistry classroom. On the way there, he noticed Christopher by himself, leaning against a locker in the hallway. He found it a little strange that Thomas wasn’t with him, but didn’t stop to think too much about it.

That was until he reached the door of his classroom and found Thomas with a fire extinguisher in hand standing in front of a mess of foam where he had clearly just put out a fire on the tabletop. There was absolutely no way that his cousin didn’t have something to do with this. It wouldn’t even be the first time that Christopher Lightwood had set part of the school on fire by accident and Alastair didn’t understand why he had left instead of helping put the fire out.

Charles’ father was still somewhere else for his lunch break, but at the smell of smoke, Ragnor Fell rushed over from his classroom across the hall, half shoving past Alastair on his way.

“Oh, no! Not another fire. Where is Christopher Lightwood? I know he started this. There is no way I am letting him get away with anything less than expulsion this time. If he keeps sneaking in here, he’s going to be the death of us all.”

Thomas shrugged. “I don’t know where Kit is, but he had nothing to do with this.”

“You’re telling me that the science lab was on fire _again_ and you expect me to believe Christopher Lightwood had nothing to do with it? Where are you hiding him? Is he behind you?”

Ragnor peered around Thomas’s side but didn’t fight Christopher standing there, so then he began bending down to look beneath tables as if he expected to find Christopher curled up in a ball with a pack of matches in his hand under one of them.

“He’s not in here,” Alastair said because he knew that much was true.

Ragnor ignored him and checked the last few tables for good measure, then looked back at Thomas accusatorially.

“You expect me to believe that you started this fire all by yourself?”

“That’s what happened,” Thomas lied. “So yes.”

Charles showed up in the doorway behind Alastair then and opened his mouth as if to say something to him, then noticed the scene behind Alastair and shut his mouth, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“If you started it, then how?” Ragnor asked.

Thomas shrugged. “I was pouring things together to see what would happen and I guess the Bunsen burner was on.”

“You _guess?_ ” Ragnor asked. “Was the fire not evidence enough that it was on?”

“It’s off now,” Thomas defended. “And the fire’s out.”

Ragnor turned to look over at Alastair. “You. Did you see anyone else in here?”

“I only got here when the fire was out,” Alastair said. “I only saw Thomas here.”

Ragnor narrowed his eyes at Alastair as if trying to judge if he was lying too, then whipped his attention back around on Thomas.

“You had better tell your cousin that he is _very_ lucky that I can’t prove he was here,” he said. “As for you, you just landed yourself in detention after school. And you had better pray I can’t find anything to tie your cousin to this or else he’ll be getting a punishment far worse than that.”

With that, Ragnor turned and headed back out of the room. On his way past Charles, he grumbled, “I advise you tell your father to start locking his classroom door.”

Once Ragnor was gone, Charles hesitated in the doorway for a moment longer, then glanced between Thomas and Alastair before turning and leaving as if he had somewhere else he needed to be in the last few minutes before the bell rang now that they couldn’t have their moment of privacy after all.

Alastair watched him go, then walked a few steps into the classroom.

“There’s no way you started that fire,” Alastair said.

“Didn’t I?” Thomas asked.

“I saw your cousin in the hallway,” Alastair pointed out. “And even if I hadn’t, this has his name written all over it.”

Thomas glanced over at the door as if making sure Ragnor wasn’t lurking just outside the doorway, waiting for an admission of guilt.

“Henry barely got him out of being expelled last time,” Thomas said, seeming to decide he could trust Alastair with this information now that he knew Alastair could have placed Christopher at the scene of the crime and didn’t. “Technically, Kit isn’t supposed to be using the lab or anything inside of it outside of class time.”

“Technically,” Alastair repeated. “You mean because he has a habit of lighting things on fire by accident?”

“The fires weren’t even that big,” Thomas insisted. “And we had this one under control much faster this time.”

“If he wasn’t supposed to be here, then why were you covering for him?” Alastair asked.

“I’m the one who helped sneak him in here,” Thomas said. “Besides, one detention isn’t a big deal. It’s nothing compared to the trouble he’d be in.”

Alastair studied his face for a moment, then turned and headed over to his table and sat down.

“You have quite the mess to clean up there,” Alastair pointed out.

“It would be quicker if you’d help,” Thomas countered.

Alastair shrugged. “It wasn’t my fire. You started it. You clean up the mess you made putting it out.”

* * *

Alastair wasn’t sure what compelled him to head to the detention room after school. Maybe, it was the fact that he knew Thomas had nothing to do with the fire that he would be stuck there for the next two hours over. Maybe, it was because he could understand Thomas’s motives. If it had been Cordelia instead of Christopher, he would have done the same thing. Maybe, he was just bored and looking for something to do.

He paused halfway down the hallway from the room and sent a message to Thomas.

_Did she take attendance yet?_

Thomas’s response came a moment later.

_Yes, why?_

Alastair hadn’t been to detention lately, but he’d been given it many times for the pranks he and his friends used to play together. He knew that the teacher in charge took attendance at the start and didn’t check again to make sure everyone was still there later. As long as she didn’t see you leave, she wouldn’t realize that you were gone. Alastair had gotten out of many detentions early thanks to that information.

_When I distract her, you leave_

_What?_

Alastair didn’t bother answering, just stuck his phone back in his pocket, then headed over to the detention room, knocking on the open door frame on his way inside.

He could feel Thomas’s eyes on him, but he ignored the feeling, pretending he had no idea that Thomas was there.

Alastair purposely moved to lean against the whiteboard so that the teacher would be forced to turn her back on the students to face him as he asked as many questions as he could think of about an assignment in her class.

As she answered, she chanced a glance over her shoulder and saw that Thomas was two-thirds of the way across the classroom. Alastair quickly shifted his focus back to her, nodding along at whatever she was saying and pretending like he deeply cared about all of the information she was providing him.

“Thank you, it all makes so much more sense now,” Alastair said when she finally stopped talking, then he headed out the door and looked both ways for Thomas before finding him leaning against a locker a little way down the hallway.

“How did you know that would work?” Thomas asked as Alastair walked over to him.

“Did you really think I sat through the entire detention every time I got it?” Alastair asked.

Thomas was walking at his side now.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess so. Are you sure this will work?”

“She never noticed I was missing once,” Alastair said. “It should be fine.”

“Thanks,” Thomas said.

Alastair glanced at him for a moment, then looked back where he was walking. “You’re welcome.”

They only made it one more hallway before they spotted James, Matthew, and Christopher huddled together, talking at James’ locker at the end of the hallway.

It quickly became abundantly clear that they didn’t hear anyone coming, since as they got closer, Alastair could hear them debating the best way to free Thomas from detention.

“-if we just start a fire-“

“No, Kit, you’ll for sure be expelled if we get caught.”

“Maybe, we should just pull the fire alarm. They can’t prove it was u-”

“I already got him out,” Alastair said.

All three of their heads whipped around to look at Alastair, then turned to focus on Thomas. Alastair almost laughed at their matching looks of surprise.

“How?” Christopher asked.

“Without having to start any more fires, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Alastair said and turned to leave now that he had delivered Thomas safely to his nuisances.

He hardly got five steps before he heard Thomas behind him.

“Wait.”

Alastair stopped where he was and turned back around to face him, but said nothing.

“What are you doing now?” Thomas asked. “You could hang out with us.”

Alastair glanced at Thomas’s friends, waiting for them to object, but even Matthew seemed too thrown off by Alastair breaking Thomas out of detention to say anything against Thomas’s offer.

Alastair turned his gaze back over to Thomas and lied, “I’m busy.”

“Okay,” Thomas said. “Well, thanks. Again.”

Alastair said nothing as he turned back around and left.

* * *

Alastair spent the rest of the school week eating his lunches in the library to avoid risking Thomas trying to sit with him again. By Friday, it was starting to seem like his plan was really working.

When the weekend came, he hadn’t spoken to Thomas or been asked about him by anyone since he had left him behind in the hallway with his friends.

Maybe, if Alastair was lucky, this whole mess could just be done. Things were different now, but it was the closest to normal he had felt since he had asked Thomas to that party.

* * *

On Saturday morning, Alastair decided that his roots were becoming too noticeable and he needed to do something about them. He still had more bleach at home, but when he pulled out the spare box he hesitated and set it back down again.

A few minutes later, he knocked on Cordelia’s bedroom door. When she opened it, she seemed surprised that he was the one standing there.

“I need your help with something,” he said.

“You do?” She sounded skeptical. “With what?”

“My hair,” he said.

“You always bleach your own hair,” she pointed out.

“I want your help this time,” he said. “And I’m not bleaching it. I want you to make it look like my natural hair colour.” At the surprised look on her face, he added, “I’m sick of all of the maintenance every time it grows too much.”

That was part of it, but it wasn’t the only reason. Alastair had already given up on pretending to be straight and on pretending to find Clive and Eustace’s jokes funny. He ignored everyone and stuck to himself as much as he could when Thomas would leave him alone. There wasn’t really much point in bleaching it to try to blend in anymore. And maybe, just _maybe,_ something Thomas had said about his original hair colour had stuck in his head.

He didn’t care that Thomas was attracted to his natural hair colour. He had no desire to change his hair to make Thomas even more attracted to him. But the fact that Thomas had liked his natural hair colour stuck with him after all of the fear he’d used to have about what might be said if he ever went back to it.

“Do you already have the dye?” Cordelia asked.

“I’m going to get some,” he said. “There are so many shades of even black hair dye. You looked at my undyed hair a lot more than I could look at it on my own head. I need you to come to help me choose the right shade… Unless you’re busy.”

“I’m not busy,” Cordelia said a little too quickly. “We can go now.”

* * *

Alastair had made up the need for her to help choose the shade as an excuse to include her and ask her to go with him for something that he wouldn’t have to lie to her throughout, but he did end up grateful for her opinion anyway.

When they got back to the house, Cordelia headed back to her room, seeming to assume that her role was done.

Alastair followed her and leaned against the doorway again.

“It’s hard to see to put it in my own hair properly,” he said, even though any time she had offered to help him with the bleach, he had turned her down and insisted that he was perfectly capable of doing it himself. “I don’t want to mess it up and leave blond patches. I need you to do it.”

For a moment, he thought she might say no, but then she smiled and said, “Okay.”

* * *

Ten minutes later, Alastair was sitting on the stool Cordelia had dragged into the washroom while she carefully applied the dye to his hair.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Alastair asked.

“I read the instructions,” Cordelia pointed out. “And you already told me how. You are aware that you’re the one who asked me to do this, aren’t you?”

“You are aware that I’m the one who has to walk around with the results of your handiwork, aren’t you?” He countered.

“Well if you’d hold still, it would turn out fine,” she said. “Why? Are you worried I’m planning to get my revenge for how horrible you’ve been acting toward me lately?”

“I haven’t been that bad,” he said. “And you’d better not be.”

“If I was going to get revenge, I’d do it in a less permanent way,” she assured him. “And you’ve gotten annoyed every time I’ve spoken to you or offered to spend time with you. I’m surprised you can stand to be in the room with your little sister for long enough to have me help with this.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“You have your own friends, why do you want to spend time with me at school anyway?” He asked finally.

“I know school already wasn’t easy for you,” she said. “And now you don’t even spend time with any of your friends. Do you even talk to them anymore?”

Alastair considered brushing her off but instead, he said, “I’m sick of pretending that I like them just because I’d rather they bug anyone else instead of me.”

“But you like sitting with Thomas now?” She asked.

Alastair considered for a long moment. “It’s not terrible.”

“Then why have you been avoiding the lunchroom the last few days?” She asked.

“He has his own friends to sit with,” Alastair pointed out. “I’m making his choice easier. He can’t ignore them forever anyway.”

“You could come sit with us,” Cordelia said. “Then he wouldn’t have to choose and you wouldn’t have to be alone.”

“Everyone there hates me,” Alastair insisted. “Maybe you and Thomas want me there, but I refuse to humiliate myself sitting with a bunch of people who can’t stand me.”

It was more complicated than that, but when it came down to it, that was the main point. Maybe, it would have been safe to sit with Thomas as part of a group, if it weren’t for the group that Thomas had situated himself in.

“Let me come sit with you then,” Cordelia said. Before he could reject her, she quickly added, “Just for one day. Monday. And if you hate it, then I’ll leave you alone and stop asking.”

“Fine,” Alastair gave in. “Monday. _If_ you don’t ask me anything else about Thomas before then.”

“Okay,” Cordelia agreed. “But you know, it wouldn’t kill you to answer just one question about him every once in a while. I already know you like him. It doesn’t make me think any differently about you.”

Alastair took a deep breath, then changed the subject. “It’s not like you talk to me about James.”

“You don’t like him,” Cordelia pointed out. “I didn’t think you’d want me talking to you about him.”

“I might dislike him, but you don’t,” Alastair said. “Is he treating you well?”

“He is,” Cordelia said and he could see her smiling to herself in the mirror. “Very well.”

“You’re still seeing each other, then?” He asked.

“We are,” she said. “He asked me on another date.”

“When?”

“Thursday.”

Alastair glanced at his sister’s face in the mirror. She looked nervous about something.

“What is it?” He asked.

“I haven’t told Father yet,” she said. “But with you and Thomas-” she cut herself off abruptly as if she was afraid she had accidentally stumbled too close to a question about them. “I just hope he still lets me go. Since you’re dating now.”

“I’ll make sure he does,” Alastair promised.


	6. Chapter 6

Cordelia kept to her word and didn’t ask any more questions about Thomas and Alastair, so Monday at lunchtime, Alastair walked with her to the cafeteria instead of by himself to the back corner of the library.

They sat together at a table at the back of the cafeteria and Cordelia must have warned Lucie beforehand because she stayed at her own table with her brother and their friends.

Thomas, on the other hand, headed straight over to them when he entered the cafeteria.

“If you ask me any questions about Thomas in front of him, I will get up and leave,” Alastair warned as he watched him approach.

Cordelia was already sitting across from Alastair, so Thomas sat down next to him instead. It was going to be harder to ignore him with Cordelia at the table.

“I like your hair,” Thomas said with a smile as he sat down. That morning, when Alastair had walked into his first class and Thomas had first seen dark hair, he had somehow grinned even wider than he was smiling now. “The blond looked good too, but I like this even better.”

“I figured you would,” Alastair said. “But it’s not for you.”

“I didn’t say it was,” Thomas said.

“It’s for me,” Alastair told him.

“Good,” Thomas said. “You should like it.”

“Cordelia helped with it,” Alastair said to try to drag her into the conversation and take some of the focus off of him.

She turned to Thomas and said, “I did a good job, didn’t I? Even despite Alastair’s complete lack of faith in me.”

“You definitely did a good job,” Thomas agreed.

“I asked you to dye it,” Alastair said indignantly as he turned to his sister. “I must have had some faith in you.”

“How many times did you ask me if I knew what I was doing after watching me read the instructions and reexplaining them yourself?” Cordelia asked.

Thomas laughed.

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t brought up the idea of you getting your revenge on me _while already dyeing my hair_ I wouldn’t have been so worried that you were going to do it wrong,” Alastair insisted. “You’re lucky I’d even consider asking you again.”

“But you would?” Cordelia asked.

“If I need to dye my hair again, maybe,” Alastair admitted. “Anyway…”

He was hoping his sister would change the topic, but Thomas did instead.

“No book today?” He asked. “Is it a special occasion?”

“Layla begged me to sit with her today, so I figured I may as well pay attention to her for one day,” Alastair said.

Cordelia and Thomas both looked at him with smiles that he didn’t think his words had warranted.

“What?” He asked.

“Not everyone calls her Layla,” Thomas pointed out and Alastair was reminded of their conversation over coffee when he had insisted that he only called his cousin “Jem” because that was what everyone called him, not because he felt particularly close to him in any way.

Alastair hadn’t even realized that he had used her nickname until Thomas pointed it out.

“I’m not used to you calling me that in front of anyone,” Cordelia commented.

“Don’t get used to it,” he warned her.

Thomas laughed. “Now I just need to know what you secretly call him.”

Alastair smirked smugly. “Well, the joke’s on you because she just calls me my name. I don’t have a secret Tommy equivalent for you to dig up.”

“He’s telling the truth,” Cordelia confirmed.

“Does that mean I have to come up with my own nickname for you?” Thomas asked.

“I can’t imagine that you can choose one that I won’t hate,” Alastair said.

“No?” Thomas asked. “I thought you seemed particularly fond of puny.”

Clearly, Alastair had chosen the wrong moment to take a sip of water because he practically choked on it. He glared at Thomas for that, then retorted, “Too bad that’s already what I call you.”

“Oh, but it fits you so much better now,” Thomas insisted.

“I still think I’ll pass on it,” Alastair said. “You should probably just stick to my name.”

“If you say so,” Thomas agreed.

* * *

After school, Alastair headed toward the library, even though he knew it was always particularly noisy after school when Will Herondale no longer had to teach and could spend the rest of his evening chattering away at Jem. There was no way Alastair could do his homework outside during Thomas’s practice again, especially after he had messed up and acted far too friendly at lunch when he couldn’t be outright rude to Thomas in front of Cordelia. His options were so slim he was beginning to think he should get detention intentionally to have somewhere quiet to work.

He was halfway to the library when he ran into Anna again. She looked surprised to see him there.

“Are you looking for the meeting?” She asked.

Alastair considered for a moment. He hadn’t been looking for it, but he needed somewhere to kill some time and avoid going home. Maybe, it wouldn’t be as bad as the library. Plus, he knew Thomas wouldn’t be there because Thomas’s team practiced on Mondays.

Besides, if the meeting was truly horrible he could always leave and at least then he would know not to even consider next time. And it wasn’t like being seen there could do much harm to his reputation when he was already out at school and everyone in the meeting would be the kind of people who willingly went to those meetings, not the kind of people who would be likely to mock him for showing up himself.

“Sure,” he said.

“It’s this way,” Anna said.

Alastair followed her to a classroom at the end of the hall, then stopped when she headed off to go sit next to someone who was already there. He was surprised by how many people there were in the room. He had expected a sad little room with maybe three other people.

Magnus Bane, the teacher who helped run the GSA, came over and started talking to Alastair, welcoming him and talking about the different resources they had, but Alastair didn’t hear much of what he was saying. He was far too distracted by the fact that the person Anna was sitting and laughing with was Matthew Fairchild.

Alastair double-checked the rest of the room to make sure that Thomas wasn’t there after all, but it was just Matthew and Anna, none of Matthew’s other friends.

What was Matthew doing there? Was Matthew gay? Or was he just there to support Anna? Matthew had been known to hook up with girls, but then again Charles was known to be a long-term relationship with Ariadne and he was still gay.

Alastair watched Matthew with Anna, trying to figure out what was going on. Maybe, he was gay and just trying to hide it with the string of girls? But then why would he be here? Maybe, he was bisexual? But if he was here and not straight, wouldn’t that mean that Charles probably would know, especially considering they went to the same school? None of this made sense.

“I’m bisexual,” Matthew said with a glare. “There. You can stop staring now.”

Alastair glared at him, then turned his gaze back at Magnus as he puzzled that over in his mind.

He wanted to ask if Matthew was out to his family, but he couldn’t think of any possible reason why he would need to ask and it wasn’t like Matthew was likely to want to answer one of his questions, so Alastair bit his tongue.

Alastair didn’t talk at all during the meeting, but he switched on and off between listening and wondering about Matthew.

Did Charles know he was bi? Did Charles know he was coming to these meetings?

Alastair figured the odds that Charles knew about Matthew were pretty high, but it didn’t seem like Matthew knew about Charles. Alastair would have to now if Matthew knew about Charles, right?

But if Charles knew about Matthew, then did he try to convince his brother to hide his sexuality and to stop coming here? Or was Matthew some strange exception in Charles’ mind?

Was it fine with Charles that his brother out but somehow it was different for Charles himself? And if Charles knew Matthew was bisexual, then why the hell had he made Alastair sneak out the window instead of letting him use the front door? Would it really have been so horrible for his bisexual brother to find out he wasn’t straight?

Had it been because the other three were there? No, it couldn’t have been. Charles had said it was Matthew when he looked out the window. He’d started telling Alastair he needed to go out the window before he had even known the others were there. So then why? If Matthew was bisexual, wouldn’t he understand his brother being gay?

Alastair was no less confused when the meeting ended, but there was no way that he could ask Matthew about any of it.

* * *

It was already dark out by the time Charles picked Alastair up later that night.

Charles started driving as soon as he was in the car.

As they drove in silence, Alastair went back and forth in his head about whether he should ask Charles about what he had found out about Matthew. Finally, he decided not to on the off chance that Charles didn’t know. Alastair didn’t like Matthew, but that didn’t mean he was going to be the one to out him to his brother. Besides, he didn’t want to relive the window argument all over again.

“Your hair’s different,” Charles said finally.

“It is,” Alastair agreed.

“I liked the blond better,” Charles said and Alastair tried not to react. Seemingly as an afterthought, Charles added, “This is alright too I guess.”

“I was sick of bleaching it,” Alastair explained.

“Is the dye going to get all over my hands if I touch it?” Charles asked.

“No,” Alastair said. “Cordelia rinsed it out well and it’s been a couple of days.”

“Good,” Charles said. “Then I can live with it.”

* * *

When Alastair came home and Cordelia knocked on his door a few minutes later, he was expecting her to once again ask him about where he had been.

Instead, she asked, “Was having lunch with me so terrible today?”

“No,” Alastair admitted. “But that still doesn’t mean I want to sit with you every day.”

“Does it really have to be every day or none of the days?” Cordelia asked. “Can’t we just sit together sometimes? And the rest of the days you can hide off wherever it is you go or sit by yourself… or with whoever else.”

Alastair considered for a moment. He supposed it wasn’t the most ridiculous request she had ever made.

“Alright,” he said. “We can sit together sometimes. When I feel like it”

* * *

The next morning, Alastair was on the way out of his first class when Thomas asked, “Hey, have you read the book for next week yet?”

Alastair was tempted to keep walking but instead, he stopped and leaned against a locker, turning to face Thomas. “I read it unrelated to class, but haven’t reread it. I know it well though. Why?”

“I haven’t been able to get through it,” Thomas said.

“You’re far too intelligent to convincingly pretend you need to copy my homework if that’s where this is going,” Alastair said.

“No, that’s not it,” Thomas said. “I know you like classic books-”

“Because you pay too much attention to me,” Alastair interjected.

“Or maybe other people pay too little attention,” Thomas countered. “Anyway, are you planning to reread it?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Alastair said. “How would that help you?”

“Did you like it when you read it?”

“Yes,” Alastair said. “But, again, how does that help you?”

Thomas shrugged. “I thought it might be more interesting if we read it together. You could point things out and help me understand what the big fuss is about.”

Alastair couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Apparently, Thomas had not had enough of watching Alastair read and not talk to him and now he wanted to schedule plans to do the same.

He considered for a moment, then said, “Alright, I’ll help you. But only Thursday works.”

Thomas beamed. “Thursday it is.”

“I’ll message you the time later,” he said. He still had to check with Cordelia to find out what time her date with James would be.

“Okay.”

“And this is strictly as friends,” Alastair added. “It’s only friendly homework help. This doesn’t mean anything and it is certainly not a date.”

“I can handle that,” Thomas said.

“Say it,” Alastair said because he needed to know for sure that Thomas understood and there would be no miscommunication.

“Say what?” Thomas asked as his brow furrowed in confusion.

“That you know Thursday’s not a date,” Alastair insisted.

“Okay,” Thomas said, looking confused by the request. “Thursday’s not a date.”

* * *

“I have a date on Thursday and so does Cordelia,” Alastair said that night at the dinner table.

For a moment, it seemed like no one knew what to say, then Sona asked, “Is it…?”

“With Thomas Lightwood?” Alastair asked. “Yes. And a date’s a date, so that means Cordelia can go on hers too.”

Elias took another swig of his wine but said nothing.

Sona turned her attention to Cordelia as she asked, “And yours is…?”

“With James again,” Cordelia beamed.

“And where is he taking you for it?” Sona asked.

At least there was one advantage to none of his family members aside from Cordelia having any idea what to say to him about the idea of him dating a guy. The rest of the dinner was spent gushing on and on about James and his plans for his and Cordelia’s date. Alastair didn’t have to answer a single question.

* * *

On Thursday night, Thomas picked Alastair up ten minutes after James had arrived for Cordelia. This time, Alastair had learned from last time and was waiting outside already. Thomas must have learned too because he stayed in the car instead of getting out to walk him.

Unfortunately, Cordelia and James’ date started too late for the library to still be open. That meant that they either had to read at Thomas’s place or Alastair’s. There was no way that Alastair was having Thomas over and risking him finding out anything about his father, so Thomas’s house it was.

Even more unfortunately, Thomas’s entire family was there when they arrived at his house. Even Eugenia was there, despite the fact that she didn’t actually live with them anymore.

Thomas’s parents tried to start up a conversation with Alastair, but Thomas grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him gently away as he called over his shoulder, “We’ll be in the kitchen.”

The kitchen didn’t last long. By the time that Alastair got his book out of his bag, each of Thomas’s parents had popped their heads in ‘just checking if they needed anything’ and Barbara had decided it was of the utmost important that she loaded the dishes into the dishwasher at that exact moment, despite the fact that they had already been sitting in the sink and she had been nowhere around when Thomas and Alastair had first sat down.

“Do you understand the smothering now?” Thomas asked when she left.

“I’m getting an idea, yes,” Alastair said.

“They’re just going to keep making excuses to come in here,” Thomas said with a sigh. “Maybe we should go upstairs.”

Upstairs sounded mildly alarming to Alastair, but at least it meant they wouldn’t constantly be observed by Thomas’s family, who probably still thought they were dating. All the others constantly looking in were starting to make Alastair wonder why he had come and if he didn’t love his sister so much, he might have considered leaving.

“Upstairs sounds better,” Alastair agreed.

Thomas got up from the table and ducked his head into the living room for a moment as he told his family, “We’re going upstairs.” Much to Alastair’s surprise, none of them seemed at all worried about that.

Thomas led Alastair upstairs and into his room, then closed the door behind them.

Alastair arched a brow at him.

“It’s so they won’t keep making excuses to walk by and look at you,” Thomas said. “We can open it if you want.”

“Closed is fine,” Alastair told him.

“Alright,” Thomas said and he flopped down on top of the covers of his bed, positioning the pillows behind his back to prop himself up a little.

Alastair just stared at him. How in the world had working on homework and absolutely not being on a date so quickly ended up with him in Thomas Lightwood’s bedroom with Thomas lying on his bed waiting for him to join him?

Thomas must have noticed Alastair’s hesitation because he said, “I just figured the bed was the comfiest, but if you want to sit somewhere else…”

Alastair didn’t know why he was the one reading way too far into things now.

“It’s fine,” he said as he walked over to the bed and propped the pillows on the other side up so he could recline next to Thomas. “But we’re just reading.”

Thomas laughed. “That’s what you’re here for. I know.”

“Where did you leave off anyway?” Alastair asked.

“The start of chapter 12,” Thomas told him.

Alastair searched through his book for a moment, then started reading aloud at the start of chapter 12, effectively putting an end to any other conversation.

At first, Thomas followed along in his own book as Alastair read, but as Alastair paused to make comments about what was going on, Thomas set the book down on his chest, propped open to mark his page. When Alastair went back to reading, he didn’t pick his book back up again and just laid there listening to him.

Alastair could feel Thomas’s eyes on him after a while and he did his best to ignore it but, eventually, he finally set his book down and turned his head to face Thomas.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he said.

“Like what?” Thomas asked.

Alastair looked at him for a moment longer, searching for the words to explain it, but the best he could come up with was dreamily and he was absolutely _not_ going to say that, so he turned away and picked up his book again.

“You read some,” he said. “I’m not doing all of the work for you. I read the last three chapters and you don’t even have your book open.”

It took a moment for Thomas to find the page they were on, but then he began reading aloud and Alastair relaxed as Thomas’s eyes remained on his book instead of Alastair.

Thomas had a nice reading voice. Alastair followed along at first in his own book, but after a couple of chapters, he set his book down on his chest and closed his eyes, just listening to the sound of Thomas reading.

At the end of the chapter, Thomas stopped reading and Alastair was about to open his eyes to see why when Thomas asked, “Are you asleep?”

“No,” Alastair said as he opened his eyes. “I was listening.”

“Who’s doing all the work and who doesn’t even have their book open now?” Thomas challenged.

“Is that your way of telling me you want me to read more again?” Alastair asked.

“Well, now that you’re offering,” Thomas said with a smile.

Alastair rolled his eyes and found the page they were on, then started reading out loud again.

They took turns reading a few more chapters, then Thomas set his book aside.

“I don’t know about you,” he said. “But I could use a break from reading.”

“I have no problem continuing, but what did you have in mind?” Alastair asked skeptically.

“Maybe you can educate me while you’re here,” Thomas said.

“Educate you?” Alastair asked, arching one brow at him.

“I’ve heard I haven’t been watching the right kind of movies,” Thomas said. “What’s your favourite movie? We can watch it.”

“Laugh and I will leave and never speak to you again,” Alastair warned, remembering how it had gone when he had tried to watch it with Charles.

“Why would I laugh?” Thomas asked.

“Just promise or I’m not telling you,” Alastair insisted.

“I promise,” Thomas said. “I won’t laugh. Even if it’s something truly embarrassing.”

Alastair studied his face for a moment to make sure he wasn’t joking, then admitted, “Le Voyage dans la Lune. It’s only seventeen minutes long.”

“I’ve never heard of it,” Thomas said. “Why would I laugh at that?”

“Because of all the movies there are in the world and with all of the special effects they have now, I want to watch a movie from 1902,” Alastair said.

“You already told me you like old movies,” Thomas pointed out. “I didn’t laugh then either.”

Thomas grabbed his laptop and propped it up on his stomach as he searched for it online.

When he found it, Alastair insisted, “You have to think about what it must have been like at the time while you watch. We’re so used to all of the special effects and CGI now and we don’t even think about them, but think about how magical it must have been when they first watched it and even the idea of a picture moving was practically unheard of.”

Thomas looked at him for a long moment and Alastair didn’t know what it meant, so he reached over Thomas’s arm to press play.

“Watch,” Alastair told him when Thomas kept looking at him.

Thomas turned to watch the movie and Alastair spent half of the seventeen minutes watching the movie and the other half watching Thomas’s face for his reactions.

“So?” Alastair asked the moment the movie was over.

When he had shown Charles, Charles had made a move during the movie and when Alastair had wanted to keep watching instead, Charles had called it a boring waste of time.

“I liked it,” Thomas said. “I see what you meant about how it much have been like magic. And I like that it was short and not dragged out like movies are now.”

Alastair smiled a little. “Most old movies are a lot shorter.”

“I guess you’ll have to suggest some other ones for me to watch sometime then,” Thomas said as he set his laptop aside.

“Maybe I will,” Alastair said.

“I already learned a lot about you from that one,” Thomas said. “What you like about it is as interesting as the movie itself.”

“And you like learning things about me. I’ve noticed,” Alastair said. “From the number of things you notice and remember about me. You’re at an unfair advantage though. I don’t pay that much attention to you.”

“You’ve noticed and remembered plenty about me,” Thomas pointed out.

“Obvious things maybe,” Alastair said.

“So then what do you want to know about me?” Thomas asked.

“I don’t know,” Alastair said. “Tell me something not obvious. Something I don’t already know about you.”

Thomas considered for a moment, then said, “I want to get a tattoo.”

“A particular tattoo or just any?” Alastair asked.

“A compass rose,” Thomas said. “I have it all planned out.”

Alastair turned his head to watch Thomas’s face for a moment, then he asked, “Where?”

Thomas pushed the sleeve up on the arm closer to Alastair up and bent his arm up to show his forearm to Alastair.

Alastair reached out, brushing his fingers across a patch of skin and asked, “Here?”

Thomas set his other hand over Alastair’s and gently guided Alastair’s fingers as he said, “I want it to start here and then end over here.”

Thomas let go of his hand, but Alastair kept tracing his fingers over the area Thomas had shown him as he tried to picture it. He absently noticed the hair on Thomas’s arm was standing on end and paused his fingers’ movement.

Alastair let his fingers linger there as he turned to look at Thomas and said, “I think it would look good there.”

As he spoke, Thomas’s eyes started off meeting Alastair’s eyes but they slowly shifted to watch his mouth. Alastair realized a moment too late what was happening when Thomas leaned closer and it was far too late to dodge gracefully so instead, Alastair jerked violently backward and then sat up, his hand leaving Thomas’s arm altogether.

Part of him wanted to laugh as he was reminded of when Charles had half fallen off of the bed in his rush to split apart as Matthew had come home, but most of him felt nauseous as he was reminded of Charles. The person he was actually dating. Yet, somehow he had ended up in Thomas’s bed almost getting kissed by him.

Thomas sat up too, looking more than a little concerned by Alastair’s abrupt reaction.

“Sorry,” Thomas said. “I thought-”

Alastair pulled out his phone and checked the time, but it didn’t register in his mind so he immediately forgot what it had said.

“It’s getting late,” Alastair guessed. “I need to get home. I should have already left. Good night.”

He didn’t wait for an answer before he headed for the door.

“Alastair,” Thomas said as he opened the door. “I drove you, remember? I can drive you home.”

Alastair waved a hand back at him over his shoulder dismissively. “I’ll walk. I could use the air anyway.”

* * *

Five minutes later, Alastair was a few roads away, sitting on the sidewalk in the dark as he called Charles.

Much to his relief, Charles picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Are you busy?” Alastair asked, choosing to forgo pleasantries altogether.

“No,” Charles said. “Why?”

“I want to see you,” Alastair said.

“Where are you?” Charles asked.

Alastair checked the nearest street signs and told him.

Five minutes later, Charles’ car stopped in front of him.

Alastair got up off of the sidewalk and he was hardly inside the car before he was kissing Charles. It was dark out and he had been sitting here for five minutes without seeing any sign of anyone so he figured it was safe and he felt a very urgent need to kiss Charles after what had happened at Thomas’s place.

As soon as Charles pulled away, he started driving, as if he was worried that some invisible person might recognize them if they stuck around for too long.

“What was that for?” Charles asked.

“I had a weird day,” Alastair said. “And I missed you.”

He knew that he couldn’t tell Charles about Thomas almost kissing him. Alastair had stopped it and he wasn’t going to let anything happen between them so it wasn’t like it mattered anyway. He had no interest in cheating on Charles, but he knew that Charles would make a big deal out of it and worry about it if he told him. It was better for everyone involved if Charles didn’t find out. Besides, Charles was the one who had told him to pretend to date someone else. He must have anticipated that this was a possibility.

Besides, all of Alastair’s reassurances that nothing had happened were still true. He hadn’t let anything happen. And he wouldn’t.

Part of him wanted to tell Charles anyway, but he didn’t have the energy for another argument. Tonight, he just wanted to be close to Charles.

* * *

The next morning, Alastair once again sat as far away as he could from Thomas in his first class. This time, Alastair didn’t even let himself look at him, so when Thomas came over to his desk, Alastair almost jumped out of his chair from surprise.

Thomas set a book down on the desk gently as Alastair stared up at him.

“You, uh, forgot this in your rush last night,” Thomas said. “That’s all.”

“Oh,” Alastair said. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Thomas said. He looked like he was considering saying something else but instead, he just nodded at Alastair, then walked back over to his own desk.

Alastair was relieved that he only had to make it through the rest of the day avoiding Thomas and then he could have the entire weekend away from any chance of running into him.

* * *

Saturday, Alastair was in the living room practicing piano when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. When he pulled it out, he was surprised to see that Charles was calling. Charles almost never called, especially during the day

Alastair glanced over at his mother by the window, but he was afraid if he waited until he was in his room to answer that he would miss the call, so he accepted the call and walked as he spoke.

“Hello,” he said. “Give me a second to get somewhere private.”

“Alright,” Charles said with a strange edge to his voice.

Alastair closed his bedroom door behind him and settled down on his bed then said, “Okay, I’m in my room. What’s going on?”

“Ariadne ended things with me,” Charles said.

“Oh,” Alastair said because he had not been anticipating that and he had no idea how he was supposed to respond to that. He had a feeling that Charles was not waiting for him to express his tremendous relief at the end of Charles’ public relationship, but that was the feeling he was overwhelmed with.

“Can you believe that?” Charles asked incredulously. “Apparently, she doesn’t want to keep pretending anymore. How selfish is that?”

Once again, Alastair wasn’t sure what to say to that. He was well aware that the fact that he was no longer pretending to be straight was a sore point for Charles.

“Maybe, it will be for the best,” Alastair said. “Everyone still knows that you were with her for two years. I don’t think anyone is going to suspect anything about you after that and now you don’t have to pretend anymore either.”

Personally, Alastair thought it was a dream come true that he wouldn’t have to watch Charles with his girlfriend anymore and they could just be with each other.

“She’d better not be planning on telling anyone that she likes women,” Charles said. “How is that going to make me look?”

Ariadne’s sexuality was not news to Alastair. Charles had told him when he had first started dating her and Alastair had begged him not to. Charles had insisted that it was fine because he wasn’t interested in women and she wasn’t interested in men. Eventually, Alastair had given up on arguing.

“People will probably assume you didn’t know,” Alastair said.

“Don’t you think they’ll wonder how I didn’t know?” Charles demanded. “I can’t believe she’s going to put me in this situation. She knew what this was supposed to be when she agreed to our relationship.”

Alastair wondered if Charles felt as exasperated with him that the terms of their relationship weren’t exactly the same as they had been when the relationship had started two years ago.

“I guess she thought it was what she wanted, but then she couldn’t handle it anymore,” Alastair said. “There’s not really much you can do about that.”

“If she’s doing this for some girl, I’m going to be furious,” Charles said, completely ignoring what Alastair had said. “She easily could have kept whoever it is secret and not thrown away our agreement.”

Charles ranted to Alastair for almost half an hour. Alastair wasn’t sure what to say and he was running out of ways to try to sound sympathetic and hide his relief, but he quickly discovered that Charles wasn’t all that concerned about what he was saying anyway. As long as Alastair made sounds to show he was listening every once in a while, he didn’t need to say anything.

When Charles finally finished, Alastair asked, “Do you want me to come over or meet you somewhere?”

“No,” Charles said. “No, I’m busy. I probably will be all weekend. I just needed to vent.”

“Okay,” Alastair said. “If you change your mind, let me know.”

As he hung up, Alastair wondered if Charles had ever ranted like that about him to Ariadne.


	7. Chapter 7

On Sunday, Alastair tried to finish the book he had begun rereading at Thomas’s place, but he barely made it half a chapter further before he gave up and set the book down with a dramatic groan. It reminded him far too much about what had happened on Thursday

He couldn’t focus on the words and every time he tried to force his concentration, his mind wandered back to the almost kiss. And every time his mind wandered back to the almost kiss, he felt guilty about it all over again.

Why had he let things get so close to a kiss? How had he ignored all the warning signs that it was coming? What was he going to do if Charles found out? Was Thomas getting just as distracted when he went back to try to finish the book? Did Alastair’s embarrassing dodge replay in his mind the entire time?

Alastair picked the book back up, not wanting to think about what Thomas must think about that maneuver. He got two pages further before he sighed and set it aside again.

* * *

On Monday morning, the news about Charles’ and Ariadne’s breakup was all over the school. Alastair ignored most of the talk, but he heard enough to know that the rumours were getting who had decided to end things with who backward. Alastair was almost certain that Charles must have been the one to spread that idea to try to spin the story to suit his interests, although he found the strategy unnecessary himself.

Alastair was a little worried about Charles with everyone talking about him and his break up, especially after he hadn’t seen or talked to him again since that phone call. He knew that he couldn’t ask Charles how he was doing while they were at school, but when lunchtime came, he headed to the cafeteria instead of the library. He figured at least he could catch a glimpse of him across the cafeteria and try to judge how he was doing from afar. Plus, Thomas wasn’t likely to try to sit alone with him after the awkwardness of Thursday night.

He only made it three steps into the cafeteria before he was overwhelmed with nausea as his eyes found Charles.

Charles seemed absolutely fine since his break up with Ariadne. He seemed to be doing more than fine actually, considering he was already making out with someone else in the middle of the cafeteria. Alastair had never even seen Charles and Grace exchange a single word, but now they were exchanging saliva in front of everyone.

And Charles hadn’t even consulted him about the idea of him dating Grace. Or given him a heads up that they were together.

So that was why Charles had been far too busy to see or speak to him all weekend. While Alastair had been making himself miserable with guilt over an almost kiss, Charles had been out desperately searching for anyone who would be willing to kiss him in front of everyone, all to make sure everyone remembered he was still as straight as could be.

Even worse was that, as far as Alastair knew, Charles’ latest girlfriend was straight. He highly doubted that Charles had told her that he was not.

Maybe, he should have just let Thomas kiss him, Alastair thought bitterly. But, no. He wasn’t Charles. He didn’t _want_ to be the kind of person who led someone on and kissed anyone other than his boyfriend. He just wanted Charles to stop dating other people and giving him no say in the matter.

Alastair forced himself to tear his eyes away from the pair and keep walking. He wanted to turn and throw up in the nearest garbage can or storm back out of the cafeteria, but both of those things would be far too suspicious, especially when he had just walked in and only looked over at Charles and Grace’s table.

There was absolutely no chance that he was going to be able to eat now and he didn’t think he could handle sitting by himself without doing something stupid or reacting too obviously. He needed a distraction and someone else to keep him from watching them, so he veered over to the table that his sister was already sitting at which also happened to be the same table that he had vowed never to join her at.

“Fine, I’ll sit with you today if it will make you stop asking,” Alastair grumbled as he sat down next to his sister.

Thomas looked surprised to see him there but didn’t say anything.

Cordelia looked mildly confused, but at least she didn’t correct him. There was absolutely no way he was letting anyone at that table know that he had come to sit there intentionally and not because his sister had dragged him over.

As Cordelia’s friends babbled on about who knew what, Alastair sat there silently fuming and trying to force himself not to turn around to check if Charles and Grace were still all over each other. This distraction absolutely was _not_ working and now he had stupidly sat himself at a table with Thomas who constantly watched him and noticed everything and now Thomas was probably going to figure it out if he couldn’t keep it together and ignore what may or may not be going on behind him.

After a few painfully long minutes, Cordelia nudged her brother with her elbow and asked, “Aren’t you going to eat anything?”

“No,” Alastair told her. “The present company sickens me too much.”

“Wow… Nice boyfriend, Tom,” Matthew commented.

Clearly, Thomas must not have told Matthew about the disaster that Thursday had been if Matthew thought they were boyfriends. At least that meant that Matthew had yet to have a laugh at his expense for his reaction to Thomas trying to kiss him.

“I’m not his boyfriend,” Alastair snapped back before Thomas could say anything.

Cordelia turned and gave him a confused look, but he ignored her.

“Right,” Matthew said, then paused to give Thomas a pointed look before glaring back over at Alastair. “You’re just stringing him along like the asshole you are.”

“Matthew-“ Thomas started to say, but Alastair cut him off.

“That’s rich coming from the biggest fuckboy in the school,” Alastair growled. “And your brother isn’t much better.”

“I don’t go on dates with people and pretend I’m interested in commitment when I’m not,” Matthew snapped back. “And I don’t see what Charles has to do with anything. He’s in a committed relationship, unlike you.”

“Friday, he was dating Ariadne and now he’s all over Grace in front of everyone,” Alastair pointed out. “How committed can he really be? …I wonder how long it took after things ended before he had his tongue down her throat. A day? An hour? Five minutes?”

“What do you care who my brother dates?”

“I don’t. I’m just saying maybe you should look at yourself and your family before you try and talk about me.”

“Fuck you.”

“You know what? I don’t need this,” Alastair said and he stood up from the table, hands in the air to show his exasperation. He shot a pointed look at his sister as he said, “I told you.” _They hate me._

At least he had an excuse to storm out now. And at least there was no way his sister was going to try to invite him back to their lunch table again.

* * *

Alastair had made barely made it to the library when his phone started buzzing. He hoped that it would be Charles with some kind of explanation, but no, of course not. It was a string of texts from Thomas instead.

_I didn’t tell him to say any of that_

_And I never said you were my boyfriend_

_I didn’t tell them anything about Thursday_

_I know it was supposed to be just friends and I screwed that up_

_I do want to be your friend though if you’ll still have me as one_

Alastair read through the messages, then stuck his phone back in his pocket, ignoring all of them.

* * *

After school, Alastair was still ignoring Thomas and his messages. He wanted to avoid his sister too after how lunch had gone. He knew that she was going to try to question him about it and he had absolutely no desire to put up with that, even besides the fact that he knew he wouldn’t be able to answer any of them.

He figured the best place to avoid running into either of them was the GSA meeting. Unfortunately, that meant being in the same room as Matthew, but at least he could glare at him and at least Matthew was bound to be as annoyed by Alastair’s presence as Alastair was by his.

Alastair was only distracted from trying to glare a hole through Matthew’s skull when beside him, Anna looked up at the doorway surprised. Alastair turned to see what she was looking at and found Ariadne walking into the room.

That was interesting. Alastair probably should have been annoyed to see her there considering all of Charles’ fears around the idea of Ariadne telling anyone about her sexuality. Instead, Alastair thought the meeting had just finally gotten interesting. He didn’t like Ariadne, but he was glad that she was done pretending to be straight and wasn’t going to just jump to another boyfriend.

Halfway through the meeting, Charles started calling Alastair. He had to ignore three calls in a row and he wasn’t entirely certain that he wouldn’t have done the same, even if he had been somewhere private where he could have taken the call.

As the meeting came close to an end, Alastair debated sticking around afterward to try to talk to Ariadne about the Grace and Charles thing and see what she thought of it. He knew that she knew that Charles had been seeing someone else. He didn’t know if she knew that it was him or not, but it didn’t seem like it could be that much of a risk to have her figure that out when he was already out at school and she already knew Charles had been seeing a guy.

Ariadne didn’t talk once during the meeting, but the moment it was over, she jumped out of her seat and pulled Anna out of the room to speak to her privately. Alastair supposed that made his decision for him.

* * *

Charles called him several more times that evening, but Alastair hit ignore on every single one of them.

Part of him wanted an explanation, but most of him just didn’t want to listen to Charles insist that he was in the wrong for being upset. Alastair wanted to hold onto his anger, not be made to feel ridiculous and guilty about it.

After the eighth call since he had gotten home, Alastair turned his phone off altogether. He expected to feel relieved when the calls stopped but instead, all he felt was exhausted.

* * *

The next morning, news about Ariadne’s sexuality traveled around the school fast.

On his way to his second class, Alastair passed Charles’ locker on and heard Charles making a loud homophobic comment about her to one of his friends. He forced himself to ignore it, but he felt sick.

He didn’t even like Ariadne and he was bothered by the way Charles was acting since their break up. He was certain if he called Charles on it later, that Charles would claim it was a perfectly reasonable way to make sure that people knew he hadn’t known about her sexuality and he didn’t share it. He would probably insist that Ariadne had brought it on herself for having the nerve to tell anyone she was gay.

Alastair wondered if Charles had spoken about him to his friends like that after he had come out. He wasn’t sure if Charles would talk about him like that or if Charles would spare him the insult only for the sake of avoiding even mentioning his name, out of fear that someone would somehow figure out that they were together.

If Charles could date Ariadne for two years and still talk about her that way as if it was nothing, what would he be willing to say about Alastair?

* * *

Alastair usually spent the class before lunch ignoring Ariadne and pretending he wasn’t forced to co-exist with her for an hour of every school day, but the next day, he found himself springing out of his chair after class to catch her at her desk before she could leave the room.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” He asked.

Ariadne looked surprised, but she agreed, “Okay.”

Alastair waited and watched as the rest of the class had rushed out to go have their lunches, then he turned his attention back to her.

“I just want you to know that I don’t agree with the way he’s handling you ending things,” Alastair said. “Or the way he’s been treating you since.”

Ariadne studied his face for a moment, then said, “You’re…”

“The one he’s dating, yes,” he confirmed.

“Well, I’m done with him now,” she pointed out. “I think the way he’s treating you and handling things while he’s with you is worse.”

Alastair considered for a moment, then said, “He didn’t even warn me about her. I mean, I got no say in him dating you either, but this time he told me you ended things and then ignored me for two days. I only found out that he had a new girlfriend when I saw his tongue down her throat at school.”

“And you’re still dating him?” She asked.

Alastair shrugged. “I’m not speaking to him right now though.”

“Good,” Ariadne said. “You know, I offered Anna the same kind of deal he offered you. She turned me down. And she was right to. But you’ve just been living in it for two years, haven’t you? Don’t you think you deserve better than that?”

“He made all these promises about how it wasn’t always going to have to be that way,” Alastair said. “I’m not sure I believe them anymore. I thought when things ended with you that we would still be a secret, but it would finally be just us. Instead, I’m starting to realize that I don’t think it will ever be just us. I think he’s always going to want to keep someone else for show at the same time.”

“And is that something you’re willing to live with?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” Alastair said. “I haven’t really considered it. I never let myself think I would need to.”

“Can I ask you something?” She said.

“What?”

“Don’t get annoyed. I know I’m not in any position to judge,” she said. “But I’m curious. If you’re with Charles, then why did you take Thomas to that party?”

“That’s complicated,” Alastair said. “But nothing’s happening with him. I’m not interested in dating anyone else, fake or not.”

She seemed to consider his answer for a moment, then said, “Alright, well I’m starving. Do you want to go grab lunch?”

* * *

Five minutes later, Alastair was sitting in the cafeteria at a table alone with Ariadne, ignoring the death glare that Charles was shooting their way.

“You know, I despised you for two years,” Alastair said. “Just looking at you annoyed me.”

“And now?” She asked.

“You’re shockingly tolerable now that you’re not with him,” he admitted. “And now that I realize that you weren’t the one who was irritating me. Or the one who was making me promises about the situation, only to break them and insist he hadn’t.”

Alastair’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out, then set it down on the table without reading the message.

“Let me guess who that is,” Ariadne said with a smirk.

“I’m certain you’d get it right,” Alastair said with a sigh.

“Can I see?” She asked.

He hesitated for a moment, then unlocked his phone to check the message before handing it over for her to see.

_What are you doing sitting with her after what she did? If you’re doing this to get back at me, it isn’t funny_

Ariadne read the message, then typed something before handing his phone back.

Alastair checked what she had sent and laughed.

_Fuck off, Charles_

_- <3 Ariadne_

He probably should have been annoyed that she was messaging Charles that way, especially from his phone, but he was too annoyed with Charles to feel sorry for him.

“Does he try to tell you who you are and aren’t allowed to talk to often?” She asked.

Alastair opened his mouth to say no, then closed his mouth again and furrowed his brow as he realized that wasn’t entirely true.

He wasn’t allowed to talk to Charles in front of anyone.

He wasn’t banned from talking to Thomas, but Charles had made sure to make him feel guilty about it after _he_ had told Alastair to date someone else. That was why Alastair had been ignoring Thomas’s messages from the day before. He was worried about what Charles would think if he agreed to be Thomas’s friend. He was worried about how Charles would make him feel about it if he found out.

Charles hadn’t outright banned Alastair from talking to Matthew. But he had made him go out the window to avoid the possibility of Alastair even crossing paths with him.

Now, Charles was mad that he was sitting with Ariadne like Charles himself hadn’t sat with her every day for two years. It was as if Charles thought that somehow Alastair sitting with her once was worse than him exchanging promise rings with her that thankfully neither was wearing anymore.

“I’m done letting him,” Alastair said finally. “He does whatever he wants and doesn’t worry what I think about it. I’m done worrying about his feelingsabout who I talk to when he acts without a single care about mine.”

“Good,” Ariadne said.

“It’s a relief being able to talk to someone who knows about him,” Alastair admitted.

It was also a relief being able to talk to someone who didn’t tell him that he was ridiculous for being upset.

“I made a mistake dating him and pretending to be someone I wasn’t,” Ariadne said. “But maybe one good thing can come of it.”

“What’s that?” Alastair asked.

“Your friendship,” she said casually.

Alastair knew that Charles would absolutely despise the idea, but it wasn’t Charles’ decision to make. A week ago, he would have never believed it was possible, but now he found that he wanted to accept Ariadne’s friendship. It might be nice having a friend that knew more about him than most people but still wanted him as her friend.

“I’d like that,” Alastair admitted.

“Okay, now that we’re friends, can I give you a piece of unsolicited advice?” She asked.

“If you feel the need to,” he said.

“If there’s really nothing going on between you and Thomas, then okay,” she said. “But, speaking from experience? If you’re not sure, then you might want to figure out what you want before it’s too late.”

* * *

Alastair was mildly surprised when Charles tried to call him several times again after school.

Part of him had expected Charles to give up after one day. Another part of him had expected Charles to stop calling him and ignore him as a punishment for him sitting with Ariadne at lunch.

He was no longer sure whether Charles was calling to try to talk about Grace or to complain at him for sitting with Ariadne. He didn’t take any of the calls and Charles would never do something as risky as leaving him a voicemail so, for now, he didn’t have to find out.

* * *

The next morning, Alastair sat at the desk next to Thomas instead of as far away as possible.

“Fine,” he said as he sat down.

Thomas looked over at him confused, clearly not following that Alastair was continuing a one-sided conversation from two days earlier.

“Fine what?” Thomas asked.

“Fine, I’ll be your friend,” Alastair clarified. “I actually enjoyed Thursday before… Well, you know.”

“I did too,” Thomas said. “Obviously.”

“Good,” Alastair said. “Friends then.”

* * *

In history class, Ariadne chose the desk next to Alastair and when the lunch bell rang, she asked if he wanted to sit with her and her friends at lunch.

Alastair had been mildly nervous when he agreed since he hadn’t exactly been paying attention to anything other than Charles at lunchtime on Monday and on Tuesday, Ariadne had sat at a table with just him. Ariadne’s friend group used to share a table with Charles and his friends and Alastair no longer was sure how to tell them apart, but much to his relief, the table that Ariadne led him to was nowhere near Charles.

It was a little less nerve-wracking sitting there when he knew that the table was made up of her friends who still liked her and chose to sit with her even though they must have known her sexuality now. Still, Alastair remained mostly quiet during lunch, just listening to the others’ conversation.

* * *

That evening, Alastair was on his way to his room when Charles called yet again. He stopped in front of Cordelia’s room to hit ignore and Cordelia noticed him and gestured for him to come inside.

He slid his phone into his back pocket and then walked into her room and sat down at the foot of her bed.

“What do you want?” He asked.

“I see you have a new lunch table,” she said with a smile.

“Yes,” he said. “You must be relieved that I’ve finally made one friend.”

“Don’t be so stupid,” Cordelia told him. “I’ve been your friend this entire time.”

He laughed. “And what a kind friend you are.”

“And what an utterly moronic one you are,” she teased. “I would be surprised if you had a single brain cell you could afford to spare.”

“Hilarious,” he told her. “Are you done now?”

He moved as if to get up, but she stopped him quickly.

“Wait,” she said. “I have something to ask you.”

“What?” He asked.

“Is there something going on with you?” She asked.

“No,” he lied. “What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “You’ve seemed off lately. And the other day at lunch-“

“Matthew was being annoying,” he insisted.

“You were already being rude when no one had said anything to you yet,” she pointed out. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” he lied.

“If Matthew was the one being annoying, then why did you take it out on Thomas?” She asked.

“What are you talking about?” He asked.

“With that comment about him not being your boyfriend,” she insisted.

“He’s not,” Alastair argued.

“You said that to be nasty,” she pointed out. “You were acting like you weren’t dating him.”

“So?”

“Why?” She asked.

“None of your business,” he insisted.

“What’s going on?” Cordelia asked. “Did something happen with Thomas? Is that why you’re being so weird about him?”

“Nothing happened,” he said. “Mind your own business.”

“I don’t understand why you’re being like this again,” she insisted.

“And I don’t understand why you’re being so nosy again,” he countered.

“If you’re going to be a jerk and refuse to talk to me, you could at least tell me why.”

“I don’t owe you anything,” he said. “I’m going to go clean up downstairs. Don’t bother me.”

She looked like she wanted to argue, but he didn’t stick around long enough to let her.

* * *

It turned out Sona had already cleaned up after his father, but Alastair had already stormed downstairs and there was no way he was going back up and crossing Cordelia’s room on his way to his own.

Instead, he sat down at the piano and absentmindedly played as he tried not to think about his sister fuming upstairs. Unfortunately, what his mind decided to drift to was Charles.

He had been calling for three days, so the odds that he was going to stop soon weren’t very high. Alastair still had no idea what he wanted to say to him, but he wished that the calling would stop and Charles would give him some time to think about it.

After a while, he gave up on playing, and just ran through different possible conversations with Charles, but all of them went wrong right away, even in his head.

Finally, Alastair decided he would send Charles a message asking for some space to figure things out before they would talk about things.

The only problem was that when he went to pull his phone out to send the message, it wasn’t in his pocket anymore.

Alastair’s heart was pounding in his chest as he stood up and checked under the piano bench to see if it had somehow fallen out of his back pocket and landed there, but he had no luck.

He tried to remember the last place he had it and his blood ran cold when he remembered putting it in his back pocket before sitting on Cordelia’s bed.

Alastair rushed upstairs, hoping to get to his phone before Charles would call and Cordelia would see his contact name and have fuel for a whole new series of questions.

When he turned into Cordelia’s room, he could tell it was even worse than what he had been trying to prevent.

“Charles called you,” she said. “I wasn’t going to answer but he kept calling and you said not to bother you. I was just going to tell him you were busy, but he started talking before I could even say hello.”

“What did he say?” Alastair asked, dreading the answer.


	8. Chapter 8

“What did he say?” Alastair asked, dreading the answer.

“You’re dating him, aren’t you?” Cordelia asked, in lieu of an answer.

He could have lied. It was what he had been doing for a long time. But he didn’t want to and, obviously, Charles had already said something that had made her think so. Even if he did lie, she probably wouldn’t believe him at this point anyway.

Alastair took a step further into her room and closed the door behind him, then nodded. “What did he say to you?”

“That you’re making way too big of a deal about the Grace thing and you have no reason to be jealous,” she said. “And he said that you spending time with Ariadne to spite him is childish.”

“Spending time with Ariadne isn’t to spite him,” Alastair said. “He just can’t understand the idea that not everything has to do with him always.”

“And the Grace thing?” She asked. “That’s because he’s dating her?”

Alastair almost told her that it was none of her business out of habit, but then he realized that there was no reason now that he couldn’t answer her question.

“He didn’t tell me about her,” Alastair said. “He ignored my not being okay with him dating Ariadne, but at least I had some warning about that. And at least I knew she wasn’t actually interested in him. He called me Saturday about Ariadne breaking up with him and the next time I saw him or heard from him was when I walked into the cafeteria on Monday and saw their public mating display.”

“You have every right to be upset about him cheating on you,” she told him.

“He’s gay,” Alastair countered. “He’s not cheating.”

“He’s still cheating on you,” she insisted. “He’s dating other people when you’re not okay with it and being gay doesn’t change what he’s doing with her.”

Alastair just stared at her for a moment as he considered her words.

All this time, he had been so concerned about not giving Thomas the wrong signals and not really going on dates with him and about making sure nothing happened between them because he was with Charles. He had been so concerned about making sure he didn’t do anything that could be perceived as cheating that he hadn’t even realized that Charles had been cheating on him the entire time. He had just let himself believe everything Charles had told him about how he had no right to be upset about his relationship with Ariadne.

“Wait, you said you had warning about him being with Ariadne?” She asked. “How long have you been with him?”

“Two years,” he admitted.

He could see her doing the math in her head, thinking over all of the time that he had been in a relationship while she had had no idea about it.

“So that’s why you said Thomas wasn’t your boyfriend?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“And you and Thomas?” She asked.

“Are just friends,” Alastair said. “Did he grow irritatingly handsome over the summer? Obviously. Do I have a theory that he used some form of witchcraft to make himself grow so much just to spite me? Of course. But nothing is happening between us.”

“But what about the dates?” She asked.

“I told him nothing was going on between us and that it meant nothing,” Alastair said. “I don’t know that he believed me at first, but I always said it before I agreed to anything. I made him tell me that Thursday wasn’t a date beforehand. And then I was so surprised when he tried to kiss me that I nearly fell off of his bed in my last moment rush to dodge him.”

“His bed?” Cordelia asked.

“We were reading,” Alastair said. “His room was quieter. It didn’t mean anything. But I let myself feel horrible for it and for somehow sending the wrong signals and for not dodging him sooner and for not telling Charles. But it turns out that there’s much more that Charles doesn’t tell me than that I don’t tell him.”

“I don’t understand,” she said. “Why did you go to the party with Thomas and say you were going on dates with him if you weren’t?”

“You wanted to date James,” he said. “Father was never going to let you date until I started to. That was never going to happen when Charles didn’t want anyone finding out about us and I couldn’t let Father keep you from ever getting to go on a date because of me.”

“Oh, Alastair,” she said and he could hear the sadness in her voice.

“I tried asking Charles, but he didn’t want anyone finding out we were together,” Alastair said. “I was hoping he would either go on a date with me or tell me not to date anyone else and help me find another way to help you. Instead, he told me to go find someone else to date publicly. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when that was what he had chosen to do himself without an ultimatum forcing his hand.”

“That’s why you’ve been acting so strange and being such a jerk whenever I ask you anything, isn’t it?” She said. “Because you haven’t been able to talk about any of it.”

He shrugged and sat down on the edge of her bed. “There’s nothing stopping me from answering your questions now.”

* * *

The next morning, when the alarm on Alastair’s phone went off, Alastair woke up in Cordelia’s bed and realized that at some point he must have fallen asleep by accident. It was strange waking up in her room. The last time either of them had fallen asleep in the other’s bedroom, he had been ten years old.

Last night, they had talked for hours in a way that they hadn’t in years before then. It had been a little terrifying telling her so much, but it was mostly just a relief that he could and that the invisible wall between them was shrinking.

On the way to school, Alastair walked with Cordelia and Lucie, instead of intentionally leaving separately. He didn’t contribute to their conversation at all on the way. He just walked silently with them.

Even after she dropped Lucie off at her locker, Alastair stuck by Cordelia’s side and he was relieved that he had when Charles was waiting, leaning against the locker next to Cordelia’s.

“I don’t know what you think you know, but-” Charles snapped at her as they approached.

“Leave her alone,” Alastair interrupted. “She’s not going to tell anyone anything.”

Charles turned his gaze on Alastair for a moment, looking torn between snapping at him and ignoring his existence at school, then glared back over at Cordelia.

Alastair stepped in front of her.

“She’d better not,” Charles growled.

Alastair just stared back at him and said nothing. Charles glared at him for a long moment, then glanced around the hallway at the other students around them. Finally, he gave in and walked away, fleeing the conversation lest someone spot them speaking to each other.

“I could have handled that by myself,” Cordelia pointed out.

“I know,” Alastair said. “But he’s bothering you because he’s my problem.”

He knew he was going to have to do something about him soon. He just needed a little more time to figure out what exactly that something would be.

* * *

Alastair spent lunch with Ariadne and her friends for the rest of the week. He was growing more comfortable with them, but he was still surprised when Ariadne was waiting at his locker for him after school on Friday.

“What are you doing tomorrow morning?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I hadn’t really planned anything. Why?”

“You’re coming to the football game with me,” she said. “Anna’s going to be there to watch her cousin and I want an excuse to see her, but there’s no way I’m going alone.”

Alastair considered. He didn’t really want to go somewhere else where he’d have to risk spending time with Thomas’s friends and put up with their silent (or in Matthew’s case not so silent) judgment, but at least if he was with Ariadne he wouldn’t be forced to sit with them.

She must have sensed his hesitation because she offered, “If you come with me, I’ll buy you lunch after.”

“Fine, I’ll go,” he agreed.

“Great!” She said, immediately perking up. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.”

Alastair was mildly surprised to learn she had her own car. He’d only ever seen her getting in and out of Charles’ before. Then again, he hadn’t ever paid her much attention when she hadn’t been around him.

* * *

When Alastair arrived at the game with Ariadne the next day, Thomas already had quite the crowd on the bleachers. James, Matthew, Christopher, Anna, Cordelia, and Lucie were all sitting together, waiting for the game to begin.

Anna glanced up at Ariadne as they approached but quickly looked away again.

“What are you doing here?” Matthew asked with a pointed glare at Alastair as they passed by.

Alastair ignored him and kept walking, but Matthew wasn’t done.

“I wonder how long it took after you ended things with Tom before you had your tongue down her throat,” Matthew threw his own words back at him. Apparently, Matthew was under the impression that Alastair and Ariadne were also bisexual.

Alastair stopped walking and turned back to face Matthew. He was so shocked by the accusation that all he could manage was a confused, “I’m gay.”

There were so many reasons Matthew’s words were ridiculous. He was tempted to point out that he had never ended things with Thomas. He wanted to point out that nothing had even really happened with Thomas just to see the look on Matthew’s face, but something held him back.

He knew Matthew would go triumphantly tell Thomas how he was right and Alastair had never cared about him and he had just been stringing him along. The thought of Thomas’s face when he heard about it stopped him.

“So am I,” Ariadne said beside him. She looked over at Anna as she added, “And I’m not interested in dating guys to try to convince myself that that’s not the truth anymore.”

With that, she turned and headed to a spot a little further down the bleachers and Alastair followed and sat down beside her.

Thomas was warming up on the field with his team, but he turned and smiled when he noticed Alastair was there. Alastair half smiled back at him, but quickly wiped the expression off of his face when he felt Thomas’s friends’ eyes on him.

Ariadne nudged him in the arm with her elbow then. When he turned to see what she wanted, he saw her looking over at the parking lot. He followed her gaze over and saw Charles and Grace showing up together.

“Why are they here?” Alastair asked quietly. “Is he pretending to care about sports so that everyone will think he’s straight?”

“Probably,” Ariadne confirmed. “Plus, he has to make his public appearances. Like a true politician in training.”

Alastair laughed under his breath.

“So what exactly is your plan here?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“I thought you were here to see Anna,” he commented.

“And I can see her perfectly well from here,” Ariadne pointed out.

“So the plan is to stare wistfully at her from a moderate distance?” Alastair asked.

“Something like that,” she agreed. “I already told her that I screwed up and want her back and that I don’t plan on changing my mind again. So, maybe, the plan is just to be around and stubborn until she realizes that I mean it this time.”

“Well, it seems like you’re succeeding at getting her attention,” Alastair commented.

Matthew and Anna were sitting closer now, leaning their heads together and talking about something. Every once in a while one of them would glance back at Alastair and Ariadne, then quickly look away again.

They were still whispering between each other when the game began.

Thomas was no longer a benchwarmer and he was one of the players on the starting shift.

Part of Alastair had been hoping that Thomas wouldn’t be used to his new size and that he would at least play awkwardly, although he did not know what possessed him to wish for that. It didn’t matter anyway though because Thomas wasn’t just one of the biggest players on the field. He was one of the best. Alastair felt personally attacked.

* * *

About ten minutes into the game, Alastair’s phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text from Charles. He still hadn’t spoken to him since Monday, aside from the brief interaction in the hallway to get him to leave Cordelia alone.

_Can we talk after the game?_

Alastair stared at the text for a long moment, then typed back a response.

_I have plans after. Tomorrow?_

Charles’ response came a moment later.

_I have plans with Grace tomorrow_

Alastair closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try not to react. After a moment, he sent another message back.

_Never mind._

It took two minutes before Charles responded again.

_I’ll move them_

There was a time when the idea of Charles moving his plans around to make time for him would have made him feel important and good. Now, he felt nothing but anxious when he thought about the idea of seeing Charles the next day.

* * *

The second half of the game was just about to begin when Anna got up from her spot next to Matthew on the bleachers and headed over to where Alastair and Ariadne were sitting.

She hesitated in front of them for a moment, hands in her pockets.

“I need to go ask my sister something,” Alastair lied.

He got up from his seat and headed over to sit next to Cordelia. He was glad there was an empty space beside her, but he was less than thrilled that James was on the other side of her, holding onto her hand. Lucie sat on the other side of her brother, but she was leaning halfway across him to chatter at Cordelia when Alastair sat down.

Alastair glanced back over at Ariadne. Anna was still standing in front of her, but they were talking to each other now.

After a couple of minutes, Anna sat down next to Ariadne, leaving a small gap between them on the bleachers. Alastair turned his attention back on the game, even though it was notably more dull at the moment now that Thomas was on the bench getting water instead of on the field.

Cordelia leaned closer to Alastair and spoke in Persian as she asked, “ _What are they doing here?_ ”

Alastair glanced over at where Charles and Grace were sitting together for a moment, then looked back at the field as he responded, “ _I don’t know. Maybe, he came to see if I would be here. Maybe, he’s just here to make sure that he’s seen with a girlfriend by as many people as possible._ ”

“ _Maybe, he should have a shirt made with a picture of them kissing on it_ ,” Cordelia suggested. “ _Since he’s so desperate to have everyone know._ ”

Alastair laughed and then ignored the curious look James gave him for it.

“ _Maybe, you should have Lucie put it on the front of the school newspaper for him,_ ” Alastair countered. He gestured with his hands in front of him to show where each word would go as he added, “‘ _Charles likes women’ in big letters with a picture of him underneath._ ”

Cordelia let out a surprised laugh.

Alastair smirked at her reaction, then focused back on the game as Thomas ran back on the field.

A few minutes later, Thomas scored a goal and Alastair was the only one in their area of the bleachers that didn’t stand up and start shouting. Matthew and James were particularly loud with their obnoxious whooping and screaming at Thomas. Alastair was mildly embarrassed to be sitting with any of them and he set his hand on his forehead, trying to block his face from view on the off chance that it might make one less person notice him sitting next to the group of howling fools.

* * *

When the game was over, Thomas went through the post-game handshakes with the other team, then headed straight over to the crowd that had come to see him play.

“So they do let you on the field now,” Alastair commented loudly as he approached.

He could feel that he was getting dirty looks from Thomas’s friends, but he chose to ignore them.

Thomas didn’t seem that bothered as he laughed and said, “I thought you wanted to keep it a mystery.”

“I must have changed my mind then,” Alastair said. “Or, I just had nowhere better to be.”

“Still, you’re here with no homework this time?” Thomas asked. “I’m honoured.”

“Don’t be,” Alastair said. “I already finished it all and it’s far too loud next to your fan section to have brought a book. You have quite the crowd now that you’re allowed off of the bench.”

“He’s had a crowd the entire time,” James corrected. “We haven’t missed a single game.”

Thomas smiled dopily at James and Alastair looked away, glancing over at Ariadne. She and Anna had sat together for the entire second half of the game, but now Ariadne was heading straight for him.

He was half expecting her to cancel on him and tell him to find his own way home so that she could spend more of her time with Anna but instead, Ariadne asked, “Are you ready? I still owe you lunch.”

“I’m ready,” Alastair said.

He shot Thomas one last glance before he followed her back to the parking lot.

* * *

The next morning, Charles picked Alastair up down the street from his house.

They drove in uncomfortable silence for a while, with Alastair waiting for Charles to speak first and Charles gripping the wheel hard enough for his knuckles to turn white.

Finally, Charles stopped in a parking lot the next town over and turned to look at him.

“I don’t see how this is any different from Ariadne,” he said.

“You didn’t even warn me about her,” Alastair said. “I had to find out with everybody else.”

“Maybe, I should have told you first,” Charles said. “But you know now. Things worked for two years with me with Ariadne. They can work with me with Grace.”

“I never wanted you to date Ariadne either,” Alastair pointed out. “I thought you were done dating other people.”

“You knew that I wasn’t comfortable telling other people when we started things,” Charles accused. “You said you weren’t either.”

“There’s a difference between not telling people and dating a string of other people at the same time,” Alastair argued.

“She means nothing to me,” Charles said. “You went to that party with Thomas. How is that different?”

“ _You_ told me to take someone else,” Alastair pointed out. “I didn’t want to. I wanted you to go with me. Or tell me not to date someone else. Not for you push me to go with anybody else without question.”

“You asked me what you should do,” Charles said. “I helped you find the answer. And it worked, didn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Alastair admitted.

“You’re the only one that matters,” Charles said. “Do you really want to throw a good thing away over something so small?”

Alastair was silent for a moment as he considered. “No…”

He wasn’t so sure that this was a good thing anymore though. He didn’t have the chance to say that though before Charles spoke again.

“Just drop it then,” Charles said. “I’ll even let you keep spending time with Ariadne if you want to so badly.”

Alastair hated that he was tempted, even as the words “I’ll even _let you_ ” echoed in his head.

Charles took Alastair’s silence as encouragement and he added, “We can go back to normal. How things were before that party. You can keep going on pretend dates with Thomas for your sister’s sake. Nothing has to change how things are when we’re alone.”

“Maybe…”

For a moment, Alastair was overwhelmed with longing for how things had used to be. He forgot all about the things he had realized about their relationship, even then. He forgot about all of Charles’ behaviour that had been leaving him nauseous lately and he only remembered the way that it had used to feel to be with Charles. Then, it all came crashing down all at once.

“You can even keep going to those idiotic meetings after school,” Charles added.

“What?” Alastair asked.

“The GSA meetings,” Charles said in a disgusted tone.

Alastair had never told Charles that he had attended any of those. He hadn’t wanted to see the judgment on Charles’ face.

“Who told you about those?” Alastair asked.

“Matthew mentioned that you’ve been going and annoying him,” Charles said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“You know that Matthew goes to those?” Alastair asked.

“Yes,” Charles said. “Unfortunately.”

“So, if you knew that, then why did you make me go out the window?” Alastair asked.

“What?” Charles asked.

“When Matthew came home,” Alastair said. “Why did you make me go out the window or hide in your closet to avoid any chance of you being seen with _my kind_?”

“You were out,” Charles said. “There was no way I was going to be seen with you.”

“Even by your brother?” Alastair asked. “The one who you know attends GSA meetings?”

“I wish he wouldn’t,” Charles said. “Soon enough he’ll outgrow that phase and realize that it’s for the best for him to just focus on women instead of being foolish enough to keep indulging his character flaws and identifying as bisexual.”

Alastair stared at him in disbelief for a long moment.

“You’re _gay_ ,” Alastair insisted. “How can you say that he’ll outgrow his sexuality and call it a character flaw?

“You don’t even like Matthew,” Charles pointed out. “Why are you making a big deal out of this?”

“You’re right, I don’t,” Alastair agreed. “I can’t stand him. But he’s your _brother._ How can you talk about him like that?”

All at once, Alastair got a very clear picture of the kind of person that Charles was and he didn’t like what he saw. He didn’t know how mere minutes before, he had been debating actually forgiving Charles and expecting things to change for the better. Charles was never going to change for the sake of anyone else. Charles didn’t care about anyone else and their feelings. He had only ever cared about himself and what he wanted and how things made him look.

It was obvious in the way that he treated everyone around him. He had always made all the decisions in their relationship and made Alastair feel guilty for even questioning a single thing that he did or said. He had kept Ariadne around for as long as she was convenient to him, even though he had known that it hurt Alastair. And then as soon as she hadn’t suited his narrative anymore, he had started trashing her to anyone who would listen.

He was supposed to love his brother but instead, he had used him as a scapegoat to blame for his own behaviour when he had said horrible things to Alastair and rushed him out of the window. He was supposed to care about Matthew and should have felt empathetic about his situation but instead, he wanted Matthew to deny his own sexuality to even himself.

And now, Alastair even felt sorry for Grace. He highly doubted that Charles had come out to her and he wasn’t sure what had brought them together, but he was certain that Charles would use her for his own purposes and then toss her aside too.

“You know what?” Alastair asked. “You just made this really easy for me. I’m done.”

“What?” Charles asked, looking genuinely shocked by Alastair’s decision. “There’s no way you are actually breaking up with me over something I said about Matthew.”

“It has nothing to do with Matthew,” Alastair said. “It has everything to do with the kind of person you are. You try to control everyone around you to think and feel how you want them to feel. I don’t want to be a part of it anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Charles demanded. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“No, I’m not,” Alastair said. “And I’m sick of you telling me that I am every time that I get upset about something. You keep saying you want to talk about things, but you don’t. You just want to tell me what to think and do and have me sit here and absorb it all without question. I’m sick of it. And I’m sick of worrying about what you’re going to say about me if I don’t do whatever you want… Or even if I do.”

“Calm down,” Charles said. “You’re obviously not thinking clearly.”

“No, I think I’m seeing you clearly for the first time,” Alastair said.

He thought about the things Ariadne and Cordelia had said about the Charles situation. He thought about how there was no way he could picture himself successfully justifying letting Charles talk him out of ending things and staying silent about how uncomfortable Charles dating Grace and treating Ariadne horribly made him feel. He thought about the fact that Charles hadn’t apologized once in this entire conversation and about how, now that he thought about it, he couldn’t think of a single instance when Charles had apologized instead of just trying to defend his actions.

“Consider this my way of helping you stop indulging your character flaws,” Alastair said as he opened the car door. “If you want everyone to think you’re straight and you want to date women, fine. If you want to do everything in your power to convince everyone that that’s who you are, then go ahead. But you don’t get to decide that I have to come along for the ride. I get to make my own choices. And I don’t want this anymore. I’m done… No, _we’re_ done.”

“Where are you going?” Charles asked as Alastair stepped out of the passenger door. “Get back in the car. We’re not done talking about this.”

“No, _you’re_ not done talking about this,” Alastair said. “I am. I’m not letting you talk me in circles. I’ll find my own way home.”

Charles opened his mouth to argue, but Alastair closed the car door in his face. He was half expecting Charles to roll down the window or open a door to keep arguing, so he turned and started walking in the opposite direction to try to get away from that situation before it could start. He only made it around the corner before he heard Charles’ car drive out of the parking lot.

He was relieved for a moment, but then he remembered that he was in the next town over with no way of getting back other than walking which would take forever.

Alastair sighed and pulled out his phone. After a moment of consideration, he called Ariadne.

As the phone rang and rang, he thought he was going to have to decide whether it would be worse to call Thomas with no explanation as to what he was doing in a parking lot of the next town over or how he had gotten there or to call Cordelia and try to convince her to borrow James’ car to come to get him.

He was just about to give up and try Thomas when she answered and a wave of relief washed over him.

“Hello?” Ariadne said.

“Are you busy right now?” He asked.

“Not particularly,” she said. “Why?”

“I broke up with Charles.”

“That’s great!” She said. “I mean, that is good, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know,” Alastair said. “I think so. Maybe. I broke up with him and then I got out of the car and told him to leave without thinking through how I was going to get home. So now I need a ride.”

“Message me the address,” she said. “I’ll leave right away.”

* * *

A little over half an hour later, Ariadne dropped Alastair off at his house.

“Thank you,” he said as he got out of the car.

“Any time,” she said as if she anticipated Alastair might break up with a common ex and accidentally abandon himself in a town he wasn’t familiar with and end up needing her help all over again some time.

Alastair gave her a nod, then got out of the car and headed inside. Cordelia was in the living room finishing up her homework and she looked up the moment the door opened.

“How did it go?” She asked.

“I broke up with him,” Alastair said.

Cordelia was on her feet and hugging him in an instant. Alastair didn’t hug her back. He just stood there, leaning against her.

“You deserve better anyway,” she told him. “I think you made the right decision.”

“I think so too,” he admitted.

“I’m proud of you,” she said as she pulled away from him with a smile.

He wasn’t sure what to say to that. After a pause, he said, “Thanks.”

“I want you to promise me something though,” she said.

“What?” He asked skeptically.

“You’re done with him now,” she said. “Promise me you won’t let what he thinks affect your decisions anymore and you’ll just do what you want. Whatever that ends up being. He’s messed with your head long enough.”

“I’ll try,” he promised, although he wasn’t sure it would be that easy.


	9. Chapter 9

“James is going to drive me and Lucie to school today,” Cordelia said on Monday morning. “You can come with us if you want.”

Alastair wasn’t sure if Cordelia had invited him along herself or if James had offered to bring him along as a courtesy to her. It didn’t really matter either way. He knew that James and Lucie would be disappointed if he took her up on the offer. That was enough to make his decision for him.

Besides, there was a difference between being glad that his sister was happy with James and wanting a front-row seat to watching them together.

“I’ll walk,” he said.

* * *

After school, Alastair went to the GSA meeting again with Ariadne. It was nice having her to sit with instead of being on his own there for once.

Matthew was there again and Alastair wondered if he would complain about his presence to Charles again. Alastair knew the idea should make him angrier, but what Charles thought about his actions wasn’t his problem and it was hard to be properly upset about it when he knew what Charles would think about Matthew being there. And when Matthew couldn’t get rid of Charles and his judgments so easily.

After the meeting, Ariadne offered, “I can give you a ride home if you want.”

Alastair considered for a moment. The meeting had only been an hour long and Thomas’s practice lasted an hour and a half.

“Thanks, but I’m alright,” he said.

“Are you sure?” Ariadne asked.

“I have somewhere else to be,” he said. He glanced over at Anna for a moment as he added, “But maybe you could convince someone else to take you up on that offer.”

* * *

Alastair didn’t bother pulling out any homework this time, he just sat on the bleachers and watched.

When practice ended, Thomas came over to the bleachers and grinned at him.

“Let me guess,” Thomas said. “You had nowhere better to be.”

Alastair shrugged, not admitting that he’d chosen to be here over getting a ride home from Ariadne. “I figured there’d be less of a crowd than at your game.”

“So you wanted to see me play again?” Thomas asked.

“I was bored,” Alastair said.

“Well, if you’re really bored, you could practice with me,” Thomas suggested.

“You’re kidding, right?” Alastair asked.

“No,” Thomas said.

“What? You’re not already sweaty enough?” Alastair asked as he looked him up and down to take in his sweaty post-practice appearance up close.

“I guess not,” Thomas said with a shrug.

“I’m not exactly dressed for playing football,” Alastair pointed out.

“And I just practiced for an hour and a half,” Thomas said. “I think that evens things out.”

Alastair _highly_ doubted that when Thomas was on the football team and he had seen him play, but he wasn’t about to admit that.

“Maybe, you should rest instead then,” Alastair suggested.

“Why?” Thomas asked. “I thought you were surprised that they even let me on the field. Maybe, I need more practice.”

“Maybe, you should ask one of your teammates,” Alastair retorted.

“They already left,” Thomas pointed out. “And I’d rather ask you. Unless you’re nervous to play against me because you’re so much smaller.”

“I’m not nervous to play against you,” Alastair said and he got up off of the bleachers.

“Great,” Thomas said with a smile. “You can start with the ball.”

* * *

It became clear in a matter of minutes that Alastair stood no chance against Thomas. Every time he thought he might, it became apparent that Thomas had been taking it easy on him as he suddenly easily stopped him at the last moment.

It was as impressive as it was frustrating.

They had only been playing for a few minutes when Alastair heard a car door in the parking lot and he turned to see Charles had just closed the door of his car behind Grace. He watched him walk around the car for a moment, then turned back to Thomas.

Instead of picking the ball off of him like Alastair was certain he easily could have, Thomas was looking out at the parking lot as if he was trying to figure out what Alastair was looking at.

Alastair knew it was his best chance at getting past Thomas now that he was a well-practiced wall, so he took the opportunity to use the distraction to try to get around him.

It worked, for a moment, but then Thomas’s attention snapped back to him and with his obscenely long legs, he had run past Alastair and turned to cut him off in a matter of seconds. The move was so abrupt that Alastair probably would have run straight into Thomas and taken his collarbone to the nose if Thomas hadn’t grabbed Alastair by the biceps to steady him.

Even so, it was a close call, and when Alastair tilted his head back to look up at Thomas he suddenly became hyperaware of how close they were standing and just how tall Thomas really was now.

Thomas looked down at him for a long moment and for a second, Alastair thought he was going to try to kiss him again, but then the spell seemed to break and Thomas took a step back. Alastair hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath until Thomas’s strong hands left his arms.

“Are you alright?” Thomas asked and it took a second for Alastair to realize that he was asking because he had nearly fallen into him.

“I’m perfect,” he said and he was reminded of Thomas’s response when he had sent him those words once before. _Is this the part where I’m supposed to agree with you?_

But this time, Thomas said nothing. He just took advantage of Alastair’s distraction to kick the ball around him and run off after it. By the time Alastair had pulled himself together enough to turn around, Thomas had already shot the ball.

“Show off,” Alastair accused as it landed in the net.

Thomas laughed and Alastair had a sudden suspicion that showing off in front of him was the entire reason Thomas had talked him into practicing with him.

“Have you proven your point yet?” Alastair asked.

“What point?” Thomas asked.

Instead of telling Thomas that he had more than proven that he was a hot jock that could run circles around him on the field, Alastair said, “That you deserve a spot in the games.”

Thomas grinned as if he was surprised that Alastair had noticed. Alastair couldn’t imagine how he thought that it could be possible for him not to.

“I already knew you were good from Saturday anyway,” Alastair added.

* * *

They played for a little while longer before Thomas decided he’d had enough practice for one day.

“I’m going to go shower,” Thomas said. “But if you want to wait around, I can give you a ride home after.”

“Okay,” Alastair agreed.

“I can give you a ride tomorrow morning too,” Thomas offered. “If you want.”

Alastair considered for a moment, then said, “Alright. If you want to.”

Thomas’s smile was more than enough to show that he did.

* * *

That evening, Charles tried calling Alastair eleven times. Each time Alastair hit ignore, but Charles just kept calling. Finally, after the eleventh try, the calls stopped but Charles began messaging him instead.

_Call me back_

_You’re making a mistake and you know it_

_Don’t be an idiot_

_If this is about Thomas Lightwood, it’s an even stupider decision than I thought_

_We both know you only used Matthew as an excuse_

_Admit it_

Alastair read and ignored the messages. He hoped that if he didn’t answer that eventually they would stop.

* * *

When Alastair got in Thomas’s car the next morning, Thomas held out a paper cup of coffee that he had clearly bought for him on the way. Thomas had a matching cup in one of the cupholders.

“You didn’t have to bring me coffee,” Alastair pointed out as he took the cup from him.

“I know,” Thomas said. “I picked some up for me and figured you might want some too.”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want it,” Thomas added as he pulled out of the driveway.

“I do want it,” Alastair said, then took a careful sip. After a moment, he asked, “Do you usually bring coffee for everyone you drive?”

“Yes,” Thomas said and Alastair believed him. He could easily picture Thomas picking up coffee for all of his friends on his way to pick them up.

* * *

They made it to class early and after a couple of minutes, Alastair grabbed Thomas’s open notebook and started writing in it.

“What are you writing?” Thomas asked as he leaned closer to try to see.

“Movie suggestions,” Alastair said as he added more ideas onto the list he was creating. “You said you wanted them.”

“I did,” Thomas agreed. After a moment, when Alastair was still writing, he added, “That’s a long list.”

“Is that a problem?” Alastair asked as he glanced over at him. “They’re suggestions, not a checklist.”

He didn’t mention that there were more movies that he had debated listing, but he had left out because he wanted to see Thomas’s reactions if he chose to watch them.

“No, not a problem,” Thomas said with a smile.

When Alastair finally finished off the list, it took up an entire page.

“You have to message me with what you think if you watch any,” he insisted as he set Thomas’s notebook back down on his desk.

“When I watch any,” Thomas corrected.

* * *

At the end of the day, Alastair had just finished at his locker when his phone buzzed with a message from Charles.

_Have you changed your mind yet?_

Alastair typed out a message saying that he hadn’t and wasn’t going to, but then he deleted it and put his phone back in his pocket. It would be better just to ignore him. He didn’t need Charles taking his response as an invitation to message him even more to try to change his mind or call him ridiculous for not wanting to be with him anymore.

“Are you ready?” Thomas asked as he walked up to him.

“Ready?” Alastair asked.

“To go,” Thomas clarified. “You didn’t think I drove you this morning and was just going to leave you here, did you?”

He hadn’t really considered Thomas driving him home. He walked every other day and Thomas had only mentioned driving him to school.

Alastair shrugged.

“Doyou want a ride?” Thomas asked.

“Alright,” Alastair agreed. “And I’m ready to go.”

As they walked to his car, Thomas offered, “I can drive you tomorrow too… Or, any day really, as long as Babs doesn’t have the car.”

Alastair didn’t mind walking, but he also didn’t mind the idea of regular time alone with Thomas without having to worry about any of his friends showing up and pestering them, so he agreed, “Fine… But I get to bring the coffee tomorrow.”

* * *

Wednesday evening, Charles tried calling him seven times before he finally gave up. So when his phone buzzed with a message, for a moment Alastair thought it was going to be another awful text from Charles.

Instead, he found a message from Thomas.

_I’m watching L’Inferno_

Alastair smiled to himself.

_What do you think so far?_

_I just started, but there’s a surprising amount of nudity for something made in 1911_

_No more than in plenty of art older than it_

_That’s true_

_Pay attention and we’ll talk about it after_

_Okay_

Alastair decided to rewatch it while he waited for Thomas to make it through the whole movie. As he watched, he found himself wondering what Thomas thought about several parts. He debated texting him to ask, but he didn’t want to distract him and have him miss something. He wanted Thomas to give the movie his undivided attention and experience it properly.

When the movie ended, Thomas sent a message.

_I liked it_

Alastair didn’t bother messaging him back before he called him instead.

He wanted to hear Thomas’s tone as he talked about what he liked about it. He wanted to ask him what he thought about different parts. He wanted to tell him all about how it was the first full-length Italian movie and how it had taken over three years to make.

There was far too much to talk about to cover it in messages alone.

Thomas answered his phone on the first ring and they talked about the movie for over an hour before they hung up.

* * *

Thursday, Alastair was trying to pay attention in his first class, but Thomas’s leg was partway under his desk and Alastair was far too distracted by trying to figure out if it was intentional or not to fully follow the class discussion.

Thomas’s leg wasn’t usually that far over, was it? Or was it always there and he just hadn’t noticed it until today? Sure, he had grown a lot, but Thomas should still be able to fit his legs under his own desk, shouldn’t he?

He had to be doing it on purpose. But why? What goal could he possibly have? Was he trying to ensure Alastair had no idea what had happened in class so that he would have to go ask him for help with the homework later?

Alastair managed to stay completely still and not react for five whole minutes before the mere inch between their legs became too much and he nudged Thomas’s thigh with his knee, making sure that Thomas knew that he knew what he was doing and hinting for him to stop.

Except, that turned out to be worse than doing nothing because Thomas didn’t take the hint. He just left his leg there with Alastair’s knee pressed up against it.

Alastair lasted two whole minutes with Thomas’s warm thigh against his knee before he had to glance over at Thomas to see if he was amused with the situation and watching him for a reaction.

Thomas wasn’t looking at him at all until he seemed to feel Alastair’s eyes on him and turned to face him. Alastair turned to look back at the front of the classroom and nudged Thomas’s leg a little harder this time.

Thomas nudged his knee back and left his leg pressed there still.

This time, when Alastair snuck a look at him out of the corner of his eye, he could see the corner of Thomas’s lip quirk up into a smirk.

Well, there was no way Alastair could give him the satisfaction of pulling his leg away now. He was just going to have to leave his leg there and accept that he wasn’t going to get much out of the class today. He doubted his mark would suffer for it anyway.

Alastair let a few minutes pass, then left his heel in the same place and pivoted his foot to nudge Thomas’s shoe with his. Thomas nudged his foot back, so Alastair nudged even harder this time.

Thomas pulled his foot away and Alastair wasn’t sure whether to feel triumphant or disappointed, but he didn’t have to wonder long because as Thomas moved his leg, he shifted to lean back in his chair, and then his gigantic arm was practically brushing against Alastair’s shoulder.

Alastair turned and looked over at him, trying to judge if that was intentional, but Thomas’s eyes were locked on the teacher and Alastair couldn’t tell.

He endured Thomas’s arm’s proximity for about three grueling minutes before he gently elbowed in the arm.

Thomas laughed softly under his breath at that and Alastair was suddenly incredibly certain that even if it wasn’t intentional, Thomas was amused by the results anyway.

* * *

That evening, Alastair was spending time with Cordelia when someone knocked at the front door.

Cordelia stayed on the couch as he got up to see who it was. When he opened the door and found Charles standing there, he just stared at him in surprise for a moment. Charles had never once knocked on their front door when they were together.

“Can I come inside?” Charles asked.

“No,” Alastair said automatically.

“I need to talk to you,” Charles insisted.

“Well, I’m busy,” Alastair said. “And I don’t want to talk to you. I thought ignoring all of your calls and messages would have made that clear.”

“You’re being an idiot,” Charles growled. “Just let me talk to you.”

“If I let you talk, will you stop harassing me after?” Alastair asked.

“I wouldn’t have to harass you if you would answer me,” Charles said.

“I don’t have to answer you anymore,” Alastair said. “And the more you message me about how moronic I’m being, the more certain I am that I made the right choice ending things with you.”

“Stop pretending that decision was about me,” Charles said. “I saw you with him after school on Monday. I’ve seen you show up every morning with him. That didn’t take long. You’re an idiot if you think he’s going to be better for you.”

“Nothing’s happened with him,” Alastair insisted. “So it’s already taken longer than it took for you to move on from Ariadne and cheat on me with someone else.”

Charles laughed at the accusation. “I never cheated on you.”

“Even if something had happened with Thomas, it wouldn’t be any of your business,” Alastair said. “We’re done. I can talk to whoever I want. I can move on with whoever I want. I already spent far too much time devoted to you while the only person you were devoted to was yourself.”

“What could you possibly see in him?” Charles demanded. “You can’t stand him and his friends.”

“I think you should leave,” Alastair said.

He moved to close the door, but Charles stuck his foot out to block it from closing all the way. Charles tried to push the door further open with his forearm while Alastair kept it pinned against his foot with all of his strength.

“I’m not leaving until you admit you made a mistake ending things,” Charles said.

“Open the door,” Cordelia said.

Alastair turned to look at her confused and then saw that she had taken Cortana, their family’s decorative sword, off of the wall. His jaw dropped with his grip on the door and he took a step back to avoid getting the door slammed into his body.

Charles shoved the door open and took two steps inside the house, then hesitated as Cordelia swung the sword in a sweeping arc.

“My brother told you to leave,” she said as she stared Charles down.

Charles turned and shot Alastair an incredulous look, but Alastair said nothing.

When Charles didn’t leave, Cordelia moved closer, pointing the tip of the sword at his chest from mere inches away.

“You’re done bothering him now,” she insisted. “Go.”

“Call her off,” Charles told Alastair.

But Alastair didn’t say a word as Cordelia moved closer, effectively backing Charles out of the door. As soon as she had backed him all the way outside, she pulled the sword back and slammed the door in his face.

Alastair didn’t think he had ever loved anyone or anything more than he loved his sister at that moment.

* * *

Friday, Alastair got next to nothing out of his first class again. He was far too busy debating with himself in his head to pay proper attention to the teacher.

Spending time with Thomas without the pressure of having to overthink every word and action to make sure he didn’t send the wrong signals this week had been a massive relief and Alastair found that he quite enjoyed Thomas’s company when he didn’t have to worry about what anyone else might think about his behaviour around him. He was surprised how much he wanted to spend more time with him, even after a week of daily pockets of time alone with him.

Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Charles had said the night before about how fast he had supposedly moved on and started something new. It wasn’t like anyone other than Cordelia, Charles, and Ariadne had even known that he was with Charles, but he still worried about how it would look.

But, then again, Charles was bound to be annoyed regardless of when he moved on and with who. As he considered, he was reminded of Ariadne telling him to figure out what he wanted before it was too late and of the promise Cordelia had convinced him to make to try to do what he wanted without worrying about what Charles might think or say anymore.

After class, Alastair turned the wrong way out of the classroom so that he could walk by Thomas’s side as he asked, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“I have plans with Kit and James and Matthew,” Thomas said. “But I’m available Sunday. Why?”

“Do you want to do something Sunday then?” Alastair asked.

“Okay,” Thomas said with a smile. “I won’t have the car, but I want to spend time with you. What are we doing?”

“I’m taking you to one of my favourite places,” Alastair told him.

“And where’s that?” Thomas asked.

“It’s a surprise,” Alastair said. “You’ll find out on Sunday.”

“I can hardly wait,” Thomas said. Seemingly as an afterthought he added, “And don’t worry, I know this is just as friends, not a date. I don’t expect it to mean anything.”

“I don’t remember saying that,” Alastair said. He had to smirk at the surprised look on Thomas’s face. “I have to go to class. We can pick a time later.”

With that, Alastair turned and left Thomas standing stupefied in the middle of the hallway.

* * *

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” Ariadne asked at lunchtime.

Alastair glanced over at Thomas’s table, then looked away again when he saw both Herondales were already looking over at him.

“I have a date Sunday,” he admitted.

“Really?” She asked with a grin. “With Thomas?”

He found himself smiling back as he admitted, “Yes.”

“What about Saturday?” She asked. “Are you free to hang out with us then?”

Alastair was a little surprised to be invited to plans with the rest of her friends instead of just her, but he didn’t hate the idea.

“I should be,” he said.

* * *

“I hear you have a date,” Cordelia said that evening as she let herself into his open bedroom door.

Alastair shrugged but smiled a little. “Maybe.”

“Rumour has it you’re taking him one of your favourite places,” she said. “Everyone was trying to guess where it might be for half of the lunch hour.”

Alastair had a feeling most of Thomas’s friends' guesses probably hadn’t been particularly flattering options.

“And what was your guess?” He asked.

“I didn’t make one,” she said.

“No one thought you might have an idea of where I like to go?” He asked.

“They asked,” she said. ”But I didn’t want to accidentally spoil it if I was right.”

“You probably would have been.”

* * *

That evening, Elias had invited Jem over for dinner. Alastair would have loved to skip the entire experience and eat anywhere else but unfortunately, his attendance was mandatory.

When Jem arrived and Elias greeted him with a smile and a hug, Alastair left the room to go help his mother finish setting the table. He could still hear his father and sister gushing about Jem from the kitchen anyway, but at least he wasn’t expected to join the conversation from here.

He could already tell it was going to be a long evening.

* * *

For the first half of dinner, Alastair didn’t say a word as his father asked Jem a hundred questions, wanting to know anything and everything about his life. Alastair resisted the urge to roll his eyes at how blatantly his father took more of an interest in Jem’s life than he ever had taken in Alastair’s.

At least his father was putting on a good show of being sober for now. Alastair was both relieved and annoyed that his father could pull it together for Jem but not them. How many times had he had to convince Cordelia that his father’s drunken behaviour was a side effect of his medication making him drowsy?

Still, it was probably only a matter of time before his father would refill his own wine glass a few too many times. Alastair wondered if Jem would even notice or care if his father was fully intoxicated before dessert.

When the conversation shifted from Jem, Alastair couldn’t even feel properly relieved. Instead of going on and on about Jem, his mother had decided it was time to gush about the Herondale that had been named after him.

Sona kept asking more and more questions about James as if she was showing off Cordelia’s connection with him for Jem.

“When are you two going on your next date?” Sona asked.

“I’m not sure,” Cordelia said.

“Well, whenever it is,” Sona said. “I’m sure it will be very romantic… James is good for you. I knew he would be.”

“I have a date on Sunday,” Alastair said. “Not that anyone cares.”

He knew Cordelia was the only one who was happy for him and the only one who wouldn’t visibly blanch at the mention.

Alastair was sick of hearing his mother go on and on and on about James all the time while his whole family pretended like she was their only child with a love life. And, maybe, he was extra annoyed after listening to all of the questions his father only asked Jem, never him, on top of that.

Besides, if Jem was there, then Alastair figured no one could say anything negative about him going on another date. They cared far too much about Jem’s opinion to do anything that might be considered causing a scene in front of him.

It was silent for a moment, then Alastair added, “I’m excited about it. Not that anyone asked.”

“That’s great,” Jem said and Alastair wasn’t sure if he was more annoyed by that or by his parents’ silence.

“Where am I going with him? What will I wear? What will we do? Oh, wait. Those are questions you only ask Cordelia,” Alastair pointed out. “Since she’s in a straight relationship and her very existence doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“I think you should stay away from that boy,” Elias said. “He’s a bad influence on you.”

“Thomas,” Alastair corrected. “He has a name and I know that you know it.”

“I don’t think Thomas Lightwood is a bad influence,” Jem said. “He’s a responsible kid with a big heart. I think he’s an excellent choice.”

“I didn’t ask your opinion,” Alastair snapped as he turned to glare at Jem. “And I don’t need your approval.”

Elias dismissed their comments with a wave of his hand. “No more letting him drive you to school. I don’t want you in a car with him.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t totalled the car, I wouldn’t have had a reason to accept his rides,” Alastair muttered under his breath.

“That was an accident,” Elias insisted. “I had no responsibility in that.”

Cordelia was looking at Alastair like he was a monster for bringing up the accident and for implying it was their father’s fault. It was a good thing that she still believed he had been sick and blameless and simply passed out unexpectedly from illness and not his own irresponsible choices. But it was also a rude reminder that there were still so many things Alastair needed to hide from his sister and he was never going to be able to be truly fully honest with her.

Alastair’s bitter words died away on his lips before they could leave his mouth. The satisfaction of calling his father on just how responsible he was and just how close he had coming to killing someone because of it would be worthless when it would have to come at the expense of Cordelia’s peace of mind.

“Why shouldn’t I be in a car with him?” Alastair asked after a moment. “James drives Cordelia every day. No one has a problem with that.”

“That’s because Lucie is there with them,” Sona insisted, even though Alastair knew that wasn’t the real reason.

Elias nodded his agreement enthusiastically. “Exactly.”

Cordelia opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but Alastair spoke before she could.

“Right,” he said. “Heaven forbid I be left alone with him for the under five minutes it takes to drive to school. You know what, you’re right. I just can’t keep my clothes on on the way. It’s like a strip show every morning.”

“ _Alastair_ ,” his father said.

“If you’re worried that I might to do something impure with a man, you’re about two years late,” Alastair said. “And it had nothing to do with Thomas or his influence.”

Sona nearly choked on her water.

Elias stood up and grabbed Alastair’s plate off of the table and dumped it out into the sink.

“You’re done eating,” he said. “Go to your room.”

That suited Alastair just fine. He’d long since lost his appetite and he hadn’t wanted to be a part of this dinner in the first place anyway.

* * *

Five minutes later, there was a knock at Alastair’s door. He wasn’t sure who it was, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t want a lecture from whoever it was.

“Alastair,” called Jem from the other side.

Alastair was relieved and annoyed that it was just his cousin. He pretended he hadn’t heard him.

“Can I come in?” Jem asked.

“No,” Alastair called back through the door.

“Well then, what if I stay out here and we talk from here?” Jem asked.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Alastair told him.

“I’ll do all the talking then,” Jem said. “You just have to listen and when you want me to leave, you can tell me to go away.”

“Go away,” Alastair said without hesitation.

He was expecting Jem to keep talking, but it was silent for a long moment. He was certain Jem was still on the other side of the door, trying to wait him out.

Well, there was no way Alastair was going to call out to check if he was still there.

Finally, after what felt like several minutes, he got up from his bed and headed over to the door.

“I said leave me alo-” Alastair started as he yanked the door open, but he stopped when he saw that his doorway was empty. Jem had listened and left him alone after all.

* * *

Alastair was still lying in his room avoiding his entire family when Thomas texted him that he had watched another one of the movies he had listed for him. Alastair didn’t even bother messaging him back, just called him as soon as he read the message.

“Hello,” Thomas answered on the second ring.

“Did you like it?” Alastair asked in lieu of a proper greeting.

“I did,” Thomas said. His voice sounded amused.

In the background, Alastair heard Matthew’s voice say something incoherent and then James’ laugh. If they were there, it was a given that Christopher must be too.

“Oh,” he said. “You’re not alone.”

“No,” Thomas agreed. “It’s movie night.”

“So you made them watch a movie that I suggested?” Alastair asked.

“It was more than my turn to choose,” Thomas said and Alastair was reminded of Thomas saying he didn’t watch many movies because he was indifferent to most of them. “And I have a whole list to get through. Don’t I?”

Alastair smiled to himself at that.

“I distinctly remember saying it wasn’t a checklist,” he pointed out. “You don’t have to watch them all.”

“Maybe,” Thomas said. “But I want to. Besides, someone told me that older movies are usually shorter.”

“Your friends are going to be shocked at your sudden development of taste,” Alastair told him.

Thomas laughed directly into the phone and it was Alastair’s new favourite sound.

“You’re busy,” Alastair said. “We can talk about the movie later.”

“I’m sleeping here tonight, but I’ll call you when I’m not busy sometime tomorrow,” Thomas said.

“I have plans with Ariadne tomorrow,” Alastair said. “So if I don’t answer it will because I’m still with her, but I’ll call you back after.”

“Okay,” Thomas said.

“Good night, giant,” Alastair said after a moment.

“Good night, tiny.”


	10. Chapter 10

Alastair had been a bit worried that his plans Saturday would feel like Ariadne had brought him along without any of her friends’ approval. He went into the day ready to make up an excuse to leave early if he felt like her friends didn’t want him there but instead, he spent most of the day with them.

He hadn’t gotten anything when they had gone shopping, but looking around with them wasn’t the worst thing and he was relieved that he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t spending money at any of the stores they went to.

Afterward, they went back to Ariadne’s place and Thomas called a few minutes after Ariadne ordered pizza. Part of Alastair wanted to answer Thomas’s call, but a bigger part of him wanted to have a conversation with him when there would be no time limit, instead of a rushed one with other people around that would have to end when the pizza arrived.

For a moment, he considered leaving Ariadne’s place early, but he was surprised that he didn’t really want to. He had already told Thomas he would call him back later and so they could talk then if he was still with Ariadne when he called. There would be plenty of time to talk to Thomas later.

* * *

By the time that Thomas and Alastair were both available for a phone call at the same time, it was nighttime already. Alastair settled into his bed before calling him.

Thomas picked up on the second ring and Alastair could hear the smile in his voice as he answered, “Hello.”

“Hey,” Alastair said. “How were your awful plans?”

“They were really good,” Thomas said, sounding totally undeterred by Alastair calling them awful. “We had a lot of fun.”

“I’m glad you had fun,” Alastair said. He left it unspoken that he hoped Thomas and Thomas only had fun. He didn’t particularly care to hear details about Thomas’s time spent with his friends, so he added, “But now I want to hear all about what you thought of the movie.”

Thomas laughed softly and then started talking about his favourite parts and his reactions to different scenes. Alastair listened to it all eagerly, interjecting here and there to add trivia and his own thoughts to the conversation.

They’d been talking for over an hour when Alastair hadn’t said anything for a while and Thomas asked, “Are you still there?”

“Yes,” Alastair said, stifling a yawn. It was getting harder to stay awake, but he didn’t want to hang up. “Why? Are you tired?”

“No,” Thomas said. “Are you?”

“No,” Alastair lied. “Keep talking.”

* * *

Alastair woke up disoriented and confused the next morning. Something was digging into his shoulder. When he investigated, he found his phone and remembered the call with Thomas the night before.

For a moment, he was worried that the call had never ended, but when he checked his phone he saw that Thomas must have hung up when he realized he had fallen asleep. He’d also sent a text.

_Good night :)_

Alastair considered for a moment, then sent a message back.

_Good morning_

* * *

When it got close to time to leave for his date, Alastair burst into his sister’s open bedroom.

“What do you think of this?” He asked.

She looked over at him, then furrowed her brow in confusion. “Of what?”

“The outfit,” he said. “Never mind. That’s obviously a no.”

He turned to leave, but she called after him.

“It looks good,” she insisted. “I just didn’t know what you were asking about.”

Alastair went back to his own room and looked in the mirror for a moment unconvinced, then looked back in his closet again.

Two minutes later, he was back in Cordelia’s room, holding a shirt and pair of pants up in front of himself.

“What about this instead?” He asked.

“That looks good too,” she said.

“That’s what you said about the last one,” Alastair pointed out.

“They both look good,” she told him.

“You’re no help at all.”

And yet, a few minutes later, he found himself back in her room, laying out two more outfits on her bed. “What about these?” When she opened her mouth, he quickly cut her off to add, “And don’t say good.”

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” She asked. “That’s what this is.”

“Just answer the question,” he said.

“Either one would look nice,” she said and Alastair resisted the urge to roll his eyes at how much that didn’t help narrow things down at all. ”You know he’s not going to be worried about what you’re wearing, right?”

Alastair glanced at her for a moment, then back at the clothes on the bed. “I’ve never been on a real date before. I don’t know what to wear for one.”

Was he supposed to dress differently for it? Or would that be weird? What would Thomas wear? What if his outfit made no sense with Thomas’s?

“Just dress how you normally would for where you’re going,” she suggested. “In something you like.”

Alastair considered for a moment then left the room and came back with a fifth outfit.

“What about this?”

“I like that one too,” she said.

Alastair considered for a moment, then picked all of his clothes back up and carried them back to his own room.

Five minutes later, he was Facetiming Ariadne to get her second opinion on the outfits he had laid out in his own room now while he wondered why he hadn’t bought new clothes when he was with her the day before.

“They all look good to me,” Ariadne said.

“You’re just as bad as Cordelia,” he accused. “How is that supposed to help me choose?”

“I don’t think it matters what you choose,” she insisted. “I’m sure Thomas would like you in anything you could wear. He’d probably like you in nothing too.”

Alastair found that line of thought even _less_ helpful, but he didn’t admit that.

“Does that help?” Ariadne asked.

“Yes. Thank you,” he said, despite the fact that he felt no less confused than he had felt before calling her.

* * *

Eventually, Alastair settled on the outfit he had first shown Cordelia. Now, he was waiting by the window in the living room for Thomas to show up. Unfortunately, Elias was also in the living room. He had yet to say anything, but Alastair was intent on spotting Thomas the moment he arrived and getting outside with him as quickly as possible.

When Thomas did arrive, Alastair was out the door in a matter of seconds and he met him halfway down the driveway.

“Hey,” Thomas said. “You look good.”

Alastair didn’t know if his father was looking or coming, but he didn’t want to waste time looking back over his shoulder to check. He was reminded of his admission in front of his family on Friday and he quickly grabbed Thomas by the hand and started walking fast, dragging him down the driveway.

“Let’s go,” he said, gripping onto Thomas’s hand tighter than was strictly necessary.

With his long strides, Thomas was able to keep up with Alastair’s quick steps so easily that it would have annoyed Alastair if it hadn’t suited his best interest in that moment.

Once they were off of his street, Alastair slowed down and loosened his grip on Thomas’s hand, but didn’t let go. When he turned to look at Thomas, he found him grinning down at their intertwined hands. Alastair still didn’t pull away.

“You asked me about how my weekend was going so far last night,” Thomas pointed out. “But I didn’t get a chance to ask about yours. How has it been?”

Alastair shrugged. “Yesterday was nice with Ariadne and her friends. Friday, Jem came over for dinner. It was horribly dull.”

“What did you do with them yesterday?” Thomas asked.

“We looked around the mall and then went back to Ariadne’s house and had pizza,” Alastair admitted.

“That sounds nice,” Thomas said. After a moment he asked, “When do I get to find out where we’re going?”

“When we get there.”

* * *

“So, did any of your friends guess right?” Alastair asked as they walked into a museum filled with art.

Thomas looked surprised. “You heard about that?”

“Cordelia told me,” he said.

“Well, surprisingly, Kit was the closest with his guess of museum of natural sciences,” Thomas said with a laugh. “But I think that was more wishful thinking on his part.”

“Wishful thinking?”

“It would make talking about my date afterward much more interesting for him,” Thomas explained.

“He’s not the one I want it to be interesting for,” Alastair pointed out.

Thomas laughed. “Anything would be interesting with you.”

* * *

They went through the museum piece by piece, stopping to talk about each. Alastair pointed out each of his favourites and told Thomas everything he liked about the pieces and everything he knew about them outside of what was posted next to them.

Thomas talked about what he liked about pieces too and at first, Alastair thought that what he was hearing was Thomas’s first reactions, until they had been walking around for over an hour when Thomas said that a painting Alastair had been talking about for the last ten minutes had always been his favourite.

Alastair looked at him surprised. “You’ve been here before?”

Thomas blushed pink to the tips of his ears and Alastair couldn’t look away. It hardly seemed fair that Thomas could be that attractive and have the ability to become so adorable so easily.

“It’s one of my favourite places too,” he admitted.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Alastair asked. “I’ve been talking about everything like you’ve never seen it before.” He was mildly embarrassed that he had been playing tour guide for over an hour with no idea that Thomas probably knew the whole place just as well as him.

Thomas shrugged. “You were excited to show me around. And I like listening to you talk about the way you see things.”

Alastair smiled at him. For a moment, he considered kissing Thomas, but then he remembered all of the people around them and grabbed Thomas’s hand to drag him to the next piece instead. He found it much harder to focus his full attention on the art when he had Thomas there to look at too.

* * *

Apparently, Thomas was having a hard time focusing on the art too because half an hour later, as Alastair told him all about the reasons a piece was his very favourite, Thomas’s eyes were glued to his face instead of the painting.

“You’re not even looking at it,” Alastair pointed out.

“I’m looking at something better,” Thomas told him.

“The man who painted it is rolling over in his grave I’m sure,” Alastair said.

“That’s only because he hasn’t seen you,” Thomas insisted.

Alastair could feel his cheeks getting warm and part of him wanted to hide his face, but he couldn’t make himself look away from Thomas.

Thomas gently pulled him closer by the hand and this time when Thomas’s gaze shifted to his mouth, Alastair caught on much faster.

Alastair had to stretch up to reach with his free hand on Thomas’s shoulder to steady himself. For a moment, there was something almost comedic about him having to stand on his tiptoes to reach Thomas Lightwood’s mouth, but then they were kissing and suddenly there was nothing funny about it.

Alastair couldn’t remember a kiss making him feel like this before. Kissing Thomas was so much more gentle and there was nothing rushed about it.

When Thomas pulled away, Alastair couldn’t even mock his dopey grin because he could feel himself smiling stupidly too. He could hardly believe that Thomas had kissed him at all, let alone in public. There were fewer people around in this part of the museum, but there was something that felt significant about Thomas kissing him there anyway.

Thomas turned to finally look at the painting and Alastair was still giddy enough from the kiss that it took him a moment to realize what Thomas meant when he said,“It is beautiful too though.”

* * *

They explored the entire museum, talking at length about every single piece until they ran out of art to view.

“Are you hungry?” Thomas asked as they left.

“Yes,” Alastair said, glad for the excuse to spend more time with him.

“You showed me one of your favourite places, now I get to show you one of mine,” Thomas said.

Alastair didn’t argue that the museum had been one of Thomas’s favourites too. He just let him lead the way.

* * *

Thomas took him to a bistro that he liked. Alastair didn’t think there was anything particularly special about it, but he did enjoy the company. Even after they finished eating, they talked about anything and everything for so long that the wait staff had to practically kick them out so they could open up their table for other customers and yet Alastair easily could have stayed even longer.

As they left the restaurant, Alastair offered to walk Thomas home. It was partly because he wanted to and partly because he knew Thomas’s house was the further of the two from where they were.

On the way back to Thomas’s place, Alastair found himself walking slower than usual. Thomas didn’t seem to be in any sort of rush to end their date either. He was walking just as slowly and he made no comment when Alastair took a longer route than was necessary

When they did reach Thomas’s house, they paused at the end of the driveway.

Alastair glanced over at the house, relieved to not see anyone peering out the windows this time, then turned his attention back on Thomas.

“Today was really great,” Thomas said with a giddy smile.

“It was,” Alastair agreed and he liked how Thomas’s smile somehow grew a little wider.

He didn’t want to leave without kissing him again, so he moved closer and stretched up to wrap his arms around Thomas’s broad shoulders. Thomas set his hands on Alastair’s hips and then they were kissing again and Alastair felt butterflies just as strongly as he had at the museum.

“I think we should go on another date sometime,” Alastair said when he pulled back but left his arms lingering there. He was very aware of Thomas’s hands still on his hips.

“I’d like that,” Thomas said. “A lot.”

* * *

Alastair couldn’t stop thinking about the date and how Thomas had called him beautiful the entire way back to his house.

When he did get home, Cordelia popped her head into Alastair’s room a few minutes later as if she had been waiting for him to return.

“So?” She asked. “How did it go?”

Alastair smiled to himself. “It was good.” _Really good_ he thought to himself but didn’t say it. “It was a real date. The kind where we went places and he wasn’t afraid to be seen with me. The kind I’ve never been on before.”

Cordelia smiled back at him. “That’s what you deserve.”

“And I didn’t have to stress about how to keep him from making a move or about what he might think I want or what Charles might think,” Alastair said. “I didn’t even have to leave abruptly for once.”

“Did he make a move?” She asked. “Does that mean that you didn’t dodge him this time?”

“I’m never telling you anything again,” Alastair lied. “And no. I practically had to stand on his feet to reach him, but no one practically got a concussion trying to stop the kiss from happening this time.”

Cordelia smirked at him and he pulled a pillow out from behind her head to throw at her. Disappointingly, she caught it instead of being hit in the face with it.

“You really like him, don’t you?” She asked.

Alastair didn’t acknowledge it but didn’t deny it either.

* * *

Later that night, Alastair was helping his mother wash dishes when she asked, “How was your date?”

He paused and looked at her confused.

“You were right,” she said. “I have only been asking about Layla and James. I should have been asking about you too. So I’m trying now. How was your date?”

“It was good,” he told her a little hesitantly.

“What did you do?” She asked.

“I took him to look at art,” Alastair said. “He took me to a restaurant he thought was amazing that was really just okay. We sat talking for a long time after we ate.”

“Is he nice to you?” Sona asked.

“Annoyingly nice,” he told her.

“What does that mean?” She asked.

“Nothing,” he said. After a moment, he added, “He’s much nicer than the last one. I’ve never met anyone else as unconditionally nice.”

“That sounds like a good thing,” she pointed out.

“I think it is,” he agreed.

* * *

Alastair was barely in Thomas’s car Monday morning before Thomas was kissing him.

“Good morning,” Thomas said as he pulled away. Alastair’s heart raced at the sight of his smile.

“Good morning,” Alastair echoed.

“I didn’t bring coffee, but we can get it on the way to school,” Thomas said. “I’m getting some for James and Kit and Matthew anyway.”

A few minutes later, they stopped for coffee and Thomas ordered for both of them plus three more for his friends. He knew all of their orders by heart.

When the coffees were ready, he stuck his and Alastair’s in the cupholders and held the other three in the coffee tray that they had been handed to him in as if he intended to drive that way. Alastair wondered how many times he had.

“Here,” Alastair said and held his hand out for the tray. He had no interest in helping bring Thomas’s friends coffee, but he didn’t want Thomas burning himself on the way to school.

“Thanks,” Thomas said as he handed it over.

* * *

Alastair handed the extra coffees back to Thomas in the parking lot when they stopped at school. Thomas set his drink back in the tray so that it would be easier to carry. Alastair suspected that wasn’t the only reason though as Thomas walked close enough for his knuckles to brush against Alastair’s with every step.

Alastair was surprised by having that physical contact at school, but it was nice. He liked that Thomas wasn’t too worried about the thought of someone noticing.

They were halfway across the parking lot when Alastair caught Thomas’s knuckles between his. They weren’t really holding hands, but their hands were connected more subtly, back to back, and only intertwined at the knuckles.

They walked like that until they turned into a hallway where James, Matthew, and Christopher were standing gathered at Christopher’s locker halfway down the hallway. All three of them looked up at them, then Matthew’s eyes dropped to their hands.

Alastair let go of Thomas’s knuckles and turned to face him. “I have to go talk to Jem about something. I’ll see you in class.”

He didn’t wait for Thomas’s response before he slipped away.

* * *

Jem looked surprised when Alastair walked right up to his desk instead of ignoring him on his way over to a table or bookshelf. The library was empty except for them.

“You didn’t hear anything on Friday,” Alastair warned him.

“I haven’t told anyone about anything that was said,” Jem assured him. “And I have no plans to.”

“Forget you even heard any of it,” Alastair insisted. The last thing he needed was Jem telling Will or Henry about his outburst and either of their children finding out.

“If that’s what you want,” Jem said. “But I think you should know that there was nothing wrong with anything you said.”

This time Alastair didn’t say he didn’t need Jem’s approval or ask for his opinion. He only hesitated for a split second before he turned to leave.

“Alastair,” Jem said. Alastair was planning to keep walking and ignore his cousin, but he slowed when Jem added, “I’m with Will.”

Alastair stopped and turned to look at him. “He has a wife.”

He hadn’t realized that Will Herondale was an adult version of Charles.

“I have enough room in my heart for more than one person,” Jem told him. “So do they.”

Alastair just stared at him for a long moment. He was certain there was no way that his father knew, or else Jem couldn’t possibly still be the golden boy in his eyes.

“Why are you telling me this?” Alastair asked.

“Because I think you should know it,” Jem said. “And because I’m not ashamed of loving them.”

Alastair stared at him for a moment longer, then turned and left the library without another word. He still had no idea why Jem had felt the need to tell him.

* * *

At lunch, Alastair sat at what was quickly becoming his new regular table.

“How was the date?” Ariadne asked as he sat down.

“Better than I expected,” Alastair said.

“I take it that means you didn’t have to cancel because you couldn’t choose an outfit,” she said with a laugh.

Alastair rolled his eyes. “I never said I was going to cancel.”

“Which outfit did you go with?” Ariadne asked.

“The first one.”

* * *

After school, Alastair was on his way to the GSA meeting with Ariadne when Matthew, James, and Christoper cut them off just outside the doorway. It was clear they had been waiting for him there.

“What do you want?” He asked.

“If this is some kind of game for you, you’d better end it now,” Matthew warned.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Alastair lied. He was certain that Matthew was talking about Thomas, but he wanted to annoy him by playing dumb.

“Kit’s very good at starting fires,” Matthew warned, although Alastair wasn’t certain if good was exactly the correct term considering the only two he had heard about had been unintentional. “If I were you, I would be careful not to hurt Tom.”

“That seems like a particularly impractical way to get back at me,” Alastair pointed out. “What are you going to do? Burn down my house that Cordelia lives in too? And then be arrested for arson? I thought you were supposed to be my sister’s friend. Or are you planning to set me personally on fire? I can’t say I expect she’d care for that much either.”

Alastair glanced at James and Christopher, but neither said anything. They were just there to stand behind Matthew while he did all the talking. Alastair wondered if his sister knew James was there. Maybe, she was why he was keeping so silent.

“The point is if you hurt him, we’ll hurt you a lot worse,” Matthew insisted.

“Are you done now?” Alastair asked. He felt no need to convince any of them of his intentions with Thomas. He couldn’t care less what any of them thought of him and he didn’t need to prove himself or reassure them to earn the right to spend time with Thomas.

Matthew glanced at James as if looking for backup.

“If you’re waiting for me to threaten James, I don’t need to,” Alastair said when they didn’t leave. “Cordelia has a sword and I’ve seen her use it. If he hurts her, she’s perfectly capable of breaking him herself.” He turned to Ariadne as he added, “I’m ready to go, are you?”

With that, he and Ariadne walked around them and into the meeting.

* * *

After the meeting, Alastair went outside to watch the end of Thomas’s practice while he waited for him. He went alone since Ariadne had been busy talking to Anna when he had left.

He had only been on the bleachers a couple of minutes when he saw Charles and Grace leave in his car together. That wasn’t particularly surprising.

More surprising was a moment later when Ariadne and Anna came out to the parking lot together and both got into Anna’s car. Alastair smiled a little to himself, glad that Ariadne seemed to be having some luck at getting Anna back.

Alastair didn’t realize how unfortunate them leaving together was for him until a few minutes later when Matthew and Christopher walked out of the school. James was already gone with Cordelia and Lucie and both of their siblings had left without them so they headed over to the bleachers, probably planning to get a ride home with Thomas, and Alastair was tempted to get up and leave with no explanation as to why he wasn’t waiting for Thomas anymore.

At least they sat far away from him, but Alastair couldn’t even properly enjoy watching the end of Thomas’s practice anymore as they chattered away and it became impossible to ignore their existence.

He pulled out a book to pretend it was possible anyway and he was relieved when the practice ended a little early so he could stop pretending he was reading.

“Tom, we need a ride,” Matthew said as soon as Thomas approached the bleachers. “We already told Anna you were driving us so that she wouldn’t have an excuse not to leave with Ariadne.”

“Okay,” Thomas said. “I just need to shower first.”

Alastair closed his book and stood up, heading down the bleachers as he said, “I’ll walk home.”

Thomas furrowed his brow in confusion and said, “I can drive you all.”

“I’d rather walk,” Alastair insisted.

He didn’t wait for an answer, just turned to walk. He thought Thomas had dropped the subject until he jogged up to him when he was halfway to the parking lot.

“Hey,” Thomas said. “Seriously, I can drive you still. They know we came together, it’s not like they didn’t expect you to be there too.”

Alastair was certain they were both relieved he was walking instead of driving with them. Matthew was probably glad to not have to spend time with him and to have a free conversation topic about Alastair being the jerk for walking home instead of putting up with them.

“It’s fine,” Alastair said. “Go spend time with your friends. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Thomas hesitated for a moment, then said, “Alright. See you tomorrow morning.”

* * *

“Are you doing anything after school today?” Thomas asked when he picked him up the next morning.

“Did you have something in mind?” Alastair asked.

Thomas shrugged. “I thought maybe we could read that new book for class together. If you want to.”

Alastair was a little surprised by the suggestion after how spectacularly wrong that activity had gone at the end of the night last time, but he had enjoyed the evening before it had taken that turn. Plus, this time if Thomas tried to kiss him, he would just kiss him back instead of having to dodge him and flee the building.

“I’d like that,” he said, then added, “I didn’t bring my book today though. I didn’t think I’d need it.”

“That’s alright,” Thomas said. “We can share mine.”

* * *

In their class together, they had a test on the last book and couldn’t talk to each other at all.

Alastair was on the third question, when Thomas shifted and pushed his leg under Alastair’s desk, pressing his knee against Alastair’s

At first, Alastair was totally distracted from his test but after a minute, he was able to focus back on the question he was on. He was certain if Thomas moved at all he would be distracted all over again though.

Alastair didn’t nudge him or pull away, so they stayed like that for the rest of the class. Even so, Alastair was disappointed when Thomas pulled his knee away and stood up as the bell rang.

“How do you think you did?” Thomas asked as they left the classroom together.

“It was easy so well,” Alastair said. He should have turned the other way to go to his own class, but he decided to walk to Thomas’s next class with him first.

* * *

“I saw you leave with Anna yesterday,” Alastair pointed out at lunch the next day. “Does that mean things are fixed between you?”

“Fixed? I don’t think so,” she said. “But are we maybe on the way to her giving me a chance to try to fix them? I hope so.”

“Have you talked about it with her at all?” Alastair asked.

“I’ve talked,” she said. “And she’s listened which is more than I really have the right to expect from her after what I put her through. I’m hoping that’s a good sign.”

“I am too,” Alastair said.

* * *

Alastair was more relieved than usual when the school day finally ended. He met Thomas at his locker and they walked to his car together, close enough that their arms brushed together the whole way.

When they got into the car, Alastair glanced around quickly to make sure no one was paying attention to them, then leaned across the car to kiss him.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” Alastair said when he pulled back.

“So have I,” Thomas said and then he kissed him again.

* * *

They went to Thomas’s house to read again and this time, they headed straight to Thomas’s room instead of trying the kitchen first.

Thomas closed the door and got his book out, then laid down on his bed again.

Alastair sat down on the bed next to him, then told him, “Sit up.”

Thomas didn’t hesitate or ask why. He just set the book down beside him and adjusted the pillows so that they would support his back as he sat up instead of lounging mostly lying down.

Alastair considered for a moment, then said, “Move your legs.”

When Thomas looked at him confused, Alastair set a hand on Thomas’s knee closest to him and gently pulled his leg over a little. Thomas followed his lead, although he looked no less confused now.

Alastair picked Thomas’s book up off of the bed and climbed over one of Thomas’s legs to sit between it and his other leg, then leaned back against Thomas’s chest.

“There,” Alastair said as he cracked the book open and tried to pretend that he wasn’t hyperaware of how solid Thomas’s chest was or of the heat of it against his back. “Now, you have no excuse to not follow along.”

As Alastair began reading the first chapter aloud, Thomas wrapped his arms loosely around Alastair’s waist and Alastair had to actively force himself to keep track of where he was on the page.

Thomas’s arms were big and warm and Alastair liked being in them, especially when they’d been sitting like that for a few minutes and he found it a little easier to focus again.

That focus went out the window moments later though when Thomas unwrapped one of his arms and ran his fingers through the side of Alastair’s hair to tuck a stray strand behind his ear. Alastair found himself saying the words on the page, but not understanding them as a whole as he tried not to falter at the touch. He wondered if Thomas could feel how much more rapidly his heart was beating from such a small action.

Once he’d gotten Alastair’s hair tucked where he wanted, Thomas wrapped his arm back around him. He pulled both arms a little tighter and pulled Alastair a little closer so that he could comfortably set his chin on Alastair’s shoulder while he followed along.

Thomas’s hair tickled Alastair’s ear and Alastair fumbled over a word, but quickly recovered. If Thomas noticed, he didn’t say anything about it.

They read another chapter like that and Alastair was just starting to retain some of what he was saying when Thomas derailed that all over again by shifting to kiss his shoulder through his shirt.

Alastair could feel goosebumps run all the way up his arms, but at least he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt so hopefully, they wouldn’t be noticeable to Thomas. He kept reading, struggling to focus on the page and not on where Thomas’s chin back on his shoulder, but he lost his place altogether when Thomas turned his head to kiss his neck.

“Must you be so distracting for this entire book?” Alastair asked, feeling the goosebumps spread across his neck now too.

“Do you want me to stop?” Thomas asked.

“No,” Alastair admitted. “I like it.”

“Then yes,” Thomas said with a chuckle that Alastair could feel against his neck.

Alastair was definitely going to have to reread all of this later.


	11. Chapter 11

“Are you going to the game again tonight?” Alastair asked Ariadne at lunchtime on Wednesday. He wanted to go watch Thomas, but he had zero intention of sitting with Thomas’s friends again.

“I could go again,” Ariadne said as she glanced over at where Anna was sitting at her cousins’ table.

“The football game?” Piers asked. “I’ll come too.”

Alastair hadn’t really meant to invite him along and was surprised that he wanted to go too.

“It could be fun to go as a group,” Catherine agreed and looked around the table.

“I’ll go if you go,” Rosamund told Catherine.

“I’m in,” Thoby said with a shrug.

Alastair wasn’t sure whether he was more glad that they all wanted to join him or worried about being around Thomas with them all there.

* * *

Ariadne drove Alastair to the game that evening and they met the rest of their friends in the bleachers. Matthew didn’t say anything about them showing up together this time.

Alastair looked around as the game started and he was relieved that Charles and Grace hadn’t shown up this time. Thomas’s crowd had grown though. His parents and sisters were sitting near where Thomas’s friend group was sitting. James and Matthew were chatting about something while Lucie told an animated story to Cordelia. Christopher and Anna were sitting backward in the bleachers, talking with their aunt and uncle. Alastair quickly looked away, hoping not to be noticed by Thomas’s family.

Catherine was chattering away about which were the most attractive players on the team and Rosamund was debating her choices. Alastair thought it must be a relief for Ariadne to not need to play along and pretend to be attracted to men anymore.

Alastair stayed silent as Catherine and Rosamund argued, but he thought that they both must be blind to only rank Thomas third instead of putting him at the front of the list where he rightfully belonged.

* * *

About ten minutes into the game, Anna came over and Alastair was surprised when she sat down next to him instead of beside Ariadne.

“So, you and Thomas,” she said.

“If you’re here to tell me about how your brother’s supposedly going to set me on fire if I mess things up, Matthew already covered that,” Alastair said in a bored tone.

“That wasn’t exactly what I was going to say,” she said.

He looked away from the field and turned to her, but said nothing.

“Tom has a big heart,” Anna said. “He sees the best in people and focuses on that over what’s really there. If you’re going to be with him, then don’t take advantage of that. Try to live up to it. But if you’re going to break his heart, then do it now. Before he has the chance to get any more invested and end up hurt any worse.”

Alastair looked at her for a moment as he considered her words and what he knew about what had happened between her and Ariadne.

“I’m not planning to hurt him,” he said.

“Alright,” Anna said and with that, she got up and went back to sit with her friends and family again.

* * *

Halfway through the game, Ariadne got up the nerve to go sit next to Anna. Alastair was worried Anna might not want her there around her friends, but Anna didn’t seem to object when the other girl sat down next to her.

Alastair spent the rest of the game sitting and talking about the game with the rest of their friends. He hadn’t minded sitting with Cordelia last time, but he found his new friends much better company than his sister’s.

Unfortunately, he was still close enough to nearly be deafened by the sound of Thomas’s friends’ obnoxious screams every time he scored or made a particularly good play. Thomas’s family wasn’t quite as loud with their cheers, but they were equally enthusiastic. Alastair was a little secondhand embarrassed by it all, but Thomas seemed to enjoy it considering how he grinned over at them every time James and Matthew started up again.

* * *

Alastair was surprised when after the game, Thomas headed straight over to him out of all of the people there.

He got up and met Thomas at the bottom of the bleachers. With Thomas standing on the ground and Alastair standing on the bottom bench, Alastair was a little taller than him for the first time since his growth spurt.

“You came,” Thomas said.

“I wanted to,” Alastair admitted this time.

Thomas smiled up at him and Alastair’s breath hitched. Alastair tried to pretend there wasn’t anyone else there as he pushed Thomas’s sweaty hair back into place with his fingers.

“Rumour has it you’re the third most attractive player on the team,” Alastair told him.

“Only the third?” Thomas joked.

He moved a little closer and Alastair set a hand on his shoulder, partly to keep him standing on the ground where he was shorter and partly as a way to show physical affection that wasn’t completely out of his comfort zone with so many people around.

“Rumours aren’t always true,” Alastair said. “And Rosamund and Catherine’s rankings are questionable at best.”

“Where would you rank me then?” Thomas asked.

“What makes you think I’ve even noticed your teammates past you?” Alastair asked.

Thomas’s smile spread into a grin and his eyes flickered to Alastair’s lips for a moment.

Although they were at much more practical heights for kissing with Alastair standing on the bleachers, he didn’t want everyone they knew watching them kiss, so he told him, “Your fan section is waiting.”

Thomas glanced over in the direction that his friends and family were sitting and Alastair slipped his hand from Thomas’s shoulder as he turned to look too.

As Thomas headed over to talk with them, Alastair went back over to his friends to wait for Ariadne since she was his ride.

He ignored most of what Thomas’s friends and family said about the game and how well Thomas had played, but he looked over at their area when he heard Thomas’s father tell him, “Go shower, and then you’re coming with me. I have a surprise for you.”

Thomas was smiling as he asked, “What kind of surprise?”

“It’s a _surprise_ ,” Gideon insisted. “I can’t tell you.”

* * *

On the way to school the next morning, Alastair considered asking Thomas about what his father’s surprise had been, but he decided against it. When he asked Thomas questions about his family or day or whatever else, Thomas generally asked him similar questions in return.

Alastair did not need to set Thomas up to ask him about his own father or his relationship with him. So instead, Alastair spent the entire car ride to school telling Thomas an embarrassing story about Cordelia as a child.

* * *

On the way into the school, Alastair got stopped by Jem. He had no desire to have a conversation with his cousin in front of Thomas, so he told Thomas that he would meet him at his locker.

“What do you want?” Alastair asked once Thomas was gone.

“How are things going at home?” Jem asked.

Alastair wasn’t sure whether to be glad or horrified that someone was finally asking. He was glad his cousin only knew about his father’s feelings about him and Thomas and not about his drinking problem.

“They’re fine,” Alastair said.

“Are you sure?” Jem asked and Alastair didn’t particularly care for the way he was studying his face.

“Positive,” Alastair said. He didn’t want Jem to ask anything else, so he quickly added, “Thomas is waiting for me.”

Jem didn’t make any move to stop him as he left.

* * *

It was just Alastair’s luck that he could hardly see Thomas at his locker past the crowd that had formed around him.

“I can’t believe _you_ got a tattoo,” Matthew said with a laugh as Alastair got closer.

“What’s the point of getting a tattoo if you won’t show us!” Lucie complained. “It’s just cruel!”

Alastair immediately regretted not asking Thomas what he had done after the game as he shoved his way past Thomas’s friends.

Thomas looked up at him when he got closer.

“Is it because it’s somewhere unmentionable?” Lucie asked.

“ _No_ ,” Thomas said and he flushed bright red.

“I’d like to see it,” Alastair said quietly.

Thomas glanced at him, then Lucie, then back at him as he considered for a moment before he pulled the sleeve of his sweater up. The tattoo was still bandaged beneath, but Thomas untaped it and moved the bandage out of the way so they could see.

“Oh, sure, you show it now that your boyfriend asked,” James said with a laugh.

Alastair wasn’t sure if that was another test after how he had reacted to that word last time, but he didn’t care. He ignored James altogether as he grabbed Thomas’s forearm in both hands, careful not to touch the tattoo as he took a long look at it.

He tried to ignore everyone else as they leaned closer to get a look too.

“I told you it would look good,” Alastair said as he let go of Thomas’s arm and glanced up at him.

Thomas was smiling, but Alastair couldn’t tell if it was because of what he’d said about the tattoo or because he hadn’t corrected James’ assumption. Alastair couldn’t help but notice that Thomas hadn’t corrected it either.

“You knew he was going to get it?” Christopher asked.

“I thought it was an impulse tattoo,” Matthew said.

“He told me his plan for it weeks ago,” Alastair said. He got a smug sense of satisfaction that Thomas had told him and apparently not any of his friends.

Thomas blushed a little again as he covered his forearm with the bandage.

“I think it looks lovely, Thomas,” Cordelia said.

Alastair was relieved when the bell rang and the others had to head to their own classes.

* * *

When they got to class, Alastair had a hundred questions he wanted to ask Thomas.

“How does your arm feel?” He asked as they sat down.

“A bit sore, but not too bad,” Thomas said. “It was a lot worse when I was getting it.”

“Was it unbearable while you were being tattooed?” Alastair asked.

“It hurt, but it wasn’t unbearable,” Thomas said. “And my dad distracted me while it was being done.”

“He took you after the game?”

“I told him about the idea two days ago,” Thomas said. “I didn’t expect him to take me to get it and to pay for it.”

Alastair still had several more questions about when Thomas had gotten the tattoo and about the healing process, but his next one was cut off as the teacher began the class.

* * *

At lunchtime, Alastair sent Thomas a message. _I can’t stop thinking about your tattoo_.

He watched Thomas pull out his phone and smile from across the cafeteria. He didn’t wait for Thomas to send a message back before he sent another.

_How long do you have to keep the bandage on?_

Thomas looked over at him, then typed an answer.

_I’ll have it off tomorrow_

Alastair suddenly very much looked forward to the next day.

_Are you busy tomorrow?_

_Because you want to look at my tattoo more?_

_Not just that. There’s a theatre that plays classic movies and one of my favourites is on tomorrow_

_Then I guess I have plans to see it with you_

* * *

Friday morning, Alastair had barely made it three steps out of the washroom before Cordelia popped her head out of her room to smirk at him.

“What?” He asked.

“You were singing in the shower again,” she said.

“I was not,” he lied.

“Yes you were,” she insisted. “I heard you. You’re not a quiet singer.”

“So?” He asked because he doubted he could convince her that what she had heard was something else.

He was already planning to never sing in this house again when she said, “So, it’s nice. It’s been such a long time since I’ve heard you sing. I missed it.”

Alastair wasn’t sure what to say to that. He had used to sing a lot before he had grown too embarrassed and started avoiding singing around anyone else.

“Don’t get used to it,” he said finally.

* * *

Thomas kissed Alastair on sight when he got into the car a few minutes later.

“Every morning I’m surprised when you do that,” Alastair laughed.

“You are?” Thomas asked. “Why?”

There was no way Alastair was going to bring up that he had been with someone else before him that would never have driven him to school or kissed him good morning when there was even the slightest risk that somebody else might see.

Alastair shrugged. “I like it. I’m just not used to it yet.”

Thomas kissed him again before he pulled out of the driveway. “Well, I’m going to keep doing it, so there’s plenty of time for you to get used to it.” Thomas seemed distracted for a moment, then he said, “Tomorrow’s another movie night. And I was wondering if you wanted to come.”

“With your friends?” Alastair asked. “Why would I ever want to put myself through that?”

“You don’t have to like them,” Thomas said. “But would it be the worst thing if you could all stand to be in a room together?”

“You do realize that none of them would want me there, don’t you?” Alastair asked.

“They already agreed to give you a chance if you give them a chance,” Thomas said and Alastair couldn’t even begin to imagine the horrible conversation about this that had occurred without him knowing.

“What makes you think they’re telling the truth about that?” Alastair asked.

“Because they know you’re important to me,” Thomas said. “And that I want to keep you around. It would be nice to be able to spend time with you and them both sometimes.”

Alastair thought that sounded like his worst nightmare, but he didn’t say it.

“I’m not asking you to commit to spending time with them regularly,” Thomas said. “But maybe you could try just this once and see how it goes. It’s a movie night so you don’t even really have to talk to them. And James already invited Cordelia, so you wouldn’t be the only date.”

Alastair considered. He still didn’t like the idea, but odds were that if he went, Matthew would say something rude that he could use as an excuse to not try again. Besides, he didn’t like the idea of Matthew pretending he was willing to spend time with him just so he would look better when Alastair was the one who said no.

“Alright,” Alastair agreed reluctantly. “But you’d better consider yourself lucky that I’m willing to try to tolerate them this once for you.”

* * *

Alastair was distracted in class by the fact that Thomas had the bandage off his tattoo and he was wearing a t-shirt. Alastair could only catch a glimpse of the edge of the tattoo with the way Thomas’s arm was resting on the desk, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off of it anyway.

After a couple of minutes, he grabbed Thomas’s hand and gently rolled his arm over so that the tattoo was facing upward, then pulled his hand back.

Thomas glanced over at him, then down at his arm, and smiled when he realized what Alastair was doing.

Alastair spent the rest of the class studying Thomas’s tattoo, trying to commit every little detail to his memory.

* * *

That night, they could have taken Thomas’s car, but they headed to the movie theatre on foot instead. Alastair was glad for the extra time to talk.

“Was I the first person you told about the tattoo?” Alastair asked.

“Yes,” Thomas admitted. “You and my dad were the only ones I told before I got it.”

“Why me first?” Alastair asked.

Thomas shrugged. “You wanted to know something about me you didn’t already. And I wanted to tell you.”

Alastair considered for a moment, then said, “I play the piano.”

He was fairly sure that Thomas probably didn’t know that already since there was no way he could have noticed it. Alastair only played at home for his own enjoyment. He had considered taking music classes at school, but he had decided it was safer to take classes that had less potential for him to be mocked for being in.

“You do?” Thomas asked.

“I love it,” Alastair said. “I just usually don’t play it around other people.”

“I’d like to hear you play sometime,” Thomas said. “If that’s alright with you.”

Alastair considered. He didn’t mind the idea of playing in front of Thomas. He just wasn’t entirely certain about the logistics of it since he didn’t intend to invite Thomas over to his house ever and he had never been in the school’s music room to check if there was a piano. Plus, even if there was, he had no idea if he would be allowed to use it.

“Maybe sometime,” he agreed.

* * *

As the movie started, Alastair grabbed Thomas’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Thomas rubbed the back of Alastair’s hand with his thumb and Alastair could feel goosebumps rush up his arm.

They didn’t talk during the movie, but Alastair alternated between watching the screen and Thomas’s face. He always preferred watching movies on the big screen and he was glad that Thomas was getting to see this one properly.

As soon as the movie ended, they talked nonstop about it. Alastair could have kept going forever if they hadn’t eventually reached his house, despite the slow pace and long route they had taken back to it.

Alastair considered for a second when they stopped at the end of his driveway, then Thomas chuckled as Alastair stepped onto his boots, wrapping his arms around Thomas’s broad shoulders to help balance himself.

He still had to tilt his head back to kiss Thomas, even standing on top of his feet. As they kissed, Thomas wrapped his arms around Alastair’s waist, then suddenly Alastair’s feet weren’t on Thomas’s anymore as Thomas lifted him slightly.

When they finally broke the kiss, Thomas set him back down. Alastair wasn’t sure why he liked the idea of Thomas lifting him so much.

He stepped down off of Thomas’s shoes and smiled at him.

“Good night, noore cheshmam,” he said.

“What does that mean?” Thomas asked.

“Light of my eyes,” Alastair said.

The look on Thomas’s face was so much Alastair practically had to look away.

“I like that a lot,” Thomas told him.

“I guess I finally settled on what to call you then,” Alastair said.

* * *

Saturday, Thomas picked up Alastair and Cordelia both for movie night.

“Hey, delbaram,” Thomas said with a smile as Alastair got into the front seat and Cordelia got into the back.

Alastair just stared at him for a moment, in utter awe that Thomas had learned that for him.

“Did I say it wrong?” Thomas asked, clearly taking Alastair’s surprised silence as a sign that he had made a mistake. “Sorry. I thought I had it. Cordelia told me how to pronounce it like twenty times on the phone this morning.”

“You said it right,” Cordelia said from the backseat.

Thomas looked relieved as he pulled out of the driveway.

Alastair couldn’t believe that Thomas had called Cordelia for help learning a pet name for him. He was mildly embarrassed thinking about that phone call, but he loved Cordelia for teaching him.

“I’m surprised you’re being so quiet now considering how loud you’ve been at home lately,” Cordelia said with a laugh.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Alastair insisted.

“Sure you do,” Cordelia said. She turned to Thomas as she added, “He’s been in such a good mood lately that he’s been singing in the shower every morning. I wonder what that could be about.”

Every ounce of gratitude he had felt toward his sister moments before evaporated. Alastair had been wrong to think of her as kind-hearted when what she really was was an unbearable rat.

Thomas seemed delighted by the information as he eagerly asked, “You sing?”

Alastair shrugged. “Not really.”

“Oh, don’t listen to him,” Cordelia said. “He’s lying. He used to sing while doing _everything…_ While washing the dishes, in the shower, while folding laundry, to himself while he worked on his homework. It didn’t matter what. You could constantly tell where he was by wherever the song was coming from.”

“ _Used to_ ,” Alastair repeated as he silently wondered why his sister had so abruptly decided that she hated him.

“Really?” Thomas asked, sounding utterly amused by the turn the conversation had taken.

“When we were little, he used to put on performances,” Cordelia added. “He made be the ticket taker.”

“I will throw myself out of this car,” Alastair warned her.

“I don’t see why you’re so embarrassed,” Cordelia insisted. She turned to Thomas as she added, “He’s a very good singer.”

“First, piano, now this,” Thomas said, sounding thrilled at the new information.

Alastair opened his mouth to retort but closed it again when he realized where they were driving. He didn’t know how he could have possibly been stupid enough not to ask where they were going.

When Thomas had offered to drive him and Cordelia both, he had assumed that they would be going to James’ place, but no. Alastair couldn’t possibly have been that lucky. Instead, Thomas was headed to Matthew’s house.

Alastair half turned around in his seat to look at his sister, wondering if she had known where they were going and hadn’t bothered to warn him. Judging by the worried look on her face, she hadn’t had any idea either.

Suddenly, the thought of throwing himself out of the car to get out of this wasn’t sounding quite as much like a joke now that he would potentially have to put up with Matthew and Charles both, all in front of Thomas.

* * *

Thomas didn’t bother knocking when they arrived. He just led Alastair and Cordelia inside Matthew’s house and to the living room.

Alastair only made it a step into the room before Matthew’s dog rushed over and started jumping up on his legs and wagging his tail enthusiastically.

Matthew’s brow furrowed as he looked over at them. His tone was confused as he said, “Oscar Wilde doesn’t usually like unfamiliar people.”

_Perfect_.

Alastair tried to telepathically communicate with Oscar Wilde to stop giving him away but, if anything, the dog’s tail only wagged even harder.

He wanted to tell him to leave him alone, but the dog probably wouldn’t listen and then Matthew would be bound to make some big production in front of Thomas about how Alastair was mistreating his dog. So, instead, Alastair shot his sister a look, silently willing her to distract them all from the fact that this dog definitely had met him more than once and had regularly smelled him all over Charles for the past two years.

“What are we watching?” Cordelia asked.

Alastair was silently grateful that she had chosen to be more cooperative than she had been in the car.

“It’s Kit’s turn to choose,” James said.

“Radioactive,” Christopher said. “It’s about Marie Curie.”

“Ah, yes,” Matthew said. “We should have known. What with your scandalous affair.”

Alastair had no idea what Matthew was talking about, but Thomas laughed.

“Is it really an affair if she died never knowing he existed long before he was born?” Thomas asked.

“If it is, it must be a failed one,” James told him.

“Is there any kind more scandalous?” Matthew asked.

“Semantics don’t matter,” Christopher insisted. “I still know her works and she is still the only lady of my heart.”

Alastair looked over at Cordelia, trying to tell if he was the only one who had zero idea what anyone was talking about, but she seemed utterly unfazed by the conversation.

* * *

By some horribly cruel turn of fate, Alastair ended up sitting next to Thomas on a couch that he had been with Charles on before. He tried not to think about that as the movie started.

James and Cordelia sat together on a loveseat and Matthew and Christopher were on the floor. Christopher was lying on his stomach watching the screen while Matthew sat cross-legged next to him with Oscar Wilde in his lap. Alastair had been relieved when Matthew had removed the dog from his feet, but he suspected the action had been more out of jealousy than charity.

There was a little space between Alastair and Thomas on the couch when the movie started, but about five minutes into it, Thomas nudged Alastair’s leg with his own.

Alastair glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, but Thomas was watching the movie. Or, he at least appeared to be. Alastair remembered him saying he was usually indifferent to the kinds of movies he watched with his friends.

A few seconds later, Thomas’s knee nudged him again, a little harder this time.

Alastair nudged him back, half expecting that to be the end of it, but Thomas nudged his leg over a little further right after.

This time, when Alastair glanced at him, he caught Thomas watching him out of the corner of his eye. Alastair looked away again and nudged back even harder.

Thomas laughed under his breath at that.

Alastair fully turned his head to look at him, but Thomas was pretending to watch the movie again, so Alastair turned his attention back to the screen and stuck his hand on Thomas’s knee to keep him from moving it again.

That strategy worked for about two minutes before Thomas got bored again and started turning his foot to nudge Alastair’s foot instead.

Alastair laughed softly and quickly covered it up with a cough. He could feel Thomas smirking beside him without even looking, so he nudged Thomas’s foot back.

They went back and forth nudging each other’s feet for a few minutes before Alastair put a stop to it by shifting to sit with his foot on top of Thomas’s to hold it still.

For a few minutes, Alastair actually knew what was happening in the movie, but then Thomas nudged him in the shoulder.

Alastair shot him an incredulous look, but Thomas just smiled back at him. Alastair looked away and smiled a little to himself as he gently elbowed him. Thomas elbow him back just as softly a moment later.

They went back and forth like that for about a minute straight until Alastair finally grabbed Thomas’s hand and intertwined their fingers as he dragged it over into his lap. He wrapped his other arm around Thomas’s upper arm, holding it still against his chest, for good measure. His foot was still over top of Thomas’s.

Thomas was still smiling and watching him as if he was infinitely more interesting than the movie. Alastair couldn’t help but smile back.

Alastair barely held back a laugh as he quietly insisted, “ _Watch the movie_.”

He felt eyes on him immediately and hardened his features as he turned and found James, Matthew, and Cordelia all looking at them curiously. Christopher was still utterly absorbed in the movie.

Alastair forced his eyes back onto the screen and ignored them all as he suddenly became very aware of just how entangled he and Thomas had become since the movie had begun.

Thankfully, after about five minutes, everyone else seemed to have forgotten about them altogether and they were all paying attention to the movie again. Even Thomas seemed to be watching.

Alastair glanced around a couple extra times to make absolutely certain no one was looking at them before he set his chin down on Thomas’s shoulder. It really was more comfortable than holding his own head up. He saw why Thomas had liked having his chin on Alastair’s shoulder when they had read together.

As he thought about their reading date, he remembered how Thomas’s shoulder and neck kisses had made him feel. He wanted Thomas to feel that too, so when he was certain no one was going to turn and notice, he just barely lifted his chin enough that he could shift to kiss Thomas’s shoulder before resting his chin back on his shoulder again.

Thomas turned and kissed the side of Alastair’s head, then turned back to the movie again. Alastair was certain Thomas must have been able to feel his heart hammering against the arm that was still against Alastair’s chest.

* * *

Alastair lifted his chin off of Thomas’s shoulder when he heard Matthew’s front door in the distance a while later. He silently prayed that whoever it was wouldn’t come anywhere near the living room, or that it at least wouldn’t be Charles, but luck was not on his side once again.

Charles leaned against the doorframe as he looked around the room before his eyes settled on Alastair and Thomas, then flicked down to their intertwined hands.

“Well, that’s disgusting,” Charles said.

Alastair felt his body go stiff and his hand tightened around Thomas’s. He knew that he wasn’t being subtle, but he couldn’t make himself loosen his grip anyway.

“Nobody asked your opinion,” Cordelia retorted immediately.

Charles was staring right at him and it took effort for Alastair to make himself look away, pretending that he even remotely cared about what was going on in the movie anymore.

“Shut up and go away,” Matthew told his brother. “No one invited you.”

Alastair knew that Matthew was saying it for Thomas’s benefit and not his, but he still found himself a little relieved at that.

“Like I’d want to spend time with any of you anyway,” Charles muttered as he left the room.

Alastair didn’t get the chance to relax with him gone though since two minutes later his phone buzzed in his pocket, signaling a text message. He ignored it, but another message came a few seconds later. Then another. And another.

His phone was in the pocket on the opposite side of Thomas, but Alastair still thought it was probably only a matter of time before Thomas would notice his phone buzzing over and over again.

Alastair was certain the messages were from Charles, but he had no desire to read what they said. He wished that he could just ignore them, but it didn’t seem like Charles was planning to stop any time soon.

When his phone buzzed again, he asked, “Where’s the washroom?”

He barely listened to Matthew’s directions as he stood up, but that didn’t matter. He already knew where the washroom was and that wasn’t where he was headed anyway.

* * *

Alastair headed directly for Charles’ room, but he found him waiting in one of the hallways for him on the way.

“Stop texting me,” Alastair told him.

Charles completely ignored him as he asked, “What is this? Now you’re on a date with him in my house?”

“I didn’t know we were coming here,” Alastair insisted. “Or I would have stayed home.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Charles asked.

“Yes,” Alastair said, confused. “Because it’s the truth.”

“No, it’s not,” Charles said. “You came here with him to spite me. Admit it.”

“You think I invited myself to your house?” Alastair asked.

“You’re mad about Grace and now you’re pretending to be interested in him to get back at me,” Charles insisted. “You want my attention? You got it.”

“I don’t want your attention anymore,” Alastair said. “I just want you to stop texting me.”

He turned to leave, but Charles got in his way. When he tried to go around him, Alastair found himself caught between Charles’ arms as he rested his hands against the wall.

Alastair took a step back, but the wall stopped him from moving any further away.

“I know this is all to make me jealous,” Charles said. He took a small step forward, uncomfortably close, as he told him, “You win. It’s working.”

“This has nothing to do with you,” Alastair insisted. “Get out of my way.”

“I’ll move when you admit you’re still in love with me,” Charles insisted. He leaned closer as he added, “You want me to kiss you right now. Admit it.”

Alastair closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to get out of this situation, then he heard floorboards creak behind Charles and his eyes shot open.

Charles was far too close to see past him, but Alastair knew this looked terrible. He was certain he was doomed no matter who had found them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: If anyone’s thinking oh maybe the creaking floorboard is from Oscar Wilde, it is not. It's from very human footsteps :)**
> 
> **Also, once Chain of Iron comes out I will be disappearing until I’ve had time to finish reading it around work and everything else because I’m terrified of getting something spoiled, but I will be back after!**
> 
> **I’m also realizing that I never mentioned my tumblr on here and I feel like everyone probably already knows about it but in case anyone doesn’t:**
> 
> **Pros of following me on tumblr: more information about what’s going on with the other characters in the fic (including a series of posts about Thomas’s thoughts chapter by chapter that I’m going to update more soon), stupid memes about the fic, lots of posts about the fic**
> 
> **Cons of following me on tumblr: I literally never shut up about this fic, ominous vague posts about what will happen, why are there so many bad memes?**


	12. Chapter 12

“I’ll move when you admit you’re still in love with me,” Charles insisted. He leaned closer as he added, “You want me to kiss you right now. Admit it.”

Alastair closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to get out of this situation, then he heard floorboards creak behind Charles and his eyes shot open.

Charles was far too close to see past him, but Alastair knew this looked terrible. He was certain he was doomed no matter who had found them.

“Apparently, I should have brought my sword,” Cordelia said and Alastair was overwhelmed with relief that it was her.

Charles pulled back a little to look at her and Alastair ducked under his arm to get further away from him.

“Mind your own business,” Charles said.

“It doesn’t seem like you’re minding yours,” Cordelia pointed out. She turned to look at Alastair as she asked, “Or do you want to be here?”

“I don’t want anything to do with him anymore,” Alastair said.

“Good, then we’re going back,” Cordelia said.

She grabbed him by the hand and led him down the hall. Alastair was relieved when Charles didn’t try to follow them.

Cordelia dropped his hand when they turned around the corner and into the next hallway.

“Are you alright?” She asked quietly.

“I’m fine now,” he said.

“We can leave if you want to,” Cordelia said.

“That would be more suspicious than staying,” Alastair pointed out. “Besides, what’s he going to do? Come say something in front of them? He wouldn’t risk any chance of them finding out. It’ll be fine.”

* * *

“He got lost,” Cordelia said as an explanation as she led Alastair back into the living room.

Alastair expected Matthew to make some snarky comment about how he hoped Alastair hadn’t been going through his room, but Matthew just shot them a confused look and then turned back to the TV.

Cordelia went and sat back with James, on his lap this time.

Alastair sat down next to Thomas again and shifted to lean his back against Thomas’s chest. He felt a little more relaxed as Thomas wrapped an arm around his waist, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the hallway. The moment he was sure that Charles was going to kiss him and the moment he was sure that Thomas was about to catch him in a compromising position with Charles kept replaying in his head.

Alastair glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to him and found just Cordelia glancing at him, probably checking to make sure he was really alright after the incident with Charles.

Alastair shifted so his back was against Thomas’s upper arm and his side was against Thomas’s chest, then tilted his head back to look up at him. Thomas looked down at him curiously and Alastair shot a meaningful look to Thomas’s mouth, then stretched up toward him.

Thomas caught on and bent his head down to kiss him. Alastair kept the kiss brief because he didn’t particularly want anyone else to notice him kissing Thomas, but he felt a little better as he leaned back against Thomas’s chest again afterward. He could hardly believe that a few weeks ago, Thomas had been the one trying to kiss him and Charles had been the one he had been rushing off to kiss afterward.

Alastair’s brief moment of partial relaxation didn’t last long before his phone buzzed in his pocket again. He wanted to ignore it, but he didn’t want to miss it if it was his mother needing something.

He slid his phone out of his pocket and glanced at it down by his leg, then quickly turned the screen off the moment that he saw that it was yet another text from Charles.

Alastair set his phone down face down beside him and spoke in Farsi as he said, “ _He messaged me again. The whole reason I went to find him was to tell him to stop and he didn’t even listen._ ”

Cordelia frowned and then spoke in Farsi as well as she said, “ _Give me your phone._ ”

Alastair didn’t question her, just tossed his phone across the room to her.

James flinched like he thought Alastair had been aiming at his head, but Cordelia caught it easily.

“ _What’s your password?_ ” She asked.

“ _One nine zero two,”_ he told her.

Cordelia held the phone behind James’ head where he couldn’t see it, with her arms wrapped loosely around his neck as she did something Alastair couldn’t see. After a moment, she said, “ _There. Problem solved._ ”

“ _What did you do?_ ” He asked.

“ _Blocked his number,_ ” she told him.

Alastair had been avoiding doing that himself because of how angry he thought it might make Charles, but he was surprised that all he felt at Cordelia doing it for him was relief. “ _Thanks._ ”

Cordelia tossed his phone back and Thomas caught it for Alastair, then handed it to him without looking at it. Alastair stuck it back in his pocket, glad that he could finally relax and try to pay attention to the last part of the movie.

No one asked why Cordelia had needed his phone.

* * *

When Thomas dropped them back off at their house after the movie, Cordelia thanked Thomas and got out of the car, leaving them there together. Alastair was relieved his mother was home to make sure Cordelia wouldn’t see anything she shouldn’t while he lingered outside.

“Thanks,” Thomas said. “I know that’s not how you would have chosen to spend tonight.”

“It wasn’t,” Alastair agreed. “But the you part wasn’t awful.”

Thomas laughed.

“What?” Alastair asked.

“That sounds like what you said after the party,” Thomas said. “I still don’t understand why you asked me to that of all things when you didn’t even like parties.”

“Maybe I didn’t know I hated parties until I got there,” Alastair said with a shrug. When Thomas looked at him skeptically, he added, “It wasn’t about the party. It was about the fact that you asked me about it.”

Thomas smiled at him softly, then leaned across the car to kiss him. Alastair could feel him smiling against his lips and he thought that hardly seemed fair.

“I like you so much,” Thomas mumbled against his lips.

Alastair tangled his fingers in Thomas’s hair to keep him close as he pulled him in for another kiss. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was that Cordelia had come looking for him and not Thomas. He was overwhelmingly grateful that Cordelia had found out about Charles and she had his back about it.

* * *

“Good morning, noore cheshmam,” Alastair greeted Thomas when he got into his car on Monday.

Thomas kissed him in greeting, then as he pulled back, he said, “Good morning, delbaram.”

Alastair’s heart swelled at the nickname all over again. “I really like it when you call me that.”

“Maybe you and Cordelia can teach me more Farsi then,”Thomas said.

“Are you serious?” Alastair asked him.

“Yes,” Thomas said. “Why?”

Alastair couldn’t believe Thomas would want to learn more of his language for him. “Because I’d like to teach you.”

* * *

At lunchtime, Alastair headed to the music room instead of the cafeteria. He lingered in the hallway as a few more students and then the teacher filtered out, then he went inside and looked around. He smiled to himself when he saw that there was a piano after all.

He pulled out his phone and sent Thomas a message. _Do you still want to hear me play?_

Thomas’s response was almost immediate. _Obviously_

_Meet me in the music room then_

Thomas walked through the doorway less than two minutes later and Alastair realized he probably should have considered what he was going to play before that moment.

“Are you going to sing too?” Thomas asked.

“Don’t you think that’s pushing your luck?” Alastair asked with a laugh.

“You’re right,” Thomas said. “Sorry.”

Alastair sat down at the piano and considered for a moment before he started playing one of the more difficult pieces he had memorized.

Thomas’s eyes lit up as he watched him, but Alastair had to look away so he wouldn’t get distracted and forget how to play the song.

“That was incredible,” Thomas said when he finished playing.

Alastair shrugged. “I practice a lot.” After a moment, he asked, “Do you want to hear something else?”

“Yes.”

Alastair started playing a song his mother had taught him long ago, focusing on the notes and not Thomas. He didn’t look up as he began to sing softly in Farsi. He got about halfway through the song before he couldn’t stand wondering about Thomas’s reaction anymore and he looked up at Thomas to try to judge what he thought, then he immediately stumbled over a few notes, even though he had played the song flawlessly hundreds of times before.

Thomas was looking at him as if he had never heard music before that moment. Alastair completely forgot to start singing the next verse and as he tried to figure out how to join back in partway through without falling out of the right timing, he messed up another note and furrowed his brow in frustration.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Alastair said as he tried to recover. “You’re messing me up.”

“It sounds perfect to me,” Thomas said.

“Don’t ever tell my mother that you said that,” Alastair said as he gave up playing. “She taught me that song when I was ten and I haven’t messed it up in years.”

“In years, huh?” Thomas asked. “Am I that distracting?”

Alastair might have tried to deny it if he hadn’t just stopped playing because Thomas was such a distraction.

“You’re proud of that, aren’t you?” Alastair asked.

“Maybe,” Thomas admitted. “Cordelia was right by the way. You do have a really nice singing voice.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

A few minutes later, they walked back to the cafeteria together, then headed to their separate tables.

Thomas’s friends watched them enter and as he noticed the lunch left unattended at the space they had left for Thomas, Alastair realized that he had already been eating lunch with his friends when he had messaged him.

Alastair was sure that had probably annoyed Thomas’s friends, but he liked knowing that Thomas had left them to come to find him at his request.

“Where have you been?” Ariadne asked with a smirk as he sat down at their table.

“Nowhere you need to worry about,” he told her.

* * *

After school, Alastair went to the GSA meeting with Ariadne and then to the end of Thomas’s practice by himself again. He was glad that no one else showed up to wait for Thomas with him this time.

While he waited, he saw his sister and Lucie leave with Anna.

When Thomas had showered and come back out, he asked, “Hey, do you want to come over and hang out?”

Alastair considered. His mother wasn’t home, but neither was Cordelia, so he figured it was probably safe to spend more time with Thomas. “Okay.”

As they walked to Thomas’s car, Alastair sent Cordelia his usual text to message him when she knew what time she would be coming home. That way he could know how long he could stay out without having to worry the whole time that she might beat him home.

* * *

Hanging out turned out to mean making out on Thomas’s bed for about fifteen minutes before they even discussed doing anything else. Alastair didn’t have any complaints about that though.

“I can turn some music on,” Thomas said after a while.

“Okay,” Alastair said. “I’d like to hear what music you like.”

Thomas grabbed his phone and turned some music on the speaker. Alastair rested his cheek against Thomas’s chest as he listened.

“I want to hear some of your music too,” Thomas said.

“Alright,” Alastair said. “Some of your music first, then mine.”

“Deal,” Thomas said as he ran his fingers through Alastair’s hair. Alastair leaned into the touch.

They didn’t talk much as they listened to some of Thomas’s favourite songs.

Alastair grabbed Thomas’s hand closest to him and rested their intertwined hands on Thomas’s chest, close to his face so that he could study Thomas’s hand as he played with his fingers.

Thomas kept playing with his hair, only removing his fingers every once and a while to kiss the top of Alastair’s head before running his fingers through his hair all over again. When Thomas had done that a few times, Alastair brought their hands a little closer to him so that he could kiss Thomas’s fingers. He chuckled to himself when he felt Thomas’s breath hitch under his head.

A moment later, Alastair turned to kiss his chest through his shirt, then rested his cheek against Thomas’s chest again and shut his eyes peacefully. He could hear Thomas’s heart beating faster beneath his ear and he thought that sound was even better than the music.

After a while, Thomas turned his music off and Alastair put on a playlist from his phone instead before setting his phone down on the bed beside them. Thomas was rubbing his back now instead of playing with his hair and Alastair stretched up to kiss him before setting his head back down again, this time on Thomas’s shoulder.

Alastair shut his eyes again as he listened to the music and he smiled to himself as he felt Thomas kiss him on the forehead.

* * *

When Alastair woke up, he didn’t realize where he was at first until he shifted his weight to get up and woke Thomas up in the process. Alastair had no idea when either of them had fallen asleep, but when he looked out the window he saw that it was getting dark out.

Alastair grabbed his phone to pause the music and check what time it was, then he cursed under his breath as he saw that he had a missed message from Cordelia.

He rolled off of Thomas, who still looked half asleep and confused, and sat up as he read her message. He cursed again, with a little more feeling this time, as he saw that he had missed a message about her heading home soon from over half an hour before.

“What’s wrong?” Thomas asked as he rubbed sleepily at one eye.

“I have to go,” Alastair said. “I should have left already.”

“Okay, give me a second,” Thomas said with a yawn, then he must have noticed something urgent in Alastair’s expression because he sat up right away.

* * *

Alastair didn’t talk on the way back to his house. He could feel Thomas glancing at him and he knew that he was probably wondering what was going on, but he was far too busy worrying to try to come up with some sort of false explanation.

He knew Cordelia would almost definitely be home by this point which meant that he could only hope that either their mother had come back early from her book club, Cordelia had just gone straight up to her room, or their father hadn’t left a clear trail this time.

When Thomas stopped the car, Alastair practically flew out the door without a word.

He tried the front door and only felt more panicked when he found it unlocked. His mother always locked the door when she left just Elias home since she could never know whether he would be conscious or not by the time she got back. Cordelia must have beat him back to the house.

Alastair only made it two steps inside and he hadn’t even closed the front door yet when he saw his sister standing in the living room. Their father was passed out on the couch and Cordelia was looking around in awe at all of the bottles around him.

“You forgot your bag,” Thomas said from the doorway behind him, but Alastair hardly heard him.

“Is this what it looks like?” Cordelia asked as she looked up at her brother. He could tell from the look on her face that his lies wouldn’t fool her this time.

“You were never supposed to find out,” Alastair said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: I totally meant to leave it on the last cliffhanger until after Chain of Iron, but the writing motivation hit again so here we are but friendly reminder that I'm still going to disappear for a while to avoid spoilers once Chain of Iron is out!**
> 
> **Also, do you guys feel relieved now that you know things are fine between Thomas and Alastair for now? Or do you feel even more stressed knowing that you emotionally prepared yourself for angst that didn't happen but now the worst is still yet to come?**


End file.
